And so it begins....

So today I registered for the Apostle Inline Marathon - scheduled for June 15th, 2013; it will be my first race of the year and I am very excited for it. I must admit, I am very excited to be very excited about racing again; because I really haven't been all that jazzed about skating at all this year. Here it is, the middle of April - and I've only got about 25 miles under my belt. But there are a couple of reasons for this: the main one being that currently my focus is on running. I'm 5 weeks away from running my first half marathon and I have been training really hard. The second one being the weather... It's been super crappy! 

So the main reason I took up running was to have SOMETHING to bridge the gap between seasons so I wouldn't lose my conditioning. I was really sick of losing motivation from November - February, gaining a ton of weight during the holiday season; then spending the first part of the year rebuilding my endurance and losing an extra 7-10 lbs! I was hoping to hit the trail at the beginning of the season with a very minor adjustment period and I felt that running would be perfect for that. In my mind - running was the logical choice because even if I couldn't run outside; I could always run on the treadmill. I'm happy to say that this was the first winter in history where I consistently worked out and didn't gain any weight. I also discovered that I love running! Who ever would have guessed? The half marathon training is very structured and I love it: I run 4x per week with one long run every Saturday; I've been progressively building up my miles with my longest distance to date being 10 miles! I also do a full body workout 2x per week where I focus on core and legs. I honestly believe that my skating will improve due to this regime as well!

March is usually the beginning of my season, so on March 3rd I had my first skate of the year - and it was a disaster! Trail conditions were crap (twigs, rocks, gravel, puddles of water; and a ton of traffic; people running, walking, strollers, bikes, dogs, etc;....) I skated 11 miles and averaged 11 mph and felt nothing but frustration... Last Friday however, I packed up my skates for an after work skate (that I was DREADING - by the way) and had a magical season beginning outing. The trail was practically deserted, it was overcast but comfortable; and the wind was coming out of the north east so it didn't impact my skating at all. I hit the trail and skated 14 glorious miles... I kept all of my laps around or under 4.5 min/mile (usually first skate outings are around 5+ min/mile) for a 14 mph average (which is where I usually am by mid-season) and felt really strong. My endurance was there, I didn't feel any weakness or pain in my ankles; but best of all, I had fun and enjoyed myself. It reignited my desire to skate! 

My hardcore skate training is on hold for now, but I'm very happy to see that running has helped my skating as anticipated. My plan is to try to skate at least 2x a week while training for my half marathon. My half is on May 19th, so that will give me just about a month to prepare for Apostle. (After the half I will switch gears and start skating 3-4x per week.) I hope to take another thing I've learned from running and apply it to skating - and that is to not compare myself to other skaters. In order for me to be successful with running, I have had to temper my competitive nature down - to where I am only competing with who I was the day before. I am in my own place going at my own pace, and there is nothing wrong with that. With skating, I let too much pressure get to me - real or imagined - and it took a lot of the fun out of it for me. My goals for skating are really different this year, I hope by relaxing and just having fun with it I will naturally progress. During the course of the 2012 skate season I discovered my personal limitations and now I have finally accepted them. 

So far I'm set for 3 races this year; Apostle, The Minnesota Half, and Northshore. I may try to fit another one in there if I can. I am super excited for Minnesota Half because I registered for the duathlon (skate 13.2 miles then change into sneakers and run 2.8 miles.) I hope to do really well at that one - one race where I get to indulge in both of my loves. :)

So that is where I am right now. Perfectly happy to report that I have dual devotion to two sports and I feel like I've become a better athlete because of it. 

A funny thing happened on the way to 2013...

