Bye Bye 2012

Well.... Here I am, knee deep in the off season and feeling strangely lost and undefined. I usually have my goals for the next year figured out by now - but I have no idea what I want to accomplish in 2013. I'm struggling with my usual seasonal depression, working out only intermittently and with no clear sense of purpose. When I think of the 2013 skate season - I just feel blank. I've accomplished the goals I set out to accomplish there, so what comes next? Why do I not feel enthusiastic about simply becoming a better skater? I know I have no desire to skate at the pro level, I discovered my boundaries this year and doing what it takes to skate at that level is one of them. I know, I could try to break through those boundaries - but what if I fail? I don't want to experience failure in the one area of my life where I've actually experienced the taste of success! So does that mean playing it safe to keep my feelings from getting hurt? Or do I take that chance? I'm not in the right frame of mind right now to make that choice, so I'll leave it at that.

Overall 2012 was a really good year, and I accomplished everything I set out to do. I skated a race at the pro level. (It was pretty sad; but I still did it.) I skated 4 races (goal was 3). I didn't get my 1:25 marathon time, but only missed it by ONE minute. So close enough! I started running and did 2 mud runs and 2 5K races. (I did not have a time goal - my goal was to simply complete the run without stopping. I succeeded both times.) I did not skate as many miles as I did in 2011, but this was also a transitional year for me. So I am okay with that. Maybe a mileage goal will once again be an important one in 2013 - especially since I finally feel that my Bonts are molded to the point where I can skate comfortably for long distances WITH socks!

I do know one thing is for certain; I need to stop comparing myself to other people. It is okay to let people inspire and motivate me with their accomplishments - but that doesn't mean I should think any less of myself if I am unable (or unwilling) to do what it takes to do what they are doing. I need to remind myself that this is MY journey. If I don't like skating indoors - then that's okay. It's not my thing. I'll hang tight until I can skate outside again. If I don't feel like doing boot camp or spinning or going balls to the wall in the gym 6 days a week - then that's okay too. I have my own fitness path to follow, I'm in a different place at a different pace and I need to be okay with that. I know what I enjoy doing so I need to just focus on doing those things. I think that is definitely a goal for 2013 - being comfortable with who I am and where I'm at. I know for certain that I'm in better shape now than I have ever been before, and that each year I work a little harder and do a little more as I'm pushing through depressive episodes; and that is HUGE. I forget that sometimes when I'm in the moment - I forget that I have made a lot of progress even in just the past 5 years. Compared to the person I was 10 years ago? Forget it... I cannot even relate. So my success comes in these steps that feel really small - but I guess in reality they're pretty big. To ME. I cannot compare my journey to that of someone else.

So that's where I am, 2 days away from a brand new year. I'm pretty sure that when spring is in the air the desire to skate will fill me with that euphoric joy, and a whole new adventure will begin.

Relationship Status: "It's Complicated"

Like most people I know, my relationship with food is complex. One part of my brain fully realizes that food is simply fuel to make my body perform efficiently. The right fuel will create the best possible performance and keep my bones, muscles, and tissues healthy: while the wrong fuel will make me fat, slow, and cause health problems. I know this. It's the emotional and psychological connections to food that trip me up every time. In times of stress or depression I turn to food for comfort and relief. Certain seasons bring a sense of nostalgia and I long to re-create those times with certain foods; the smell of mom's rice meatballs simmering in a rich tomato based stew takes me back to my childhood so fast it makes my head spin. It's a nice place to visit, so I want to go there. My addiction to coffee is also primarily psychological - although I have to come realize that I'm actually addicted to the flavored creamer more so than the actual coffee. 

I've been making gradual changes over the years though. About 2 years ago I made the decision to give up fast food. No more McDonalds, or Burger King, or Wendy's, or Taco Bell. The primary reason with that wasn't just the complete unhealthiness of the food, it was also the quality. I was beginning to understand that cheap, low quality food is just plain nasty. For the most part I also gave up soda; although I would on occasion give into the craving for a Coke or a Mr. Pibb. If I ate out, I would eat someplace like Chipotle - it's a little bit better quality. 

As I've gotten older, my digestive system has gotten a lot more... Sensitive. The acid reflux kicked in about 2 years ago and has been a definite battle. At first I refused to change my diet to accommodate this issue. So a lot of my suffering was more than likely my own fault. A turning point was one night while having a 'movie and finger food night' (finger foods being all of those nasty processed frozen snack foods that you buy from the grocery store. Talk about low quality!) I was eating pepperoni pizza rolls. The next 2 days were pure agony. I have not touched a pizza roll since; and that was a bit of a wake up call. I need to pay attention to what I eat or else I am going to pay for it.

I would do okay for a while; preparing food at home, packing my lunches and avoiding sweets and overly processed foods. But I never took it that one step further (reading labels on things like salad dressing and coffee creamer - two of my favorite things) and I would always fall off the wagon. It would start slow, usually because I would get burned out or lazy. Prepping food is time consuming. Sometimes it's just easier to order a pizza. Or grab a frozen meal out of the freezer. It's mindless. And that's dangerous. 

About 2 weeks ago, I noticed that I was feeling really sluggish and sick, with a complete lack of energy. I was feeling unmotivated and lazy; and I had no desire to exercise. My clothes were fitting tight and I had that awesome thing known as a muffin top.... So I took a look at my diet. Yep. Eating out almost every day, eating convenience foods, sweets, and I was up to 5-6 cups of coffee a DAY - each cup laden with tons of flavored coffee creamer. My body was telling me 'DUDE. This is so NOT COOL' in some rather unpleasant ways. So I listened. And I decided to dedicate myself to clean eating once more. This time, however, I need to take it that extra step further, and I also need to find some new options to shake things up and keep me interested. My primary goal is to cut down on the amount of processed sugar I eat every day. Along with that is the artificial ingredients. I have also opted to give up red meat.

Even though I am one of those weird people who can eat the same thing every day for weeks at a time; even I get bored with my food choices after a while. I've been doing egg whites and fruit for breakfast for years and I was so bored with that. So I've switched to plain Greek yogurt with some organic granola and fresh raspberries. I'm still getting my protein (18 grams) but it also feels like I'm eating something decadent. (After I got used to the lack of flavor and tartness of the plain yogurt that is.) It's a refreshing change. When I do eat my egg whites, I add some fresh spinach and cilantro; that kicked them up a bit. I have not been able to quit the coffee 100% yet, but I am down to one cup a day with minimal creamer. Just until I lose the taste for the creamer. Then I'll switch to half and half or skim milk. (Hopefully. I have NEVER been successful at that.) For now I am happy to be at one cup instead of six.

