First trail skate of 2012



So yesterday was my first official trail skate of the year, and my first long distance skate on the new Bonts. I didn't place any kind of pressure on myself for speed or distance; I figured I'd go about 12-15 miles, work on getting used to the feel of the skates, maybe work on plow and t-stops; and have a nice, easy outing. I put them on, hit the trail, and I was like a duck on a pond! It seemed as if the faster I went, the more graceful and in control I felt. I hit the 7 mile mark and didn't feel like turning around. I hit the 10 mile mark, and didn't feel like turning around. I decided to turn around at 8th avenue (which is about the 14 mile mark) but once I got there, I noticed that the detour was gone and the new portion of the trail was open! So of COURSE I had to go check it out... I ended up at confluence park - 15.91 miles one way. I took a little break to enjoy the sunshine!

As I relaxed a bit, I began to notice a few things. First of all, my feet were tingly and tight. My calves were sore. I was TIRED... OOooooooh crap. I had a feeling the ride home wasn't going to be nearly as enjoyable as the ride out had been!! I rested for about 10 minutes then started heading back. Of course, the wind was in my face for about 5 solid miles; this made me even more tired... My legs started cramping, my feet were hurting and I was practically limping that last 7 miles. With one mile left to go, a twig got caught in one of my skates and almost took me down. Once again, I managed to somehow slow down while balanced on one foot with something stuck in the other one. That last mile seemed to take forever...

When I got back to my truck, I felt like I was going to pass out!! My legs were cramped, and I was exhausted. While taking off my right boot my calf suddenly seized up and had me in agony... This hasn't ever happened before!! Obviously I overdid it; I mean, I haven't been skating regularly in months, and I haven't really been exercising either. I think I put my poor body into shock by expecting any kind of performance out of it after an extended period of being sedentary. My bad. I'm paying for it now! Oh, I also have some raw spots on my ankles; identical on each foot.

I was told by several people that this was caused from toe pushing. I can tell you that it was caused by exhaustion = sloppy skating. My form went to crap with about 10 miles left to go; and that's about the time I started feeling the burning pain. I take full responsibility for the raw spots on my feet, the cramped muscles in my legs, and the lower back pain I'm experiencing today...

Even though I pushed myself way more than I should have (an overzealous 31.77 miles to be exact) it was not a total loss! The skates feel pretty good, and I felt in control in them pretty quickly. I will take it easy next time and work my way back up to it. I can say that I have a really good feeling about this year, I think it's going to be awesome!!!!

36.58 miles down for 2012, 1463.42 to go...



Another year

Today is my 41st birthday. When I was a kid, I thought 40 was ancient... But now that I'm here, I feel more alive and more youthful than I ever did in my 20's or 30's. (Aside from the fact that I can't stay up all night anymore... However, I do get up way before noon nowadays so I think it's a pretty even trade-off.)

Sometimes I wish I would've discovered this whole world of inline skating while back in my 20's - but then I think about the person I was back then. I was insecure, and self-conscious, I had low self-esteem and zero self-confidence. I recall one time while I was working out at the gym, I overheard a girl make a comment about my butt. I was so mortified that I didn't go back to the gym for over a week.. And when I did, I was wearing an oversized t-shirt... Speed skaters know that you cannot obsess over how your ass looks in spandex, because while skating in a pace line your ass is less than a foot away from the person behind you. The last thing you need to be worried about is how your butt looks because you need to be 100% focused on what's in front of you!

I love being in my 40's. It's like having the best of both worlds. If you are healthy and active; you still feel like a kid when your body is in motion. But you also have the wisdom that can only come with life experience. You learn how to feel comfortable in your own skin, accepting who you are - and all of your adorable flaws - embracing them instead of obsessing over them. I feel a lot more at ease with the world and my place in it. I also feel more defined, and definitely a lot more confident!

I also feel like this is the right place and the right time for me to be doing exactly what I am doing. My body feels like it's up for the challenge, my head definitely does; and my heart is completely into it. As for my butt, well, thanks to genetics I had skater butt long before I ever became a skater; and it's only becoming more pronounced. I'm actually kind of proud of it...