So, I have been trying to come up with skating goals for 2013 - and I haven't been able to come up with anything. I finally figured out that it's because I have accomplished everything I set out to do with skating. I skated my first half marathon (Minnesota half, 2011). I skated my first full marathon (Northshore, 2011). I skated a race at the pro level (Texas Road Rash/Pro Master women; 2012). I skated over 1000 miles in a year (1380 in 2011, and 1165 in 2012.) I skated a marathon in under 90 minutes (Northshore, 2012 - 1:26). Along the way on this journey, I learned that I have no desire to skate at the pro level for several reasons; the main one being that I don't have the drive necessary to commit to the training. Second, I put too much pressure on myself, which totally takes the fun out of skating; and third - I've discovered that I'm actually kind of a wuss. I like to skate fast; but not TOO fast. I found my limits and I am comfortable with them. I realized that with skating, I am now at the maintenance level. This is totally cool - it actually makes me feel pretty excited for 2013 because I intend to have fun with it, with no pressure to perform at any certain level. I want to skate 2-4 races, and I will approach them seriously with every intention of skating as hard and as fast as I can. But I already know I can do this - so it's not really a goal. When I started this whole skating thing, my primary intention was to see how far I could go with it before it went from feeling like playtime to feeling like work. I hit that barrier and now I'm backing off from it. I never, ever wanted skating to feel like work. It's supposed to be my happy place, and last year I shed way too many tears over it. This year it's all about having fun.

Which brings me to now. Last year I started running for cross training. I was completing my weight workouts in about 30-40 minutes; but wanted to be spending at least 60-70 minutes at the gym. So I began doing 25-35 minutes of cardio prior to lifting weights. First it was walking, then running; mixed with the elliptical and the exercise bike. The more I ran, the more I began to actually like it. The first time I ran outside, I knew I had found something that had the potential to be an addiction. At the time however, I was transitioning into the 2012 skate season, so as soon as March/April hit - my primarily focus was skating. I was still running every once in awhile (and actually ran my first 5K in August) but my passion was skating. Once skate season started winding down (and I once again found myself dreading the winter 'off' season), I had the bright idea of setting some running goals to help get me through it. I have absolutely no desire to skate indoors, so I needed SOMETHING to keep me motivated. I'm pretty tired of the cycle of being active spring/summer/fall then turning into a sloth during the winter. I want to maintain throughout the year. Of course I have the added burden of depressive cycles pulling me down but dammit, I am determined to find a way to work through them! So, even with a coating of seasonal depression dragging me down; I ran my second 5K on Thanksgiving. That was a turning point for me. I ran it slow, but I ran it steady, without stopping. The euphoria I felt when I crossed the finish line was like a drug. I want to experience that again. Originally my goal was to do one 5K per month; but I have been running a 5K as my weight training warm ups. That didn't seem challenging enough. So I started thinking on it, and that's when the seeds started to take root and my fitness goals for 2013 emerged.... I am going to run a 7K, a 10K and a half marathon. The half marathon is on May 19th.

The really interesting thing is that when I shared this with everyone, some of my skate friends were pretty hard on me. This confused and disheartened me. I am not abandoning the sport. I love skating! I don't intend to take it to the next level, so why should I have to be aligned to just skating? Why can't I do both? - Or hell, what if I decide I want to cycle too? Or hike? Or anything else? Isn't the fact that I'm challenging myself and doing ANY type of physical activity positive and encouraging? You know, I have never been an athlete. NEVER. I flunked gym class every year and was taking a freshman gym class as a senior. I had to beg the teacher for a D- so I could graduate. I was on the girls basketball team in 8th grade for 2 games. (I sucked.) I tried to run track in 9th grade - I was out there for one day and the coach (not so kindly) suggested that track is probably not the thing for me.