My second challenge was salad dressing. The good news is that once I have my conscious brain aware of something I'm trying to avoid (high fructose corn syrup for example) as soon as I see that ingredient on a label I feel an aversion to the item and I put it back. Same with partially hydrogenated oil. (I switched coffee creamer brands due to that ingredient.) But salad dressing was a big one. I have a particular brand I like and when I actually read the label I was dismayed to see high fructose corn syrup. So I went on a quest to find a recipe for a salad dressing I can make myself. I found one. I've modified it a bit to suit my own taste (it called for minced garlic but I didn't like that, so now I omit that. It also calls for a teaspoon of white sugar, I added fresh berries for sweetness instead.) It's basically non-fat buttermilk, raspberry balsamic vinegar, some fresh basil and fresh raspberries blended together until smooth. It's fantastic! Hallelujah. 

I still have a lot of things I need to work past. I hate vegetables - so yeah. Major stumbling block. I'm finding ways to sneak them into things (like protein shakes) to hide them, but eventually I want to get to a point where I just eat the damn things. I also despise seafood, so that limits my protein choices a bit. I am giving tofu a try, so far it's been meh. But I won't give up. I have a great recipe for Tilapia that I want to try once I convince my brain that I don't hate fish....

Like any other journey, this one is off to a hesitant start. I'm learning. Modifying. Giving things up in exchange for feeling better. I've already lost 3 pounds and I haven't even been exercising - that is JUST from the diet change. However weight loss isn't my goal here, to be quite honest my primary goal is digestive health. Then overall health. Then fuel for workouts. I want to be healthy and fit. And that begins with fuel. I want to get to a point where I don't say I 'can't' eat that but I 'don't' eat that. I want to find comfort in other things besides cupcakes and Halloween candy. Maybe seeing abs for the first time EVER when I look in the mirror would do the trick...

The Bipolar Hitchhiker

A lot of people tell me that they admire the fact that I am completely open and forthcoming when it comes to the fact that I have a mental illness. I've had negative reactions as well - but tend to not focus on those because when it comes right down to it - I couldn't really give a fuck what people think of me anyway. I am who I am, I am WHAT I am - and part of it is due to the bipolar. I am an unmedicated bipolar 2, which means I lean more towards the depressive cycles with some cycles of hypomania. Hypomania is a 'gentler' ride than full blown mania. For the most part my hypomanic episodes are like frenzied bursts of energy and creativity, and I usually enjoy them. The depressive cycles aren't too bad - usually I just feel quiet and mellow, a lower energy level, an increased sensitivity to the world around me; and a desire to be introspective and introverted. I also have a tendency to rapid cycle; which basically means mood swings. Not fun, but usually brief and bearable. It was not always like this for me though.

In the past I have had a couple of episodes of full blown mania where I probably should have been hospitalized - and had I been properly diagnosed I most certainly would have been. As it were, I rode them out completely alone and completely oblivious. My version of full blown mania is not fun - it's a terrifying mix of paranoia, agitation, and insomnia. I'm grateful that I have managed to get my life to a point where I am able to avoid those types of upswings. The deep, dark depressive cycles have been a much more frequent part of my past, weeks spent sleeping my life away, not eating, not showering; not caring about anything except escaping from my pain. This too - is no longer a part of my cycles. Thankfully... 

I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder in July 2000 and immediately put on Lithium and Zyprexa. I had complete trust and faith that my doctor knew what he was doing, and that he was going to fix me. I was completely shattered at that point - just two years prior I had endured the devastating losses of my brother and my mom. In hindsight, I honestly believe I would have benefited from just TALKING to someone. But as I was quick to learn, psychiatrists LOVE throwing the latest and greatest drugs at desperate people. Within a month I had gained 50 lbs, I had a constant tremor in my hands, I had hallucinations, panic attacks, and nightmares. I had choking fits that started for no reason and lasted until I almost passed out from lack of air. I had hair loss and uncontrollable muscle contractions. In August 2000, I had a full blown meltdown. I was completely unable to drive, work, or even THINK. I knew it was the medications so I begged my doctor to take me off of them and put me on something else. I had been reading about a drug called Lamictal and thought it would work better for me. My doctor accused me of being 'paranoid' and told me to stop researching the medications and just take them. That, my friends, is red flag #1. YOU are the first and foremost advocate for your own health and well being. NEVER just take a drug without doing some research first. 

I struggled for years after that. Going from doctor to doctor, one drug cocktail after another; sacrificing my identity and my humanity to achieve society's version of 'normal'. Instead, I became a dried out husk; a sun-bleached bone with no blood or marrow to nourish my soul. I felt no joy, no sorrow, no happiness; nothing. The list of physical side effects I experienced is endless - to this DAY I still experience some of them (panic attacks and involuntary muscle contractions for example.) In 2006, I decided I'd have enough. I weaned myself off of all medications and embraced the bipolar. I figured if I could not slay the dragon without sacrificing my identity, then maybe I could at least find some way to co-exist with it.

The key to co-existence is stability. As long as my life remains relatively routine and predictable; then so do my cycles. One monkey wrench in the works and I could completely lose my balance. Because I'm not completely stifled by drugs I still cycle -albeit a lot more gently. But the trade-off is that I am completely and fully alive, and in tune with my surroundings. When on an upswing, I experience life at a deeper level. Everything is more vivid; colors, music, foods. I feel like I am submerged in it - not merely existing along side it. I feel a sense of euphoria that 'normal' people take street drugs to experience. When on a downswing I feel quiet. A soft blanket of melancholy envelopes me and keeps me earth bound. I get introspective, and I feel more empathetic and connected to the quiet things. The gentle things. I don't mind it, I just don't like how low my energy level gets. This is when it is hardest for me to maintain any level of physical activity. But I'll take that over being an unfeeling zombie any day.

I have a lot of friends who are Bipolar. We tend to gravitate towards each other. I totally get that many of them do much better on the medications and that is wonderful. The drugs made things so much worse for me though. People with mental illnesses should always explore ALL of their options before settling on one. Vitamin deficiencies, poor nutrition, stress, lack of exercise - these things can exacerbate or even CAUSE symptoms of depression or mania. Pay attention to your body. Sometimes just a minor correction to a hormone or a vitamin can help tremendously! (I found that I leveled out even MORE once I was also correctly diagnosed with hypothyroid and put on Armour thyroid. My hysterectomy also helped.) Like it or not, this little hitchhiker is along for the entire ride that is my life. It makes aspects of  my life a little more challenging sure, but it also makes other aspects a lot richer. I embrace and accept who I am - finally.

Northshore Inline Marathon 2012 - recap!

View of the finish line from our hotel room!