Unpredictable Variables

Every fitness journey has unpredictable variables that disrupt the flow, toss you off track, derail you and distract you; kind of like cosmic monkey wrenches flung from left field to completely muck up the works. Sometimes it's illness or an old injury acting up, an unexpected project at work, or if you have kids - well, kids themselves are little walking monkey wrenches. Either way, we all have them.

The primary unpredictable variable along my journey is bipolar disorder.

I was diagnosed in 2000 at age 29, but I've had it since my adolescent years. Best guess is that all of the trauma from 1998 kicked it into full gear - and with a vengeance. From my diagnosis in July of 2000 until September of 2006, I endured the unique hell that is psychotropic medication side effects. I reached a point where I chose to embrace my disorder rather than try to bury it under a chemical cocktail and for me, that's working. It got to a point where I had to make the decision that I would rather feel crazy than feel nothing at all, because those medications numb your very soul.

Learning to function with bipolar rather than quelch it is kind if like padding around with a restless tiger on a ribbon. I have bipolar II - which means the depressive cycles are worse than the manic ones. Over the years, my cycles have become fairly predictable, with pretty much the same indicators each time a new cycle begins. (Up, down, and 'normal'... But who's really to say what's normal?) Being aware and in tune with myself and how my mind works has helped me learn how to ride out the waves, as well as diet, exercise, and keeping my life as steady and predictable as possible. Keeping all of  these things in line helps keep me fairly stable. Of course, I don't always keep that tiger under control but for the most part I function and cope and live my life.

I refuse to feel ashamed or embarrassed or stigmatized. I consider bipolar disorder to be a dash of exotic seasoning that makes me a little more interesting. There are positives to each cycle. When I'm riding the vivid waves of mania I'm creative, and funny, and I can clean a house like nobody's business! When the quiet blanket of melancholy wraps around me I become introspective and poetic; emotional and connected to the world in ways I can't even explain. Either way, up or down; I feel so much more alive. I will never, ever take any type of medication to cage this tiger again. To do so forces me to disavow a part of my very identity.

The downside of course, is how the cycles disrupt my routine. Hence it being a variable. Mania isn't an issue, while manic I can skate until the cows came home if I wanted to - and then skate with the cows! It's the depressive side that wields the monkey wrench. I feel fatigue leaching down into my very bones; like my blood is molasses. Things that are usually simple become a struggle. I stop caring and sink down inside of myself; down into places where I can hide from the world. It's frustrating, but it's also temporary. Knowing this always helps me ride it out.

Right around the end of September or the beginning of October, that blanket settles down around my shoulders. The delicious rush of mania subsides, and I grow still and contemplative. I write crappy poetry and reflect upon the world. I fill page after page of my journal with my upcoming plans; but most of all - I patiently wait. In March or April, when the days start getting a little longer and a little warmer; the blanket lifts and the cycle starts all over again. Each year it gets a little easier; maybe it's just because the tiger is getting older? ;)

"Aren't you afraid you'll fall??"

Every single skater I know has heard these words at LEAST a half dozen times. Any time I tell anyone who is a non-skater that I'm working on becoming a speed skater, I hear some variation of this phrase... Aren't you afraid of falling? Aren't you worried about crashing? Aren't you scared you'll wreck??

And to be quite honest, the answer is 'no'. I can't afford to be afraid because fear puts limits on what a person can accomplish. Not to say that I'm fearless because I'm not; I simply choose to NOT think about it. When I lined up at Northshore I was thinking about a million different things - I forgot my sunglasses, will the sun or wind be an issue? Will I run out of water? Am I with the right wave? Will I find a paceline that's going at the speed I want to skate? But not once did I allow the possibility of falling cross my mind. I saw three skaters fall - one right off the line - and I thought 'ouch, sucks to be them!' but I did not allow myself to wonder if I would be next. I almost bit it when the surface changed to that ridiculous ridged section but I caught myself, adjusted my stride, and continued forward without a second thought. I don't want to be hampered by the fear of 'what if', I want to be a speed skater.

