One Size Does NOT Fit All.

When I strapped on my first pair of inline skates 18 years ago - I didn't ask anyone how to skate. Or how to stop. I skated around my garage until I had a grasp on the balance thing; then I took off down a trail. I had NO IDEA how to stop. I had to do a scary drop and roll while crossing a busy street; I was picking gravel out of my shoulder for two days! This is what made me slow down and take the time to learn how to use my heel brake. I taught myself. I fell a lot those early days, but eventually I got it and skating became really, really fun. I didn't wear pads or a  helmet; I wore cut-offs and tank tops with a baseball hat. It wasn't exercise, I skated based on TIME, no clue as to how far I was going or how fast; "I skated an hour today". I just wanted to be outside having fun!

Flash forward to 2011, and I discovered this whole world of skaters out there - and actual skate events. And that began a new learning and growing process for me. I used to get so frustrated when I would see other skaters pass me on the trail; so I kept buying faster bearings. I had no idea that it was actually small wheels holding me back. Bit by bit I began to learn new things to take my skating to the next level. I have some really amazing skate friends who are super passionate and knowledgeable - but I soon became overwhelmed with information. 

I have to admit; I'm hesitant to write this blog. I don't want to upset anyone. But there are some things that have been really bothering me. They were just nagging thoughts until I began running. The running community is so different from the skating community. The running mentality is 'whatever works for you'. So I run a 5K with a full fuel belt? I'm not judged for that. I feel embarrassed because I think I run slow: I get nothing but positive feedback and encouragement. I wear spandex shorts instead of traditional running shorts - nobody bats an eye because nobody CARES. Whatever works for you. I have questions about socks, or compression gear, or chafing - the advice I get always starts with 'well, this is what works for me; it may or may not work for you, but you could try it'. I have NEVER had anyone say 'do it this way or you are a sucky runner and a loser'. Never. I ran a race where I saw a dude running in jeans and a t-shirt! I didn't judge, hey man, whatever works for YOU.

Skating is not like that. Ditch the visor on your helmet, you look like a weenie. Ditch your brake, real skaters don't need a brake. It's a very judgmental sport. It makes me feel sad because it is a dying sport. You would think that with as small of a community as we are, we would embrace everyone who chooses to put inline skates on; regardless of their gear, or the size of their wheels, or if they wear full pads and need a heel brake. I mean honestly, why should it even matter? I had to stop visiting an online forum because the attacks on anyone doing things deemed 'incorrect' by other skaters depressed me. I just don't get it. I narrowed down the number of people I seek advice from and started only going to them. My friends. I still get unsolicited advice from skaters whenever I post something they don't agree with; and that pisses me off. If I want advice, I'll ask someone I trust in my circle. I've been on the speed skates for a year and a half; I've skated 6 marathons, 1 half marathon, and the 38 mile portion of Athens to Atlanta. (I also skated the half marathon, my first full marathon, and A2A on rec skates with a heel brake.) I get it, I know what I'm capable of, I know what makes me uncomfortable and what makes me feel confident. I'm done with conforming to the ideal, it's time that I do WHAT WORKS FOR ME.

First and foremost, I am getting a brake for my skates. I don't give a fuck if it makes me look like a dweeb. I have lost so much of my confidence when I trail skate that I don't even look forward to it anymore. I automatically start imagining all of the worst case scenarios that can come up; and I feel reluctant. And fearful. I do know how to t-stop and snow plow. I do. BUT - I cannot do it at high speed. So guess what I do? Yep. I skate SLOW. Not conducive to training for a RACE. I won't wear a brake while I race, I feel super confident when I know I won't be dealing with the same kind of traffic that congests the trail I skate. But for the conditions I train in, a brake makes sense. 