Wow, what an incredible weekend!! We arrived in Duluth just in time for a team photo and packet pick-up, check into the hotel, then back to the expo to work the Ezeefit booth. I had SUCH a blast working the booth!!! It was so much fun to get a chance to talk to so many other skaters. I was using Ezeefit products long before I started skating for them, so it was really easy for me to sell the products. I could not believe how busy the booth was and before it was time for me to head to dinner we had sold out of many items. (The palm sliders are awesome, so are the shorts - two items that sold out quickly!!) and of course, the signature booties. I love mine, I never skate without them. I sincerely hope that everyone who bought items from us had a great race!

After the booth I met up with a group of my friends for dinner. I still cannot get over how pivotal social networking has been as far as connecting with other skaters! For dinner I got to hang out with several people I met through the Endomondo site (Endomondo is a GPS app you can use on your phone, they also have a website where you upload your workouts and connect with other people - sort of like Facebook.) The neatest thing was getting to meet Ed, who traveled all the way from the Netherlands to skate with us. It's one thing to challenge and support each other virtually, quite another to do it in person! It was so wonderful to see everyone over a nice meal. I think the pre-race dinner is one of my favorite parts of any race weekend!

Clockwise fr/ left: Ed, myself, John, Mike, Chris M, Susan, Carla, Pat, Chris L, Scott and Phil!

Of course, I slept like crap. I was so worried that the alarm wouldn't go off or there would be some other catastrophe that would make me miss the race. I was up hours before I needed to be, but at least that allowed  me to get some cool sunrise photos! The day dawned GORGEOUS. Sunny, mild, with a tailwind. Perfect day for a race!!!

 Sunrise from our hotel window!

This year I had the opportunity to ride up to Two Harbors in the luxury of Roger's RV instead of the buses. (I didn't mind riding the bus last year, but one advantage of the RV was the availability of a bathroom!!) It was a nice ride spent chatting with my Ezeefit teammates. We arrived with plenty of time to relax and get a couple of group photos. 

From L to R: Glenn, Matt, Walter, LR, Mechele, Brian, Myself, Roger, Ami, Luis and Billy.

Got Booties??? :)

Before I knew it, it was time to line up at the starting line. I was in Wave B this year, and my plan was to try to stick with Pat and Mike for as long as possible. The mass start was really scary, especially for someone who is used to skating alone. People were all over the place! I lost Pat and Mike about 2 seconds after the start!! The new pavement at the starting line was BEAUTIFUL. I hit my fastest speeds on that portion: I'm sure everyone else did as well!! (I was averaging 20 mph over that first 5 mile stretch!!!) It was over too soon, though, then on to the cobbled, tar snake-streaked pavement. I tried to find a pace line but no one was going at a consistent pace I felt comfortable with. I am a fairly consistent skater, so when I joined a line that went fast/slow/fast/slow with the skaters spreading apart then bumping back into each other - I was out. I don't feel safe or comfortable skating like that. I took off and decided to do my own thing. If I found another line then great; if not - oh well. Eventually I began to overtake skaters who had blazed past me at the starting line. I found a steady, consistent pace and stuck with it. After about 15 miles I figured I'd be doing this one solo and just tried to maintain my pace. I felt very strong, and I was having a blast; so I didn't mind being alone. 

 I found that the grooved section in the tunnels didn't spook me nearly as much this year, and after an initial slow down, I picked up my pace and flew through that portion with no issues. Some lady tried to strike up a conversation with me when I slowed down, but I really hate that... I'll talk your ear off before and after a race; but during the race I am all business. I cannot focus on what I need to do with someone trying to make small talk. Sorry! I pulled away from her and the other people she was skating with and continued onward. 

Up the hill, around the corner and the finish was just ahead! With a sudden burst of energy I sprinted as hard as I could to the finish!! I wanted to finish strong! 

Just crossed the finish line! My official time was 1:26:48!

Meeting up with some of my friends after the race!

My goal for this race was simply to beat my time from last year. This was a transitional year for me, going from  the K2's to the Bonts and all of the struggles that came along with that. I did not feel that I could gauge my growth from the races I did prior to Northshore, because this one is not like the others. It's faster and the field of competition is much broader. My gauge was to be the differences from last year to this year. This year I felt stronger, faster and more technical. I could feel shifts in my form that required correction so I could maintain my pace. I got one blister (pinky toe) probably due to some toe flicking towards the end of the race as I started to fatigue. Over all though, I felt very strong! I managed to place 5th in my age division again, which was really cool!!! There are some strong skaters in my age group and I feel honored to rank up there with the best of them. 

1st place, (Penny Streicher), 4th place (Jamie Jensen) and 5th place (me!!) 

This was a wonderful way to close out my 2012 skate season! I know what I need to work on next year (I really need to find some people to skate with, I need the experience of pack skating!) I also need to work on sprinting (Currently I take about 5-6 miles to warm up and cannot hit my stride right off the start like a lot of other skaters. Main reason I lost Mike & Pat right at the beginning.) I am not sure if this is a bad thing, but it can be a bit frustrating. Of course, my form is an ongoing work in progress. 

I kind of gave up on collecting miles this year in favor of focusing more on skating comfortably and consistently. The new boots were definitely a challenge to get  used to, and the constant tweaking became a normal part of my routine. I can now skate with socks and I feel that the boots and I are bonded, so I should be able to hit the trail rolling next year without having to do anymore tweaking. I definitely need to log some indoor time this winter though - either on ice or inlines. 

Considering all of my issues though, I still managed to have a really successful season! I placed at all four races I skated, and I managed new personal best half and full marathon times. I also made new friends along the way and for me, becoming a part of this close knit skating community has been one of the most rewarding parts of the entire experience!!

10 More Days Until the Northshore Inline Marathon!

The Bonts w/ the 105 87A Mayhems. My new favorite set up!

Ah, the Northshore inline marathon. The biggie. The race that all of the other races have been leading up to. Northshore also marks the end of my 2012 season - it's my last race of the year. (I was going to try to do Houston, but financially it just isn't going to happen.) I am very excited to skate Northshore again - it will be an excellent cap to my skate season...

And what an interesting season this has been... It started out with me so fired up about my new boots; only to discover that there would be a very brutal period of those boots breaking ME in. (They almost broke me PERIOD!) Blood, sweat, tears; weird bony knobs on my feet where there were none before; scars from the boots wearing through the skin, excruciating foot ball pain so intense it gave me nausea, having to re-train my muscles to skate in a lower crouch; moments of feeling like giving up, chucking my skates into a closet, and switching back to the comfortable, reliable K2's....