I have always wanted to be an athlete, but I lacked the mental part of it: and it IS mostly mental. In fact, I remember watching Vision Quest back in 1985, and there's Louden Swain; out running in his little silver suit while Journey sings 'Only The Young'  -- and I wanted to BE Louden Swain. I made a cassette tape with that song and a few other fist pumping anthems, popped it into my Walkman; and went out for a run. It was probably about a 2 minute run - but I did it. Unfortunately, I lacked the wisdom to realize that I wouldn't be able to hit the street and BE Louden in one day. I didn't know that if I had stuck with it, 2 minutes would've stretched to 20, then 30; and beyond. I only saw how I did on that first attempt, and I gave up. And that became the theme for my life; until a couple of years ago - when I really picked up the skating. Skating has given me the confidence I needed to expand my horizons. But where skating is my playtime and makes me feel like a little kid: all happy and carefree - running clears my head and soothes my soul. When I'm running, I find the rhythmic cadence of my foot falls and breathing to be extremely calming. I feel serene. It's beautiful. When I'm done and covered in sweat; my head is clear and my body is spent: I feel accomplished. This feeling is what I strive for - it's why I will do this. I have finally learned that physical fitness is a wonderful side effect of the mental enrichment that exercise brings.

So, as I close out this entry, a week out from turning 42 and with the mental tenacity to embrace the 16 weeks of half marathon training ahead of me - I begin a new Vision Quest. I think I may start a new blog for anyone who wishes to tag along with me.

Bye Bye 2012

Well.... Here I am, knee deep in the off season and feeling strangely lost and undefined. I usually have my goals for the next year figured out by now - but I have no idea what I want to accomplish in 2013. I'm struggling with my usual seasonal depression, working out only intermittently and with no clear sense of purpose. When I think of the 2013 skate season - I just feel blank. I've accomplished the goals I set out to accomplish there, so what comes next? Why do I not feel enthusiastic about simply becoming a better skater? I know I have no desire to skate at the pro level, I discovered my boundaries this year and doing what it takes to skate at that level is one of them. I know, I could try to break through those boundaries - but what if I fail? I don't want to experience failure in the one area of my life where I've actually experienced the taste of success! So does that mean playing it safe to keep my feelings from getting hurt? Or do I take that chance? I'm not in the right frame of mind right now to make that choice, so I'll leave it at that.

Overall 2012 was a really good year, and I accomplished everything I set out to do. I skated a race at the pro level. (It was pretty sad; but I still did it.) I skated 4 races (goal was 3). I didn't get my 1:25 marathon time, but only missed it by ONE minute. So close enough! I started running and did 2 mud runs and 2 5K races. (I did not have a time goal - my goal was to simply complete the run without stopping. I succeeded both times.) I did not skate as many miles as I did in 2011, but this was also a transitional year for me. So I am okay with that. Maybe a mileage goal will once again be an important one in 2013 - especially since I finally feel that my Bonts are molded to the point where I can skate comfortably for long distances WITH socks!

I do know one thing is for certain; I need to stop comparing myself to other people. It is okay to let people inspire and motivate me with their accomplishments - but that doesn't mean I should think any less of myself if I am unable (or unwilling) to do what it takes to do what they are doing. I need to remind myself that this is MY journey. If I don't like skating indoors - then that's okay. It's not my thing. I'll hang tight until I can skate outside again. If I don't feel like doing boot camp or spinning or going balls to the wall in the gym 6 days a week - then that's okay too. I have my own fitness path to follow, I'm in a different place at a different pace and I need to be okay with that. I know what I enjoy doing so I need to just focus on doing those things. I think that is definitely a goal for 2013 - being comfortable with who I am and where I'm at. I know for certain that I'm in better shape now than I have ever been before, and that each year I work a little harder and do a little more as I'm pushing through depressive episodes; and that is HUGE. I forget that sometimes when I'm in the moment - I forget that I have made a lot of progress even in just the past 5 years. Compared to the person I was 10 years ago? Forget it... I cannot even relate. So my success comes in these steps that feel really small - but I guess in reality they're pretty big. To ME. I cannot compare my journey to that of someone else.

So that's where I am, 2 days away from a brand new year. I'm pretty sure that when spring is in the air the desire to skate will fill me with that euphoric joy, and a whole new adventure will begin.