There are a million things we do every single day that carry the What If factor. If you allow yourself to be governed by the fear of what MIGHT happen, how can you possibly enjoy life? Fear of falling would ruin skating for me! I am hyper vigilant when I skate the bike trail; my eyes constantly moving to keep all possible obstacles in my line of sight. I know what areas are usually congested and adjust my speed accordingly. I know what parts of the trail will be littered if it's rained the night before, and I know what portion tends to have gravel on it. I even know where to expect the geese. When I race an unfamilar track, I rely on the skaters in front of me to keep me aware of possible obstacles. Of course, I'm sure there may come a time when I do fall, and if it happens - it happens. Life will go on, and I will continue to skate. I've taken diggers before and it wasn't the end of the world.

For any non-skaters who are afraid to try inline skating based on a fear of falling - I honestly don't know how to convince you to stuff that fear into a box and focus instead on the benefits of skating. Fitness skating at a decent stride burns up to 800 calories an hour. Skating has no impact on your joints like running does. Skating gets you outside in the fresh air and sunshine, and you can cover a LOT more ground than running. But best of all, skating feels like flying, and no amount of What If can ever overtake that feeling.

To sock or not to sock - that is the question...

Apparently there is quite a debate amongst skaters as to whether or not one should skate with socks or without socks. As a fitness skater, this was a no-brainer non-issue. I wore very cushy wigwam socks that attempted to keep my feet dry. (I say 'attempted' because I am a turbo sweat-machine. I swear I have sweat glands over every inch of my body...) When I'm done with a hard skate I look like I just got out of a swimming pool and I smell like a truck driver after a 12 hour shift! So any materials that can 'attempt' to help manage this will be utilized by yours truly.

Last year as I began to skate farther and harder, I developed some raw spots on my ankles. I was introduced to a wonderful product known as the eZeefit bootie. I got a pair and wore them underneath my socks. Raw spot problem solved! They are fantastic!

The eZeefit bootie

I swear by this product and figured that it would carry over to my speed skate adventure as well. I also figured that socks would too; because of the aforementioned turbo-sweat issue. I know a lot of skaters who skate with just the booties, and knowing my own sweat capabilities it makes me shudder at the thought of being one of these people. I don't care how many holes there are at the top of my boots; unless you have an industrial strength built- in fan, I sincerely doubt they'll do me much good. I envision my poor feet swimming. Unpleasant.

So, I went to Sports Authority and purchased the absolute thinnest dry max type running socks I could find. Seamless, thin, wicking. Sweet. I put them on over the bootie, shoved my foot in my skate; and my foot was numb within minutes. Sucky.

Dry Max hyper thin running socks

I am now wondering if I will end of being an 'either/or' person. Either I skate w/ the booties or I skate w/ socks. Unless my boots stretch a little over time to allow the room - I cannot have both.

A few of my skater friends were debating the pros and cons of 'barefoot' skating vs. socks, and the arguments were interesting (and amusing.) The biggest argument against barefoot skating was The Stench Factor. The odors produced by a sweaty skate are pretty significant - but I can tell you from experience that wearing socks is NO guarantee that you won't stink. (My truck smells like a locker room during the summer; and no one will ride in it.) Advice received included putting paper towels in the skates immediately after taking them off; then a couple of hours later popping some dryer sheets in them. Another suggestion was a handy $20 item known as a Peet shoe dryer. After skating, you just put your boots on this gadget and let it dry them out for you.... I'm seriously considering investing in one of these...

Peet Shoe Dryer

There were also many suggestions for sprays, liners, powders, and those little deodorizing balls... The line between the socked and the sockless was pretty even - and their arguments are all pretty compelling. Those for the barefoot skating cite that your toes can grip the bottom of the skate better offering more control. I actually experienced this a little yesterday while skating indoor, but also noticed it got a little slippery in there as well. I tried not to think about it. Personally I want to be able to wear socks with my skates - but the booties offer blister protection in those areas where I am most vulnerable.... So maybe I should try this out?

The eZeefit FULL FOOT BOOTIE....

This quite possibly could offer the best of BOTH worlds and solve my problem completely... So what about you? Are you among the socked? Or the sockless?