But I didn't do that. I kept skating. I did 2 full heat molds. I kept skating. I struggled with some anxiety and confidence issues; things I attributed back to not having a heel brake and the fact that I skate on a highly congested bike trail. I'm finally feeling confident again and not so focused on every single possible 'what if' scenario. I'm learning how to stop even at the higher speeds and that has increased my confidence. I'm feeling more comfortable in the boots and that too, has increased my confidence. I tried 105 wheels again and actually had success with them, so I will be training and racing on 105's next year. (I'm doing Northshore on the 105 Mayhems as well.)

Over the past couple of weeks, skating has become fun again. I am extremely aware of my form and when I get tired and start skating sloppy - things start hurting. I have to be diligent. It's like negative reinforcement designed to keep me in good form! But I have relaxed again. I smile a lot when I'm on the trail. I pass a lot of bikes and I get a huge rush out of that. (I especially love it when I draft a bike and the cyclist keeps looking back in disbelief.) Luckily most of the cyclists I encounter are very cool with that and with me - I've had negative experiences in the past with cyclists who do not like skaters. I guess giving them a run for their money earns me some respect or something. Ha!

I've also finally managed to get socks to work - HALLELUJAH! I will say that I so do not like skating barefoot. I sweat way too much. Even though my feet don't have much room to move around, they still felt like they were sliding around and it was disconcerting. The socks keep my feet more stable and that makes me feel like I can dig in more when I push out. I'm waiting on some new socks to try from the Skate Now shop (I'll blog about those once I try them out, I have high expectations of them!) That was the last piece of the puzzle as far as getting me to a point where I feel comfortable and enjoy skating again. I currently skate w/ the ultra thin Ezeefit booties and the dry max ultra thin running socks. I think I can actually go back to the thicker Ezeefits because there is some sloppiness around my ankles. If that makes sense. That is probably due to the heat mold - I did that with the thicker booties as well as a pair of socks. Either way - almost there...

I'm skating Wave B and I'm feeling pretty confident. I'll probably skate 4-5 more times before leaving for Duluth; one more long one (even though I totally have the distance down) and some short ones with a focus on intervals. I've been managing to average 14 mph on my outings - last year my average was 12. My goal for Northshore is to beat my time from last year (1:34). I'll be happy with anything faster than that....

For my skater friends who are going to Duluth - I will see you all in 10 days! Can't wait!! For everyone else - here's hoping my Northshore follow up is all good!

AIDS Walk Colorado - My Story

Tomorrow is the 25th annual AIDS Walk/5k Run, and it will be my 14th AIDS Walk - and the first one I'm actually running. Most people know my story and why I participate in the walk every year, but I felt like sharing it with anyone who didn't know - and for anyone who doesn't know the full story.

In March of 1998, my little brother Mike checked himself into the hospital because he was having trouble breathing. He'd been sick for a couple of months with bronchitis. The doctors diagnosed him with pneumonia, but they had their suspicions about the type of pneumonia. They wanted to test Mike for HIV, but he kept refusing. In the meantime, they were treating him for regular pneumonia. My mom begged Mike to take the test and finally, he relented. It came back positive. The type of pneumonia that Mike had was Pneumocystis pneumonia - or PCP - very common in patients with AIDS. Now the doctors could begin treating him correctly.

I will never forget the first thing Mike said when the diagnosis was shared with us, he asked us if we still loved him. This would be my first example of the stigma attached to the AIDS virus. Of course we still loved him - why would we not? My family rallied around Mike and for six excruciating weeks, we watched the disease ravage his body until he weighed a frail 78 lbs. He had to be put on a ventilator because he could no longer breathe on his own. His beautiful blue eyes, however - remained lively and bright; sparkling with mischief as he flirted with the nurses or joked with us. He was still Mike - a very bright light and one of my dearest friends. I could not even fathom my world without him.

I learned very quickly about how people react to people with AIDS. One nurse refused to touch him unless she was wearing gloves, her face showing how distasteful she found it. I recall confronting her in the hallway, my voice shaking with fury and my eyes bright with tears: that is my BROTHER in there, dammit. Treat him like a HUMAN BEING or don't treat him at all. I never wavered in my love. I never saw my brother as anything other than someone fighting a life threatening illness. I never expected anyone else to see him any differently than that.

On April 14th, 1998, his lung collapsed. It was the third or fourth time it had happened - he already had several chest tubes in from prior incidences. The doctors gently took us aside and suggested that we not put another chest tube in. That we not cause him any more pain. That we accept the inevitable and let him go. As a family, we made the choice to forgo further treatment. They made him comfortable and with all of us surrounding him; my brother passed away. He was 24 years old.

I did my first AIDS Walk that year with my sister and my nieces. I think I raised $125.00. I vowed to do it every year for as long as necessary. I have done it every single year since then - even in 2000 when I was so sick I could barely walk - I walked. Over the years I have learned about families abandoning their loved ones upon learning they had AIDS. I heard of people dying alone in hospitals - without the comfort of family love surrounding them. I had people tell me that they would not donate because it was a 'gay disease'. I had one guy tell me that people with AIDS deserved it.

I wish he could have met my brother, maybe spent an hour or so with him. I'm pretty sure that would have made him think differently. My brother was a trip. He was funny, and vivacious, and brave. He was strong, and loyal, and loving. I do not know how he got AIDS and I honestly don't care; but I do know that he definitely didn't deserve it.

So when I do the AIDS Walk, I don't just do it for him - I do it for every other family out there who has been where mine has been. I do it for the people who are newly diagnosed and struggling to comprehend how different their lives are going to be. I do it for the meal services that provide meals to patients who cannot provide for themselves. I do it to cover medication costs for patients who cannot pay for their medication. I do it for the families who participate in the walk with t-shirts and signs with photos of people they've loved and lost. I do it because I hope that one day I won't have to. AIDS doesn't discriminate - it can happen to anyone. And if I can help prevent even just one family from going through the heartbreak that mine has, then that is a major victory.

This is my brother Mike. He was an awesome human being; and he died from AIDS. I miss him every single day. Tomorrow I will run my very first 5K for him. To keep his memory alive. I love you bro-bean.

Northshore Bound and other cool news!

Skating Northshore - 2011

Well, true to form, things are looking up again! I knew I just had to ride out the crappy stuff to get back to the good stuff. On the health front, things are much better, I have no major concerns so I can stop being so focused on it. I felt a weight lifted off of my shoulders just by hearing the doctor say 'all good - don't need to see you again for a year...' After my appointment I decided to play hooky and went skating! I'm feeling like I've lost a bit of conditioning but I don't think it'll take that long to build it back up again. I skated 20 miles on Tuesday, my feet felt great until I started getting tired. I was very aware of the correlation between feeling tired/form going to crap/feet starting to hurt. Noted. I have the pinching, binding, and painful areas of the boots finally adjusted, I've got the frames adjusted - now I just need to maintain good form all the way through and my feet should be fine! Yesterday I skated 15.6 miles and felt really strong. It was so nice to finish a skate feeling happy and exhilarated again! I've missed that. It makes me want to get out again...