Relationship Status: "It's Complicated"

Like most people I know, my relationship with food is complex. One part of my brain fully realizes that food is simply fuel to make my body perform efficiently. The right fuel will create the best possible performance and keep my bones, muscles, and tissues healthy: while the wrong fuel will make me fat, slow, and cause health problems. I know this. It's the emotional and psychological connections to food that trip me up every time. In times of stress or depression I turn to food for comfort and relief. Certain seasons bring a sense of nostalgia and I long to re-create those times with certain foods; the smell of mom's rice meatballs simmering in a rich tomato based stew takes me back to my childhood so fast it makes my head spin. It's a nice place to visit, so I want to go there. My addiction to coffee is also primarily psychological - although I have to come realize that I'm actually addicted to the flavored creamer more so than the actual coffee. 

I've been making gradual changes over the years though. About 2 years ago I made the decision to give up fast food. No more McDonalds, or Burger King, or Wendy's, or Taco Bell. The primary reason with that wasn't just the complete unhealthiness of the food, it was also the quality. I was beginning to understand that cheap, low quality food is just plain nasty. For the most part I also gave up soda; although I would on occasion give into the craving for a Coke or a Mr. Pibb. If I ate out, I would eat someplace like Chipotle - it's a little bit better quality. 

As I've gotten older, my digestive system has gotten a lot more... Sensitive. The acid reflux kicked in about 2 years ago and has been a definite battle. At first I refused to change my diet to accommodate this issue. So a lot of my suffering was more than likely my own fault. A turning point was one night while having a 'movie and finger food night' (finger foods being all of those nasty processed frozen snack foods that you buy from the grocery store. Talk about low quality!) I was eating pepperoni pizza rolls. The next 2 days were pure agony. I have not touched a pizza roll since; and that was a bit of a wake up call. I need to pay attention to what I eat or else I am going to pay for it.

I would do okay for a while; preparing food at home, packing my lunches and avoiding sweets and overly processed foods. But I never took it that one step further (reading labels on things like salad dressing and coffee creamer - two of my favorite things) and I would always fall off the wagon. It would start slow, usually because I would get burned out or lazy. Prepping food is time consuming. Sometimes it's just easier to order a pizza. Or grab a frozen meal out of the freezer. It's mindless. And that's dangerous. 

About 2 weeks ago, I noticed that I was feeling really sluggish and sick, with a complete lack of energy. I was feeling unmotivated and lazy; and I had no desire to exercise. My clothes were fitting tight and I had that awesome thing known as a muffin top.... So I took a look at my diet. Yep. Eating out almost every day, eating convenience foods, sweets, and I was up to 5-6 cups of coffee a DAY - each cup laden with tons of flavored coffee creamer. My body was telling me 'DUDE. This is so NOT COOL' in some rather unpleasant ways. So I listened. And I decided to dedicate myself to clean eating once more. This time, however, I need to take it that extra step further, and I also need to find some new options to shake things up and keep me interested. My primary goal is to cut down on the amount of processed sugar I eat every day. Along with that is the artificial ingredients. I have also opted to give up red meat.

Even though I am one of those weird people who can eat the same thing every day for weeks at a time; even I get bored with my food choices after a while. I've been doing egg whites and fruit for breakfast for years and I was so bored with that. So I've switched to plain Greek yogurt with some organic granola and fresh raspberries. I'm still getting my protein (18 grams) but it also feels like I'm eating something decadent. (After I got used to the lack of flavor and tartness of the plain yogurt that is.) It's a refreshing change. When I do eat my egg whites, I add some fresh spinach and cilantro; that kicked them up a bit. I have not been able to quit the coffee 100% yet, but I am down to one cup a day with minimal creamer. Just until I lose the taste for the creamer. Then I'll switch to half and half or skim milk. (Hopefully. I have NEVER been successful at that.) For now I am happy to be at one cup instead of six.