The Great Indoors

Today was a really good day. It was a day of firsts; first time skating indoor, and first time skating on my new Bonts!!

My boots arrived on January 12th, I was so excited I drove down to FedEx and picked them up instead of waiting to have them delivered. I put the frames & high rollers on just to see what they look like and in my opinion, they truly are a thing of beauty:

Of course, there is currently about a foot of snow outside and the trails and streets are icy and gross; so no outdoor skating for me just yet. Instead I did laps around my dining room table with two excited dogs chasing me. It was great fun! Without the option to hit the trails I will be doing indoor skating for the next couple of months. I have to say, though; it's been YEARS since I've skated at a skating rink! I have visuals of dimmed lights, a disco ball, carpeted walls and 'Tom Sawyer' blaring on the speakers... (Yeah, it's seriously been THAT long...) So my visual of indoor skating looks a little like this -

I'm happy to report that it was nothing like that. The Rocky Mountain Speed skaters are super nice and very helpful; they made me feel welcome and gave me lots of great advice. My nervousness disappeared almost immediately so I could focus on enjoying myself. 

(I brought my small camera but all of the pictures came out crappy so I apologize in advance for that...) 

That photo is a blurry mess but that's me on the far right. In spite of feeling like a complete and utter newbie on my skates; I had a blast!! I participated in the practice, and although not as fast or as polished a skater, I felt like I did okay! I worked on crossovers (clunky and clumsy) and a few other things, I know it's just a matter of time. I have the desire to be a better skater so I'm very willing to learn. I feel that what I take from this experience will definitely benefit my outdoor skating. Now is the time to focus on form, and learning some basics (like stopping!) the speed will come!

 a blurry me with James

My skates fit like a glove, I had some areas of rubbing on the tops of my toes on my right foot but other than that nothing felt uncomfortable. (and when I took my boots off, I had no blisters or raw spots; just some redness.) I was able to lace them, but I cannot fit both a sock AND an EzeeFit bootie in the boots. It's either one or the other. I opted for the bootie. Hopefully after a few skates they'll stretch a little more so I can fit a sock in there! 

My indoor set up

The difference between the Bonts and the K2s is unbelievable. They feel so much lighter and I feel like I can move and maneuver around a lot easier. I am so looking forward to seeing what I can get out of these skates!

My new skates vs. my old ones. What a difference!

Reconciling my Fears

I wish I could say that I am fearless. I wish I could tell you that I can stand with my soul wide open in the face of something that terrifies me without figuratively peeing down my own leg. But I can't. I am not a warrior. I'm cautious. I'm hesitant. I'm scared of the unknown. I have friends who can fly - down the side of a mountain on skis, on snowboards, on mountain bikes - down 40 degree hills on inline skates with no brakes; and although they might bite it and end up ass over heels, they bounce right back up and keep on soaring. [More than likely sporting some bruises, road rash and/or broken bones: but as soon as they heal they are right back out there.]

I am not like this. I really wish I were. It pains me to admit this out loud, but I cannot be true to myself or true to my inline journey without first owning up to my fears. When I take a digger that seriously injures me, it often breaks more than just the surface of my skin. It gouges my self-confidence. It makes me afraid. When I was 25, I bought a mountain bike. I was fearless. I never even considered the fact that I could get hurt. One day out on a trail in the mountains, I hit the root of a tree wrong and went flying over my handle bars. I landed head first into a river. (Yes, I was wearing a helmet and yes, it probably saved me from serious harm.) I wasn't hurt, just very shaken. (And wet)... Suddenly, the reality of injury was apparent; and I've never been able to ride like that since. So, as I'm getting ready to make the transition from a soft, cushy, fully supportive recreational skate (WITH a heel brake) to a full racing skate without a brake or full ankle support - I'm beginning to experience some fears... Irrational, idiotic, unrealistic, or otherwise; here they are...

First and foremost - what if I can't do this? What if everything I accomplished last year marked the pinnacle of my skating experience? What if I'm not meant to be any greater than I've already been? What if I'm setting myself up for humiliating failure?

What if I can't get the hang of the speed skates? What if I can't stop, and this time when that stupid goose crosses the trail in front of me I take us both out??