Another huge incentive for my improved mood is a sponsorship by Ezeefit! Ezeefit makes the booties that SAVED my feet last year and continue to do so this year. I am proud and honored to skate for a company that makes a product I truly believe in!! I'm excited to get a set of the palm slider gloves too - a must have for sure!! They also have jerseys, shorts, leg/arm warmers and rain boot covers - you just never know when you'll need them... We are an off-shoot of the original team, as most of us are new to the sport. I'm very excited to skate for a team, the team is comprised of Billy (who I met after Northshore last year) Brian (who I skated with at Napa) and Ami (who I will be meeting in Duluth!!) We are all pretty stoked about this!! It has completely reinvigorated me. I am very appreciative of Glenn for seeing something in me that made him feel that I deserved this. ( still feel like a baby fawn trying to hobble across a frozen lake most days when I skate!)

The Northshore inline marathon is about 1 1/2 months away and I'm so excited to do that one again! Such a fun race!! I'm back in training mode, I think I will set my goal for 1:30 - I still do not feel 100% confident on the Bonts and it makes me a bit cautious. If I am completely comfortable by September maybe I'll change that number but for now, I feel that I can come close to it. I cannot wait to see all of my skate friends again!!!

..... As I skated along my trail last night, enjoying the warm summer evening and feeling completely at peace; my mind went back to the way I felt at my very first skating event last year - the Minnesota half marathon. The way my heart just lifted at the sight of so many other skaters - after skating solo for so long and feeling like an endangered species. The connection I felt with total strangers as we lined up, the camaraderie and support received while skating; the joy and feeling of accomplishment upon crossing the finish line. I will admit, I am one of those people who craves a sense of belonging; I love being a part of something big - something special. Feeling like I am a part of this amazing skate community is really important to me. I make more and more friends after each event, and I love that! I love watching my friends grow and excel at the sport, I feel pride and excitement at their successes; I feel honored to be a part of their journey. I am not alone with my passion anymore, and it has truly changed my life.



Trying to Get Back on Track

First of all, Napa Valley was awesome! I skated hard and didn't hold back - I left it all out on that crazy, hilly course. When I was done, my legs were shaking so bad I had to just sort of stand still for a minute so I didn't lose my balance! That was MUCH better than the way I felt when I finished Apostle (like I still had a few miles left in me!) At first I was a bit disappointed in my time (1:40:51) because that seemed really slow. I skated Texas in 1:40:42, and that was 28 miles! I am guessing the slower time was because Napa was a very hilly course and some of those uphills were pretty brutal. When I was skating the course I guess I wasn't really aware of that - I was focused on maintaining a brisk pace and hoping I wouldn't end up skating alone.

Leading a pace line!!!

I started out in one pace line, then moved to a faster one - we started pretty strong but then ended up w/ just four of us. After the first full lap two of them dropped the line since they were skating the half. That left me and my friend Rich. We finished together, it definitely helped to take turns pulling even with just two of us. Also helped with the motivation. I was pretty excited to finish first in my age group!

Me and Rich

Sprinting towards the finish line!

Podium!!

The really great news is that I didn't have many foot issues! No foot-ball pain, no knee pain; no raw, torn up heels. I was SO HAPPY. (The only issue I had - and STILL have - is the pressure spot on my left inner ankle.) We had done a full heat mold the night before we left for CA - building out my problem areas w/ some gauze and tape. That seemed to help a lot as far as the toe box goes. I cannot figure out how to correct the pressure point on my ankle though.

For all intents and purposes, it looks like I'm having a really great season. I've placed in all 3 races I've done this year; 2nd twice and 1st at Napa. I have one more race (Northshore in September) then I'm done with races for this year. But instead of being completely jazzed by my successes and totally focused on training for Duluth; I'm having some issues that are distracting me. I have acid reflux REALLY BAD. It's not triggered by the foods I eat (I eat relatively clean) - I have a hiatal hernia along w/ a few other nasty issues. I also had an abnormal mammogram - not sure if what they found is cause for alarm but I am doing a follow up ultrasound on Tuesday with a possible biopsy of a lymph node in my armpit. I'll know more then if I need to be concerned about that issue. In the meantime, these two health issues along with extreme job stress have really affected my overall outlook and mood; the reflux makes me feel sick - not to mention it kills my appetite - so I don't eat enough to support my workouts. I feel very lethargic so then I don't workout; which in turn makes me feel even more frustrated and depressed. I have a follow up for that next month, I am worried about what my options will be.

I try so hard to take care of myself (through diet, exercise, etc) but some things are just out of my hands. Blame it on faulty genes but I guess I can't fix everything through clean eating, working out, and staying positive. I'm trying to remain upbeat but I just feel so tired. I feel like I've lost my passion, and it's all I can do just to get through each day. I still have a few things going on as far as the skating itself goes; but I'm tired of complaining about my foot issues, and still trying to figure out the fear issue. I can't tell if the fear stems from a fear of crashing, or not being able to stop quickly - or a combination of those two things. Either way, I am a very fearful skater right now. Could just be the lack of energy but who knows. I just hope I finish out this season with a strong race and hopefully some resolution. I just want to be strong and healthy. I just want to be passionate and upbeat. I just want to participate in my life to the absolute fullest - without constantly being derailed. I guess it's about the journey and not the destination - and this is just part of my journey. I sincerely hope my next entry is much,  much more positive!

Napa Valley bound!

After majorly falling off the workout wagon - I didn't work out the week prior to Apostle, the week after Apostle; or last week - (I did one painful 25 mile skate, a 6 mile bike ride, a few short walks and that's about it) - I think I'm getting back on track. I guess I hit some sort of plateau or something; or I just got burned out - with a little post-race letdown thrown in there for good measure. The key is to get BACK on the wagon and not get too used to being a lazy bum... That is where I am at right now.

I skated yesterday, for the first time since my disastrous outing last weekend. I did a full heat mold on my skates Friday night and that seemed to help a bit. I am thinking I'll do one more full mold and try to press the two pressure points on the ankles out some. I skated just over 27 miles without any major pain in the toe box area; I just had some issues w/ my left inner ankle and just a touch on the right outer ankle. I will do one more heat mold tonight focusing on those areas and then [hopefully] skate 2 more outings before Napa. The weather here has NOT been skate-friendly; it's either blazing triple-digit hot; or violent thunder storms.... I should at least get in a 10-15 mile skate on Wednesday morning, since it's the 4th of July and I'll be off work.