My second challenge was salad dressing. The good news is that once I have my conscious brain aware of something I'm trying to avoid (high fructose corn syrup for example) as soon as I see that ingredient on a label I feel an aversion to the item and I put it back. Same with partially hydrogenated oil. (I switched coffee creamer brands due to that ingredient.) But salad dressing was a big one. I have a particular brand I like and when I actually read the label I was dismayed to see high fructose corn syrup. So I went on a quest to find a recipe for a salad dressing I can make myself. I found one. I've modified it a bit to suit my own taste (it called for minced garlic but I didn't like that, so now I omit that. It also calls for a teaspoon of white sugar, I added fresh berries for sweetness instead.) It's basically non-fat buttermilk, raspberry balsamic vinegar, some fresh basil and fresh raspberries blended together until smooth. It's fantastic! Hallelujah. 

I still have a lot of things I need to work past. I hate vegetables - so yeah. Major stumbling block. I'm finding ways to sneak them into things (like protein shakes) to hide them, but eventually I want to get to a point where I just eat the damn things. I also despise seafood, so that limits my protein choices a bit. I am giving tofu a try, so far it's been meh. But I won't give up. I have a great recipe for Tilapia that I want to try once I convince my brain that I don't hate fish....

Like any other journey, this one is off to a hesitant start. I'm learning. Modifying. Giving things up in exchange for feeling better. I've already lost 3 pounds and I haven't even been exercising - that is JUST from the diet change. However weight loss isn't my goal here, to be quite honest my primary goal is digestive health. Then overall health. Then fuel for workouts. I want to be healthy and fit. And that begins with fuel. I want to get to a point where I don't say I 'can't' eat that but I 'don't' eat that. I want to find comfort in other things besides cupcakes and Halloween candy. Maybe seeing abs for the first time EVER when I look in the mirror would do the trick...

The Bipolar Hitchhiker

A lot of people tell me that they admire the fact that I am completely open and forthcoming when it comes to the fact that I have a mental illness. I've had negative reactions as well - but tend to not focus on those because when it comes right down to it - I couldn't really give a fuck what people think of me anyway. I am who I am, I am WHAT I am - and part of it is due to the bipolar. I am an unmedicated bipolar 2, which means I lean more towards the depressive cycles with some cycles of hypomania. Hypomania is a 'gentler' ride than full blown mania. For the most part my hypomanic episodes are like frenzied bursts of energy and creativity, and I usually enjoy them. The depressive cycles aren't too bad - usually I just feel quiet and mellow, a lower energy level, an increased sensitivity to the world around me; and a desire to be introspective and introverted. I also have a tendency to rapid cycle; which basically means mood swings. Not fun, but usually brief and bearable. It was not always like this for me though.

In the past I have had a couple of episodes of full blown mania where I probably should have been hospitalized - and had I been properly diagnosed I most certainly would have been. As it were, I rode them out completely alone and completely oblivious. My version of full blown mania is not fun - it's a terrifying mix of paranoia, agitation, and insomnia. I'm grateful that I have managed to get my life to a point where I am able to avoid those types of upswings. The deep, dark depressive cycles have been a much more frequent part of my past, weeks spent sleeping my life away, not eating, not showering; not caring about anything except escaping from my pain. This too - is no longer a part of my cycles. Thankfully... 

I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder in July 2000 and immediately put on Lithium and Zyprexa. I had complete trust and faith that my doctor knew what he was doing, and that he was going to fix me. I was completely shattered at that point - just two years prior I had endured the devastating losses of my brother and my mom. In hindsight, I honestly believe I would have benefited from just TALKING to someone. But as I was quick to learn, psychiatrists LOVE throwing the latest and greatest drugs at desperate people. Within a month I had gained 50 lbs, I had a constant tremor in my hands, I had hallucinations, panic attacks, and nightmares. I had choking fits that started for no reason and lasted until I almost passed out from lack of air. I had hair loss and uncontrollable muscle contractions. In August 2000, I had a full blown meltdown. I was completely unable to drive, work, or even THINK. I knew it was the medications so I begged my doctor to take me off of them and put me on something else. I had been reading about a drug called Lamictal and thought it would work better for me. My doctor accused me of being 'paranoid' and told me to stop researching the medications and just take them. That, my friends, is red flag #1. YOU are the first and foremost advocate for your own health and well being. NEVER just take a drug without doing some research first. 

