1.) The leaves start changing colors,
2.) The weather starts getting cooler, and
3.) I start getting depressed, lethargic, and fat.
I had an absolutely amazing summer and was riding a wave of momentum like none I've ever experienced before. I felt invincible. I felt DRIVEN. I had my hopes up that the strength of this tide would push me right over the seasonal slump without even slowing me down. Instead, it was as if I were skating full steam ahead down the bike trail and my wheel hit a rock: I stopped dead and went sprawling head over ass onto the pavement; landing face first and skidding along for miles... Road rash of the soul - all the way down the full length of it...
Unfortunately, I'm used to this, this has been my reality for as far back as I can remember. Every Autumn I feel myself start to wind down, and a cold, damp blanket of melancholy settles around my shoulders; extinguishing my fire. I crave carbs and sleep; or external stimulation to keep me out of my head. I become anti-social. I have no energy or motivation. Just making it into work is a major victory because all I want to do is hide.
This morning I put on my favorite pair of dress pants - and they don't fit. I felt alarm and despair; but not surprise. I hate this... I haven't exercised since I took a 27+ mile skate on November 27th... I've been eating without any regard or wisdom. If it tastes good it goes into my face; calories be damned.. I honestly do not want this cycle to end like it always does: spring rolls around and I spend the first part of my skate season getting back into shape - losing the goo and gaining the endurance All. Over. Again. Starting from scratch year after year... I wanted to come out of the gate in pure fighting form: fit and strong by March. I just need to figure out how to reignite my fire without waiting for spring to come along and do it for me... I don't know how to combat this though; I feel so weary, right down into my bones.... I think I need a nap.
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