So if you've been following my blog for any length of time, you've probably figured out that I tend to share - a LOT. Blogging is therapeutic for me, and I also hope that following my journey might help any other skaters with theirs. If you hit a wall, or experience a set-back - you're not alone. I thought I was alone with my custom boot issues but I've discovered that I'm not. It's a bit disheartening, the whole reason I sprung for customs was so that I WOULDN'T have to tweak then nine ways from Sunday to get them to fit. I don't understand why I have to. It's frustrating as hell but I am determined to figure out a way for my boots and I to skate in harmony. I refuse to give up.

The Napa Valley inline marathon is exactly one week from today; and I have set a time goal just to keep me from dogging it. Don't get me wrong, dogging it was kind of a nice change of pace in Apostle; but I do need to push myself. My time goal is 1:35 - hopefully that is realistic without having any idea what the course is like. Having that number in the back of my mind should help keep me from getting too lazy along the way. I'm really looking forward to the weekend, we have a lot of really fun things planned! The race will only be part of the whole package. I'm really excited!

It's so funny, the only time I ever traveled prior to participating in the inline marathons was to visit family. We never really went anywhere. I love that I get to see new places and make new friends. That is as much fun to me as the skating! I will be skating with a whole new group of skaters in California and I cannot wait to meet them. I know that this event is smaller, and there is a good chance I'll be doing a lot of the race solo. I think I would rather do that than get in a slow paceline. Just my feeling. I know that many of my skater friends would disagree. But by tagging along in a slow paceline in Apostle, I dogged it. Big time. *shrug*. Every race is a learning experience. I just don't want to repeat the mistakes I made in Texas or at Apostle. Learn and grow... But first things first - get these damn boots to stop hurting me!

Venty blog with a triple shot of waaah.

I had a bad skate yesterday. I feel like whining. If you do not wish to 'hear' me whine, I suggest you stop reading right now.

I took 2 weeks off from working out - the week before Apostle and the week after. I did nothing. I am not sure why; I just didn't feel like doing anything. Yesterday was day one back on the horse: I put a fresh set of Street Fight wheels on my skates and headed out early to knock out a few miles. My plan was to play it by ear, skate distance based on how I felt. (We reached 104 degrees yesterday, so it was already pretty hot by the time I hit the trail...)

At first I took it easy because I didn't feel right. My legs were shaky and I felt weak. I focused on keeping a mellow, steady pace and tried to push through it. (My guess was that I didn't eat a sufficient breakfast...) I was skating with a water bottle full of coconut water (thanks to my friend Pat for that idea) and a small bottle of Gatorade. I also had a GU packet. On hot days I tend to go through my fluids pretty quickly, so I also use fluid levels as a gauge of when to turn around...

I passed a few bikes, had a pair of bikes behind me for a couple of miles and when they finally caught up to me the first guy informed me of my mph (18) and the second guy said he'd never seen anyone skate that fast... That was a total ego boost, I love it when cyclists say things like that. Personally I felt like I was slugging along slow as molasses so that was nice to hear. At this point I'm noticing a slight tingling in my feet but nothing that would indicate an issue. My legs in general don't feel 100% but I attributed this to a week of being a couch potato.

I turned around at about 12.5 miles. It was starting to get really hot, my fluids were getting low, and my heart wasn't in it. My body felt off. I started trekking back. At about mile 9 - my right foot decided it was not happy. I felt pressure on the 3rd and 4th toes and the ball of my foot started tingling like it was being attacked by a pissed off hoard of bees on a stinging spree. It sucked the breath right out of me. I debated stopping and taking the boot off, but I just wanted to get back to my truck. I just wanted to be DONE.

I tried all of the usual stuff - pushing my heels back, no toe flicking, and my form stayed pretty solid. I can tell when my form goes to hell because I tear up the backs of my heels. My heels felt fine. My form wasn't the issue. I counted down the miles... 4 more to go.... 3 more to go... With just over 2 miles left, I fell in behind a cyclist who was going kind of slow and stayed behind him. It was a good distraction and he didn't seem to mind. When we reached the round-about he turned off then looked back to see which was I was going. I was continuing on with just over one mile left. He gave me a wave, I waved back and continued on. One. More. Mile.

The last portion of my trail is really pretty. There are two lakes and the trail runs right between them. I usually enjoy the view, watch the birds, look at the mountains, and use that portion as my cool down. Not today. I just wanted it to be over. I came around the corner and all of a sudden it was gusty winds in my face. I couldn't help myself, I yelled 'really??' - at no one in particular... At this point my foot is on fire. My stomach is clenched with it and tears are pouring down my face. Stubbornly I push on, because I can SEE my truck. I'm ALMOST there. I want to throw up. I want to take my skates off and walk the rest of the way. I want it to be over.

I limped to my truck. I carefully removed my skates. My feet are swollen and painful - but my heels are perfect. No blisters, no hot spots. My form was fine. I ice my right foot and chug my recovery drink. I don't feel euphoric. I feel tired. Dejected. Disappointed. I hate my skates. I hate skating. I hate myself for feeling that way. I have a knot in the bottom of my right foot and it's tingling like crazy. Thankfully my left foot wasn't as bad. I head home...

My mind is racing with negativity. I review my past two races this year and realize that I'm not skating any faster than I did last year - in fact, I'm skating SLOWER! My mph average at the Minnesota half marathon (my first event) was 16.6 mph. At Northshore I averaged 17.2!! Both events skated on my K2's... This year skating on the Bonts: in Texas I averaged 16.5 mph and at Apostle I was at 16.1 mph.... That doesn't seem right. Is it me? Is it the skates?? What am I doing wrong?

I have a mantra imprinted in my brain that I have been trying to ignore and let go of. It goes 'some people are never meant to be any better than they are' - meaning that you hit a certain level and that's it: that's as far as you go. You don't break that barrier, you don't move forward. You have reached your potential, and even if it's not what you want and you think you should be better - that's it. That's as far as you go. I've been an underachiever my entire life; this mantra is ingrained. I hate it. I cannot figure out how to progress.

I sulked the rest of the day yesterday, but today is a new day. I'm going to throw my Bonts in the oven and do a full heat mold WITH socks on. I'm going to get out and skate tomorrow. I'm going to continue forward - no matter how reluctant I feel. I think I will take my friend Tom's advice and break out the K2's again for a change of pace. I'll skate Napa Valley on the Bonts but I think I need to put an expectation on myself. I need to have something to shoot for besides simply skating without pain....

Apostle Islands Inline Marathon - recap!

Lining up at Apostle

Wow, what a great weekend!!! I flew into Minneapolis on Thursday night; spent the night with my friend Susan, and started the journey to Bayfield, WI on Friday morning. We drove up through WI and it was a very enjoyable drive! We stopped in Ashland to pick up my packet and arrived in Bayfield around 4:30. We met up with some of my skater friends for dinner then headed down to the dock for some sunset photos. Got to bed around 10:30.