I struggled for years after that. Going from doctor to doctor, one drug cocktail after another; sacrificing my identity and my humanity to achieve society's version of 'normal'. Instead, I became a dried out husk; a sun-bleached bone with no blood or marrow to nourish my soul. I felt no joy, no sorrow, no happiness; nothing. The list of physical side effects I experienced is endless - to this DAY I still experience some of them (panic attacks and involuntary muscle contractions for example.) In 2006, I decided I'd have enough. I weaned myself off of all medications and embraced the bipolar. I figured if I could not slay the dragon without sacrificing my identity, then maybe I could at least find some way to co-exist with it.

The key to co-existence is stability. As long as my life remains relatively routine and predictable; then so do my cycles. One monkey wrench in the works and I could completely lose my balance. Because I'm not completely stifled by drugs I still cycle -albeit a lot more gently. But the trade-off is that I am completely and fully alive, and in tune with my surroundings. When on an upswing, I experience life at a deeper level. Everything is more vivid; colors, music, foods. I feel like I am submerged in it - not merely existing along side it. I feel a sense of euphoria that 'normal' people take street drugs to experience. When on a downswing I feel quiet. A soft blanket of melancholy envelopes me and keeps me earth bound. I get introspective, and I feel more empathetic and connected to the quiet things. The gentle things. I don't mind it, I just don't like how low my energy level gets. This is when it is hardest for me to maintain any level of physical activity. But I'll take that over being an unfeeling zombie any day.

I have a lot of friends who are Bipolar. We tend to gravitate towards each other. I totally get that many of them do much better on the medications and that is wonderful. The drugs made things so much worse for me though. People with mental illnesses should always explore ALL of their options before settling on one. Vitamin deficiencies, poor nutrition, stress, lack of exercise - these things can exacerbate or even CAUSE symptoms of depression or mania. Pay attention to your body. Sometimes just a minor correction to a hormone or a vitamin can help tremendously! (I found that I leveled out even MORE once I was also correctly diagnosed with hypothyroid and put on Armour thyroid. My hysterectomy also helped.) Like it or not, this little hitchhiker is along for the entire ride that is my life. It makes aspects of  my life a little more challenging sure, but it also makes other aspects a lot richer. I embrace and accept who I am - finally.

Northshore Inline Marathon 2012 - recap!

View of the finish line from our hotel room!

Wow, what an incredible weekend!! We arrived in Duluth just in time for a team photo and packet pick-up, check into the hotel, then back to the expo to work the Ezeefit booth. I had SUCH a blast working the booth!!! It was so much fun to get a chance to talk to so many other skaters. I was using Ezeefit products long before I started skating for them, so it was really easy for me to sell the products. I could not believe how busy the booth was and before it was time for me to head to dinner we had sold out of many items. (The palm sliders are awesome, so are the shorts - two items that sold out quickly!!) and of course, the signature booties. I love mine, I never skate without them. I sincerely hope that everyone who bought items from us had a great race!

After the booth I met up with a group of my friends for dinner. I still cannot get over how pivotal social networking has been as far as connecting with other skaters! For dinner I got to hang out with several people I met through the Endomondo site (Endomondo is a GPS app you can use on your phone, they also have a website where you upload your workouts and connect with other people - sort of like Facebook.) The neatest thing was getting to meet Ed, who traveled all the way from the Netherlands to skate with us. It's one thing to challenge and support each other virtually, quite another to do it in person! It was so wonderful to see everyone over a nice meal. I think the pre-race dinner is one of my favorite parts of any race weekend!