What if I can't accomplish my goals? The mileage goal. The time goal. The skating events? What if I've bitten off more than I can chew?

What if I get seriously injured? Would that make me too afraid to do the one thing in my life that makes me feel like I'm flying?

Hmmm, wait a minute... The very first time I strapped on a pair of inline skates (also at age 25) I took off down the trail and I didn't even know how to stop. I was crossing a busy street and cars were coming straight at me; in a panic I went down, ass over heels across the intersection. I was picking gravel out of my shoulder for two days... And all that did was make me take the time to learn how to stop. The first time I got clipped by a cyclist, I went skidding along the trail and completely tore up my knee... And all that did was make me decide to skate with my earbud out of my left ear so I could hear cyclists coming. And then there was A2A. The sheer terror I felt the night before when hearing all of the things I could expect on that road skate, I was scared, I was hesitant; but I did it. So maybe I do have a little bit of a warrior in me after all.

I guess the point is that I am afraid that I won't be able to live up to the expectations I've set for myself. Of course, the only way to find out is to get out there and do what I feel I need to do. For me. Because I really believe that I can. And if my skate history is any indication of what to expect - if I fail, it'll only make me do what I need to do to succeed.

Bring on 2012 - My skating goals!

Well, I slept through the start of the new year, but it's all good. I don't think how you ring in the new year defines what you intend to do with it: I woke up to 2012 filled with ambition and plans!

I am still waiting on my custom Bont boots; they should be here within the next 15 days (and I can't hardly wait!!) I got my frames and a set of Bont 105mm mint high rollers so I just need the boots!

These frames are a work of art - IMO.. ;)

My skating goals for 2012:

• Miles: 1500
• Events:  3 - possibly 4. The events I for sure would like to participate in are Texas Road Rash (Round Rock TX - April 21st), Napa Valley (Napa Valley CA - July 8th), and Northshore (Duluth MN - September 15th). My maybe events include Rolling on the River (Grand Forks ND - August 25th) and the Minneapolis half marathon (August 5th). - Of course, this is all contingent upon $$$$...
• Marathon Time: 1:25. (This is about 9 minutes faster than my Northshore official time of 1:34.02) 
• Do at least one race at the pro level. I just think this would be really fun and challenging!
• Indoor: I will be starting indoor skating on January 15th - I wanted to wait for the Bonts before starting. I have indoor wheels so once I get my boots I will be ready to go! The main things I hope to accomplish with indoor are - learning cross overs, getting more comfortable w/ pack skating, working on my form, and stopping without a brake. I figured that transitioning from a rec skate to a true speed skate would be a little less daunting in the controlled environment of an indoor rink. I hope I am correct in that assumption!
• Outdoor: Once again my outdoor goals are basically skating 3-4x per week; 12-20 miles on weeknights; 25-35 on weekends. My intentions are to work on technique, building endurance; and of course - getting faster. (Of course, this is all contingent upon the weather - I won't be able to really get into this routine until March/April.)

My general fitness goals are the same as they always are; weight training 3x a week, and getting myself lean and tight. I will be skating in a skin suit this year; I do not want to look like a jelly donut wrapped in saran wrap! My primary struggles are with motivation - and nutrition. My two main issues when it comes to nutrition are willpower and cravings. I have gotten myself to the point of no longer eating nor craving greasy fast food; but sweets still stand as the number 1 barrier to my success. I need to find healthy, satisfying alternatives to keep me on track.

After a slow start, 2011 was a moderately successful year for me. I skated 1380 miles (my goal was 1000) I skated 3 skating events (my goal was 1) and I managed to place in two of those events!! I made a TON of new friends, and being in contact with other skaters motivated me more than anything!! The year didn't quite end the way I had hoped it would, but overall I am very happy with how it all turned out! 

So. Thus begins my 2012 journey. I hope that all of my friends find and maintain direction on their chosen paths. It is so easy to get side tracked; the key is finding your way back. Happy Skating!!

EDIT - I am currently registered for Texas Road Rash, Napa Valley, and Northshore. Hope to fit one more in there!