I didn't sleep very well but when the alarm went off I was up and at it! Got to the ferry dock by 6:30 and headed over to Madeline Island. The day could not have dawned any better - it was clear, and comfortable and sunny! I would get to skate the course on the Mayhems!

I didn't do anything I told myself I would do when I got there... I didn't put my headphones on. I didn't focus. I didn't take a jog - I dinked around and chatted with other skaters, stretched a little, put on my skates and got a quick little warm up. But since I had absolutely NO goals for this race, I felt completely relaxed. I had the pre-race butterflies but none of the anxiety I had in Texas. My plan was to take it easy, especially on the first lap around the course. Get warmed up, get a feel for it, and see how my feet/legs were going to hold out.

They lined the open fitness/rec women up separate from the men; I ended up next to a gal named Connie (she's on the left in the photo at the very top.) She was super friendly. She asked me what my average is, I told her around 16 so she said to try to stick with her. When we started off, I quickly fell in behind her and eventually a pace line formed. I think my first mistake was letting people in front of me so suddenly I was at the back of the pack. The guy in front of me had his feet all over the place so I gave him some extra space.

We were cruising along at a comfortable pace, I felt good and was enjoying myself. This course has a few hard right hand turns; two particularly nasty ones. When we came up on the first one, the entire line fell apart. It was like every man/woman for themselves ALL OVER THE PLACE and they all started braking! I PANICKED. I thought the line was supposed to go through the turn as a LINE - get low and ride it through. I somehow managed to round the corner without taking anyone out, and the line re-formed. I was pretty shaken up! Then we came up to the SECOND hard right - SAME DAMN THING, only this time I almost crashed into the guy in front of me. I was thinking WTF are you people doing??? I was really shaken up after that, had an adrenaline rush so strong my legs were trembling!! I dropped back and out of that line and pretty soon another one came along so I tagged up with them.

I rounded the first lap and glanced at the time: 35 minutes. Continued w/ the paceline I was in. They were chatty and casual, and I just hung in the back (I need to stop doing that...) Anyway, we started coming up to that first turn again and I felt myself clench up and drop back. They went through it more uniformly and I relaxed. Same with the second turn. I finished out the second lap still tagging at the back of the line. Clock read an hour and nine minutes. Hmmm.

About halfway around the third and final lap, I decided the pack was too slow. I had plenty of juice and wanted to finish strong. So I kicked out and took off on my own. I was having NO foot pain, or joint/ligament/tendon pain; my muscles felt good so I figured I could at least finish strong. I rounded the corner and crossed the finish line. I have a couple of blurry photos of myself but I'm very happy to see that I'm down pretty low - so I'm finally starting to get that down at least!

Coming around on my first lap.



 Sprinting towards the finish line.

My official time was 1:37:25.0, I placed 2/8 in my age division, 5/59 overall women and 153/317 overall skaters. I was actually very surprised and very pleased with my placement; especially considering that I didn't feel as if I pushed myself as hard as I could have! I had a wonderful time meeting new skaters and spending time w/ my friends.

I made a lot of mistakes in Texas, and that race actually made me re-evaluate a lot of things in the weeks that followed. I know that skating Texas at the pro master's level made me put a lot of pressure and expectation upon myself. I did not like how I felt prior to that race, nor how I felt when it was over. I started too hard too fast and ended up straining my MCL, which in turn made my form go to crap - which caused me to tear up my ankles and feel frustration. I don't care about how I placed at that race, I didn't FEEL like I skated a good race. I didn't have as much fun as I usually do. I forgot that skating is supposed to be fun. I had fun at Apostle. I had no pressure, no expectations and no disappointment. The main mistake I made at Apostle was how I skated in the pace lines. Of course, I wasn't the only one making mistakes there otherwise our line would've taken those right hand turns as a fluid line instead of a free for all of flailing arms and legs and brakes!! I do need to work on being comfortable skating with other skaters, it's just so hard to do as skater who trains solo....

I did get a chance to meet a few of the skaters from the Speed Weasles in Ft. Collins - what a friendly bunch of skaters. Maybe I'll make the trek up north so I can skate with them!!!

All and all, Apostle was a fantastic experience. I had a blast! Next up - Napa Valley on July 8th!!!

The dock in Bayfield 6/14/12. Stunning.

Countdown to Apostle

The countdown has begun for my weekend in Wisconsin! (35 more days!) I'm looking forward to so much more than just the marathon (which will definitely be the highlight) - I LOVE visiting new places and I can't wait to see all of my skate buddies! I will be flying into Minneapolis on June 14th, then driving up to Bayfield with my friend Susan Friday morning. We got a hotel there and I was assured that we have a patio with a view of the lake and the flower garden. That sounds heavenly...We'll be staying there Friday and Saturday nights, then we'll head straight to the airport on Sunday morning. I'm really looking forward to spending time with Susan and doing some sight-seeing, as well as skating the marathon. This area seems like it's very beautiful so this should be an overall fabulous mini vacation!

As far as the actual marathon goes; my goal is pretty simple. I'd actually like to be able to skate this one without any pain... I have no time goal (because if it rains, time goals are out the window anyway...) I just want to enjoy skating this historically smooth course without any pain... I got some ideas on ways to warm-up prior to skating the distance that should help with the muscle pain I experienced in Texas - but the foot pain is a whole other issue...

Ah yes. The foot pain. Skating with pain has become the norm and I am very displeased. I have pain in the balls of my feet, across the tops of my toes; the inner left ankle bone and the outer right ankle bone. (The ankle area is not a hot spot or blistered; I actually have bone bruises and swelling; but the skin is fine.) I tweaked the position of the frames and that helped alleviate the ankle bone pain a bit, but it seems like every time we spot mold a problem area, it creates a new one. Kind of like if we stretch the toe area up; it pulls the sides in. So I get relief from the boot pressing down on my toes; but then it's pinching them from the sides or pressing against the tips of my toes. It's like I can't win. I thought I had them to the point of being able to wear a hyper thin sock with the ultra thin booties; I skated just over 25 miles last weekend and the last 7 miles were pure agony. The balls of my feet felt like they were on fire, it was so intense it made me nauseous! I had to stop and take the socks off, stretch my feet - then finish up the last 4 miles. By the time I got back to my truck I was exhausted, angry and ready to chuck my skates into the bushes. It's like the last 7 miles of hell COMPLETELY negated the first 18 miles that I actually enjoyed! I knew there would be an adjustment period but I didn't expect it to be like THIS.