Clockwise fr/ left: Ed, myself, John, Mike, Chris M, Susan, Carla, Pat, Chris L, Scott and Phil!

Of course, I slept like crap. I was so worried that the alarm wouldn't go off or there would be some other catastrophe that would make me miss the race. I was up hours before I needed to be, but at least that allowed  me to get some cool sunrise photos! The day dawned GORGEOUS. Sunny, mild, with a tailwind. Perfect day for a race!!!

 Sunrise from our hotel window!

This year I had the opportunity to ride up to Two Harbors in the luxury of Roger's RV instead of the buses. (I didn't mind riding the bus last year, but one advantage of the RV was the availability of a bathroom!!) It was a nice ride spent chatting with my Ezeefit teammates. We arrived with plenty of time to relax and get a couple of group photos. 

From L to R: Glenn, Matt, Walter, LR, Mechele, Brian, Myself, Roger, Ami, Luis and Billy.

Got Booties??? :)

Before I knew it, it was time to line up at the starting line. I was in Wave B this year, and my plan was to try to stick with Pat and Mike for as long as possible. The mass start was really scary, especially for someone who is used to skating alone. People were all over the place! I lost Pat and Mike about 2 seconds after the start!! The new pavement at the starting line was BEAUTIFUL. I hit my fastest speeds on that portion: I'm sure everyone else did as well!! (I was averaging 20 mph over that first 5 mile stretch!!!) It was over too soon, though, then on to the cobbled, tar snake-streaked pavement. I tried to find a pace line but no one was going at a consistent pace I felt comfortable with. I am a fairly consistent skater, so when I joined a line that went fast/slow/fast/slow with the skaters spreading apart then bumping back into each other - I was out. I don't feel safe or comfortable skating like that. I took off and decided to do my own thing. If I found another line then great; if not - oh well. Eventually I began to overtake skaters who had blazed past me at the starting line. I found a steady, consistent pace and stuck with it. After about 15 miles I figured I'd be doing this one solo and just tried to maintain my pace. I felt very strong, and I was having a blast; so I didn't mind being alone. 

 I found that the grooved section in the tunnels didn't spook me nearly as much this year, and after an initial slow down, I picked up my pace and flew through that portion with no issues. Some lady tried to strike up a conversation with me when I slowed down, but I really hate that... I'll talk your ear off before and after a race; but during the race I am all business. I cannot focus on what I need to do with someone trying to make small talk. Sorry! I pulled away from her and the other people she was skating with and continued onward. 

Up the hill, around the corner and the finish was just ahead! With a sudden burst of energy I sprinted as hard as I could to the finish!! I wanted to finish strong! 

Just crossed the finish line! My official time was 1:26:48!

Meeting up with some of my friends after the race!

My goal for this race was simply to beat my time from last year. This was a transitional year for me, going from  the K2's to the Bonts and all of the struggles that came along with that. I did not feel that I could gauge my growth from the races I did prior to Northshore, because this one is not like the others. It's faster and the field of competition is much broader. My gauge was to be the differences from last year to this year. This year I felt stronger, faster and more technical. I could feel shifts in my form that required correction so I could maintain my pace. I got one blister (pinky toe) probably due to some toe flicking towards the end of the race as I started to fatigue. Over all though, I felt very strong! I managed to place 5th in my age division again, which was really cool!!! There are some strong skaters in my age group and I feel honored to rank up there with the best of them. 

1st place, (Penny Streicher), 4th place (Jamie Jensen) and 5th place (me!!) 

This was a wonderful way to close out my 2012 skate season! I know what I need to work on next year (I really need to find some people to skate with, I need the experience of pack skating!) I also need to work on sprinting (Currently I take about 5-6 miles to warm up and cannot hit my stride right off the start like a lot of other skaters. Main reason I lost Mike & Pat right at the beginning.) I am not sure if this is a bad thing, but it can be a bit frustrating. Of course, my form is an ongoing work in progress. 