I'm not interested in being an elite skater. I am not interested in going pro. I skate because it's fun. And I enjoy it. I like racing but I will never be super fast. I'm totally okay with this. My unsolicited advice to the judgmental skaters is to think about what you're doing. What works for you may or may not work for someone else, so do you really have to make them feel bad if they choose to do it a different way? People like to have choices and options; there really truly is no one size fits all when it comes to skating. We should encourage each other to enjoy the sport at our respective levels. Don't be such a skate snob. And if putting a stupid brake on my skate will help me regain my confidence and start enjoying my trail skates again; then it is more than worth having a select few skaters deem me a loser. The fact that I'm out there at all tells me that I'm not.

Hmm... My Rudy Project helmet actually came with a really cool visor. I may just throw that back on too....

Apostle Islands Inline Marathon 2013

Ahh Apostle. I promise this time I won't forget how much I love you....

I'll be honest, I wasn't feeling it. I have not done much skating this year, partly due to the weather and partly due to training for the Colfax half marathon. I did not feel like I was really prepared to inline race yet. But, I got a beautiful new set of Mayhem wheels and had made up my mind to not focus on anything except enjoying myself. No stress - just skate. I boarded a plane without realizing that I had completely spaced packing my rain set-up. So... No rain wheels, no boot covers; no cold weather gear.. Nada. (I left all of that stuff sitting on the floor in my living room...) It had been in the 90's all week here in Colorado, I guess mentally I just couldn't grasp that I was going north where the chances of it being cold and/or wet at some point during the weekend were like 100%. 

I arrived in Minneapolis on Thursday night; had a nice dinner and a good night's sleep. We headed up to Bayfield, WI on Friday; I got my packet, checked into the hotel and got ready to meet some friends for dinner. I watched the dark clouds roll over the lake and just as we were about to head out to the restaurant; it started to rain. I felt my heart sink. We parked the car outside the restaurant and the minute I stepped out into the rain, my mood and my attitude took an even bigger nose dive. We had a nice dinner with our friends, but I kept whining about not packing rain gear. I completely forgot that it's best to keep your fears to yourself. However, I was feeling an awful lot of fear and anxiety... It's really hard to keep that stuff on lock down....

Dinner With My Skate Family!

I have never skated in rain - and I was on a brand spanking new set of wheels that didn't even have a scuff on them. I'm not the most confident skater anyway these days - ever since switching to the Bonts; so the idea of skating in the rain had me feeling terrified! Everyone kept telling me I'd be fine, but I couldn't get that feeling of dread to dissipate. 

Went to bed around 10 - slept fitfully; if at all. Woke up at 4 am to the sound of pouring rain. I was wide awake. Laid there listening to the rain with a zillion things running through my head.... What do I do? Do I show up, suit up, and prepare to bow out at the last minute? Do I at least attempt it? Do I just stay in bed?? I eventually got up and started getting dressed. I went outside and it wasn't too cold so at least I knew I'd be okay in shorts. The rain stopped and I crossed my fingers that it would stay that way and that the pavement had time to dry.

With my attitude still in the shitter; I boarded the ferry to Madaline Island at 6:30 am. My filter was still off and I was being very vocal about my fears and my lack of confidence. I seriously need to work on that - even to my own ears I was starting to sound like a baby! ("There's no crying in speed skating - unless you're missing some skin or have broken bones!!") I shouldered my skate bag and unloaded from the ferry. I guess I just had that moment where you do a mental shrug; accept that whatever will happen will happen - and I will face it and be okay. Suck it up and let it be what it is. Letting go of all of that finally helped me relax a bit. I figured the worst that could happen is that I slide and lose some skin, right? That's not too bad - I've already done that before... I got my skates on, did not even warm up or stretch or anything: I was too busy watching everyone go back and forth about what set-up to go with, dry or wet? Leggings or no? I had no such dilemmas since I didn't bother to pack any options...

I Think I'm Good To Go!

We lined up and I had the usual butterflies in my tummy. My strategy was pretty basic; take the first lap a little easy to feel out the course and the other skaters. After that - I would adjust accordingly. Each lap is about 8.7 miles around, that's plenty of time to warm up and get a feel for the course. I hung a bit towards the back  and started out slow.

Looking Like I'm Going For A Sunday Stroll And Not About To Race 26.2 Miles.... D'Oh!