So I'm back to the regular booties, no socks. I skated 19.5 miles on Thursday and it was a little bit better, but I still  had pain and blisters on my toes. Debbie suggested I mark the problem areas with tape and ship my boots to her so she can stretch them; I plan on doing that today. If I can't get back actually ENJOYING skating again, then what's the point? If I dread it because I know it's going to hurt, then that completely takes away the joy. And I don't want that - that's the whole reason why I skate in the first place. I always start out feeling great, skating smooth and fast, having fun - then the pain starts and I end my outings feeling drained and frustrated. I'm so over it.

Aside from that, I've been working out really, really hard. Weight training and cardio - working on getting fit. I'm taking a very gentle recovery week next week; my legs have been a bit sore and not just from the skating. My intention is no impact, no weights. Just 7 days of  yoga, swimming, and core work. No running, no skating, no weight training. My hope is that this will give my legs a break, give Debbie time to fix my boots, and refresh and revitalize my mind so I can go into the following week stoked and ready to get back to the hard-core training. My main time goal is for Northshore anyway, so Apostle and Napa are more for the fun of it. And I really, really want it to be fun again. Please keep your fingers crossed, this portion of my journey has been a bit rough!!!

Review - The Bont Mayhem Wheel

When Alex Bont sent me an email and asked me if I'd like to try out the new Mayhem wheels & write a review; I was pretty tickled. I was also a little confused because I'm pretty new to this sport and not exactly an expert on wheels. I don't know what the different hardness ratings mean, I don't know what wheels were designed for what surfaces; and don't I really care to know. I can't tell the difference between hubs, I don't pay attention to how long it takes for my wheels to wear out (I just chuck them and buy new ones) and I don't care how much they weigh. I get a recommendation for a wheel, I try them out; and either I like them or I don't. But if you are interested in any of the above mentioned items, I did read a very comprehensive review detailing the authors experiences with these things; http://www.inlineskatempls.com/?p=4143  - it is written from a male point of view skating on 110's with all of the technical specs; I am a relatively light female skating on 100's who doesn't give a crap about the technical stuff, so here is my review.

First off I had some trouble seating the bearings; I skate on Bones Swiss 608's. So at first when I put them on my skates, they wouldn't roll. I got some advice on seating the bearings, that worked like a charm and they rolled for days. My experience with Bont wheels up until this point hasn't been all that great so I was a little skeptical; but also excited. I love trying out new wheels.

I skate on a very smooth concrete trail. The above review stated that these wheels were better suited for rough surfaces, such as asphalt, because the author felt 'sluggish' on the smoother surfaces - but based on my experience I have to disagree. These wheels are wicked fast and wicked fun and I had the best skate so far this season! I turned around just past the 10 mile point; and discovered that I had skated 10+ miles in 33 minutes. This is unbelievably fast for me! Unfortunately on my return trip I had 25 mph winds in my face the entire time so my speed faltered considerably. I still managed to complete 20.83 miles in an hour and 15 minutes; my mph average was 16.52. That is faster than I've EVER averaged on the trail. I can only imagine how quick the entire skate would have been had the wind not been such a major factor!

So bottom line is that I have a new favorite wheel! I think these wheels would work just fine at Apostle - noted for having a smooth as glass skating surface. I think that they feed my speed demon more than adequately and feel they are well worth the price. (Almost 20 bucks a piece.) I can't wait to get out on them again and sincerely hope the wind does NOT interfere next time....

Texas Road Rash!

Wow what a weekend! We got into Austin around 2 on Saturday, picked up the rental car, grabbed some lunch; then made it in time to watch the elimination races. I got a chance to catch up with some of my A2A friends and then finally got to meet a couple of my Endomondo friends!! We had dinner with them and then it was lights out.

Sunday dawned crisp and beautiful; not a cloud in the sky. We headed down to the stadium so I could get my skates on and warm up. I was feeling really nervous! (So nervous I forgot my number and Allen had to run back to the hotel to get it for me!) Got my skates on, took a few laps around the parking lot and then it was time to line up. 

I have to admit, I felt weird lining up with the pros. I had no idea how many pro master women there were, in fact- I didn't see very many women at ALL. I went to the back of the group with minor illusions of being able to keep up with them. Ah, no. They dropped me and 2 other women at the very first hill!! I later found out that the 3 of us were pro master women - and that there were only 3 of us: Renee, Carol and  myself. Renee and I played tag for a while but eventually she got out ahead of me and finished a good 40 seconds before I did. 

As for me, I felt pretty good at first, but I could not seem to find a pace line that I could stick with. Also, the course was a little more hilly than I'd expected! My favorite part of the course was when we got out of the park and went along N Co road 122. That part was super fun. My least favorite portion was along E Palm Valley road (as we were on a bumpy shoulder alongside traffic.) the tar snakes inside of the park kept spooking me too; I tried to avoid them thinking they would be gooey like the ones in Duluth. (I had no issues with them.) I also saw no fire ants or armadillos. Good on the fire ants, bummed about the armadillos.

On the 3rd trip around the course, I began having some pain in my left leg on inside just below my knee. It was a nagging ache: not a sharp pain like something had suddenly pulled or strained. I think coddling that made me start skating sloppy because not too long after that started up, those areas on the backs of my heels started burning. I'll admit, the pain made me almost consider quitting with only 2 laps left to go. But I didn't want to quit so I ignored it and tried to keep going - I'll tell you, I was keeping track of each lap SO ready to celebrate the last one...

I ended up skating a lot by myself, but eventually fell in with my friend Mike for the last 4-5 laps. I skated with Mike in Duluth and I like skating with him: he has a strong, steady stride and keeps a really good pace. I finished with a respectable time of 1:40:49.28, (my goal was 1:45) and I finished with my buddy Mike. I placed 2nd in the pro master women's division but I felt bad because Carol had skate issues and I know she's a strong skater! Another bummer is that they were having timing issues so they didn't do the awards ceremony. I was REALLY looking forward to being on the podium! (Oh, the coveted cheese grater trophy... They're sending them to us in the mail...)

There was also a point where I was in a pace line with 3 of my Endomondo friends and that made me feel so happy!! Connecting online and then actually getting the chance to skate with them... Unreal. It was very, very cool!

I think this is lap 4...

My heels are torn up and that area on my left leg is still very stiff and painful. I'm going to baby it for a few days to let it heal - whatever it is. I have no idea what I did... Probably didn't stretch enough or something. Very frustrating... I'm sure that slowed me down a bit because I was VERY aware of it for the remainder of the race... I also once again have two raw spots on the back of each heel; those too need time to mend... 

I accomplished my goal of skating one race at the pro master's level, so for my remaining 2012 races I'll skate the open/advanced divisions. I still have a LOT to learn and a lot more skill to acquire but I think I'm continuing to grow and become faster and  more efficient. It's a process and I am totally in for the long haul!

Me and Mike coming up on the finish line.