I kind of gave up on collecting miles this year in favor of focusing more on skating comfortably and consistently. The new boots were definitely a challenge to get  used to, and the constant tweaking became a normal part of my routine. I can now skate with socks and I feel that the boots and I are bonded, so I should be able to hit the trail rolling next year without having to do anymore tweaking. I definitely need to log some indoor time this winter though - either on ice or inlines. 

Considering all of my issues though, I still managed to have a really successful season! I placed at all four races I skated, and I managed new personal best half and full marathon times. I also made new friends along the way and for me, becoming a part of this close knit skating community has been one of the most rewarding parts of the entire experience!!

10 More Days Until the Northshore Inline Marathon!

The Bonts w/ the 105 87A Mayhems. My new favorite set up!

Ah, the Northshore inline marathon. The biggie. The race that all of the other races have been leading up to. Northshore also marks the end of my 2012 season - it's my last race of the year. (I was going to try to do Houston, but financially it just isn't going to happen.) I am very excited to skate Northshore again - it will be an excellent cap to my skate season...

And what an interesting season this has been... It started out with me so fired up about my new boots; only to discover that there would be a very brutal period of those boots breaking ME in. (They almost broke me PERIOD!) Blood, sweat, tears; weird bony knobs on my feet where there were none before; scars from the boots wearing through the skin, excruciating foot ball pain so intense it gave me nausea, having to re-train my muscles to skate in a lower crouch; moments of feeling like giving up, chucking my skates into a closet, and switching back to the comfortable, reliable K2's....

But I didn't do that. I kept skating. I did 2 full heat molds. I kept skating. I struggled with some anxiety and confidence issues; things I attributed back to not having a heel brake and the fact that I skate on a highly congested bike trail. I'm finally feeling confident again and not so focused on every single possible 'what if' scenario. I'm learning how to stop even at the higher speeds and that has increased my confidence. I'm feeling more comfortable in the boots and that too, has increased my confidence. I tried 105 wheels again and actually had success with them, so I will be training and racing on 105's next year. (I'm doing Northshore on the 105 Mayhems as well.)

Over the past couple of weeks, skating has become fun again. I am extremely aware of my form and when I get tired and start skating sloppy - things start hurting. I have to be diligent. It's like negative reinforcement designed to keep me in good form! But I have relaxed again. I smile a lot when I'm on the trail. I pass a lot of bikes and I get a huge rush out of that. (I especially love it when I draft a bike and the cyclist keeps looking back in disbelief.) Luckily most of the cyclists I encounter are very cool with that and with me - I've had negative experiences in the past with cyclists who do not like skaters. I guess giving them a run for their money earns me some respect or something. Ha!

I've also finally managed to get socks to work - HALLELUJAH! I will say that I so do not like skating barefoot. I sweat way too much. Even though my feet don't have much room to move around, they still felt like they were sliding around and it was disconcerting. The socks keep my feet more stable and that makes me feel like I can dig in more when I push out. I'm waiting on some new socks to try from the Skate Now shop (I'll blog about those once I try them out, I have high expectations of them!) That was the last piece of the puzzle as far as getting me to a point where I feel comfortable and enjoy skating again. I currently skate w/ the ultra thin Ezeefit booties and the dry max ultra thin running socks. I think I can actually go back to the thicker Ezeefits because there is some sloppiness around my ankles. If that makes sense. That is probably due to the heat mold - I did that with the thicker booties as well as a pair of socks. Either way - almost there...

I'm skating Wave B and I'm feeling pretty confident. I'll probably skate 4-5 more times before leaving for Duluth; one more long one (even though I totally have the distance down) and some short ones with a focus on intervals. I've been managing to average 14 mph on my outings - last year my average was 12. My goal for Northshore is to beat my time from last year (1:34). I'll be happy with anything faster than that....

For my skater friends who are going to Duluth - I will see you all in 10 days! Can't wait!! For everyone else - here's hoping my Northshore follow up is all good!