About halfway through the first lap, I realized two things; 1 - the pavement was pretty much DRY so I would be totally fine!! And 2 - that I was probably going to end up skating solo. I passed about 4 pacelines with zero desire to join any of them. I know I'll get blasted for this but I seriously hate skating in pacelines, especially ones with other inexperienced skaters. (I know I'm a nightmare in a paceline too - I tend to hang back or drop in and out of the line depending on the speed.) All I saw were legs and elbows all over the place and decided I wanted no part of that noise. I tucked in, found my own pace and just enjoyed the scenery.

I Don't Need No Stinkin' Paceline!

This course is amazing! The pavement is smooth, it's relatively flat; and the scenery is gorgeous. There is a bend that you come around when you're about 2-3 miles from completing a lap; it's my favorite part of the course. You are flying along a tree lined street, come around the bend; and then see this gorgeous bay. I could hear the waves lapping up against the shore; it's breathtaking. I absolutely love it!

I have no idea why the corner before the finish line scares me. I think it's because of all of the people standing around, not the actual turn itself. It's a very wide 90 degree right hand turn. I took it slow and standing completely upright like a moron. Oh well... First lap under my belt - I felt warm, I had a feel for the course; and decided to crank things up a bit! [Lap 1 - 36:13 - 14.42 mile/hr average]

Coming Up On The Corner Towards The Finish Of Lap 1 - Oh I Know, My Form Is Crap....

Lap 2 was better; it was actually my best lap. I felt relaxed, nothing on the course was causing anxiety; I handled the hard right turns just fine, and I felt great. I was completely okay with skating solo. [Lap 2 - 34:04 - 15.32 mile/hr average]

By the 3rd lap I was feeling a little tired. I got to see the pro men cross the finish line; they crossed just as I was about to finish my 2nd lap. It's always exciting to see the pros do what they do. Amazing. I couldn't quite maintain the same speed as my 2nd lap, but I was still going faster than the first. But more importantly; I was enjoying myself. I was looking around at the scenery, I felt happy and exhilarated. My feet were holding out, no tingling in the balls of my feet, no unbearable pain in my ankles or shins. I kept on going and came around that stupid corner for the last time to the finish line. I finished lap 3 at an average of 15.05 mile/hr total time was 1:44.29. Seven minutes slower than last year - but considering how crappy my attitude was and how little training I've actually done this  year: I was thrilled with that! I also managed to place 2nd in my age group - out of 8. So that was pretty awesome and unexpected. I was 17th out of 57 females; I feel good about that too!

I guess I just needed to be reminded. It's not about the pain, or the frustration, or the fear. These are all things that can be overcome if you are strong enough to resist the urge to quit. (Believe me, I've had the urge to quit...) I guess I forgot about that moment when the aches recede and I find my 'skate legs', and the breeze is in my face and the swishing of my skates is as rhythmic as a heartbeat. I forgot how much fun it is. How it feels like flying. How exciting it is to zip across the finish line. I forgot how awesome it is to hang out with other skaters who are passionate about the sport. I just needed to be reminded that I do in fact love this. I love traveling, I love the camaraderie, I love the satisfaction of finishing - especially on a day when I didn't think I would.

The Reason Why I Do This - I'm In Excellent Company!

My Wonderful Friends

I still have a ways to go to get back to being as confident as I was prior to transitioning to the Bonts - but I think I know what I need to do. I need to practice stopping. I need to learn how to stop on a dime and be confident that I can stop on a dime if I have to. That's the only thing holding me back these days. It seems like such a stupid minor thing but I cannot believe how much it's affected my confidence. I know I can stop - I just don't feel confident that I can stop quickly at the higher speeds. Only way to change that is to get out and do it. Again, and again, until I feel I've got it. 

Not sure what's next up for me - I'm still on the fence about skating Chicago, I may run another half marathon in July instead. Or maybe I'll do both... I have a little bit of time to decide. For now I am going to focus on a few skate issues, keep running and keep improving! My season has just begun - I have a lot I want to do!

Farewell, Beautiful Bayfield, WI - Until Next Year!!!!