Sunday, March 11, 2012

Feeling Discouraged...



I am usually pretty upbeat and positive; years of being a negative pessimist took their toll on me until I decided that I was done being a 'glass half empty' kind of gal. Now I am usually more of a 'not only is the glass half full -but I also have the power to top it off!' kind of gal...

But I'm also human, and prone to having moments of being unable to see past a particular moment to visualize the big picture. Yesterday was one of those days. I've been out on my new Bonts 3 times - and all 3 times brought some kind of agony and frustration.

Day one was completely my fault for being overzealous. I skated 31 miles on brand new skates, and on the return trip I experience excruciating muscle and foot pain. I had raw spots worn into the backs of both heels and my legs were so cramped I could hardly walk. It was extremely disheartening.

Day two was of course, the day of my epic wipe-out. Yesterday when I skated past the spot where I crashed, the water was gone so I could see exactly what I had done wrong. The water flow was coming down a part where two paths joined, so when I tried to skirt around the bigger portion of water my skate must have gotten caught in the seam where the two paths joined together. If I would have just taken the water straight on - I probably wouldn't have wrecked. Disheartening.

Day three was yesterday. I was apprehensive to begin with, but once I saw that the trail wasn't too bad, I tried to find my stride. I came across one slushy wet obstacle underneath a bridge, by the time I came upon it, I was going too fast to slow down so I ran right through it. My heart was pounding so hard I thought I was having a heart attack! I skated right through it without even a wobble. I had a relatively enjoyable skate to the turn-around point (wisely I decided to turn around at just over 8 miles rather than push myself to turn around at 10.) This is where things went to shit. As soon as I turned around, the wind was right in my face. It was so intense that it almost stopped me dead in my tracks several times. I had to work twice as hard to get any speed up, so I started to feel exhausted, and frustrated, and angry. At one point I looked at my GPS and noticed that it had taken me a damn HOUR to skate 13 miles!! My heels were hurting, I looked down at my feet and noticed I was pronating HORRIBLY and I could not get myself to correct it. I made it back to my truck feeling exhausted and frustrated rather than relaxed and euphoric.

I had moments of thinking about switching back to my K2's. I had moments of feeling like I absolutely despised the Bont skates. I had moments of thinking that I transitioned too soon - and then wondering if I should have even transitioned at all. I felt dread about my upcoming marathon in Texas, rather than excitement. I felt completely disheartened, discouraged, and tired. A part of me isn't even looking forward to the next time I try to get out and skate.... And that really, really sucks.

I have two huge blisters on the back of my heels again; same spot on both feet. I know I need to adjust my frames. I feel sloppy, clumsy, and awkward when I skate. I'm guessing the muscle soreness will eventually resolve once I have my legs conditioned to work with the new skates - I'm hoping that the sloppiness will improve as well. I'm not really looking forward to the outings I'll have until all of this happens, and I have a fear that it WON'T. In fact, I'm actually looking more forward to running on the treadmill than I am to skating again...

I also realize that it's early in the season - but have I lost EVERYTHING I gained last year??? I sincerely hope this is a temporary hitch (and a normal one) because the thought of losing my joy breaks my heart. I'm hoping this painful transition is normal and I just need to suck it up and push through it because the rewards will outweigh the grief... They have to...

3 comments:

  1. This will get better. I've only been skating 3 years and spent good parts of year one on my ass. Stupid mistakes, not being aware, not planning my bail-out strategy all the time, etc. I got skating with a great group in SoCal and just kept at it. This morning finished our monthly canyon skate (38.5 miles with about 2000 ft elevation) in our fastest time of 2.5 hours. There are those days my skates and muscles ache. I can skate strong and hard for a long distance, but still don't have the fast pick-up speed to stay with the pack at our weekly workouts and races, but it's better this year than it was last year and will be better next year than it is now. So, from someone who has experienced share of frustrations, 'Yes, it does get better and I love it. Even the not so good days.' Brian, Irvine, CA

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  2. Yes, Christine, over the winter months you have lost your conditioning from last year. Add in the new equipment and anyone should expect to feel like a beginner again. This is certainly a temporary and normal feeling when resuming in the spring. I think there's plenty of time before Road Rash. Just be patient and don't think of yourself as a speedster for the next few weeks. Many training plans call for long, slow mileage at medium heart rates when resuming activity in the spring, so practice your stride and your form without getting out of breath. Don't think about your speed at all for 3 weeks. Carry your frame wrench and adjust your frames as necessary mid-ride to correct pronation. Lastly, I think it would be good to revert to your old boots on odd days to let your blisters heal, and to get that old feeling back. But still, just have fun and don't worry about going fast yet. You'll be flying before you know it.

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  3. For the most part you described the feelings I've had on every one of my "first skates" of the year in years past. (I've been lucky with this year in that I've never had to take more than about a week off my skates for the winter.) My God, I would get to the top of my trail and seriously think "I'm going to die". I'd have to sit down on a bench, catch my breath and hope that I could make it back to the car without coughing up a lung as I skated into the wind. The next skate wouldn't feel quite so lethal as I sputtered my way up the hill till finally I was seeing the times on my course get lower and lower. My fitness level returned pretty quickly each time and after a few weeks of regular skating I could easily increase my distances till it came down to the amount of time I had to skate regulating how far I could go. You will recover your fitness very quickly.

    As for getting used to your new skates I have recent experience with that too. I got my Bont's in May of last year. I had a few blisters and hot spots but through working with Glenn Koshi via email and occasional visits I was able to get my frames positioned perfectly for me. As time went on I had some pain in my ankle where the tendons go around the back side of the outside of my left ankle. It would be so tender after skating that it hurt to the touch. From seeing Glenn heat and stretch my boot I made my own "stretcher" and started pushing around on the spot on my own and finally got it balanced perfectly. There's still a tight fit with enough room that my tendons are not being irritated.

    Glenn told me when I ordered my skates that I would probably see my times get worse before they got better, especially if I was working on getting my form together. He was right on the money. I couldn't beat my personal record for my trail to save my life for the first couple weeks. As time went on I started to catch my old K2 Skating self.

    Just as my transition into my new skates was really picking up steam and I was less than two weeks out from skating Napa I had a wipe out and broke my ankle. Talk about setbacks! Here I was as my fastest, fittest skater self down on the trail and out for at least 6 weeks. I really didn't let it hold me back, though. I couldn't skate but I could ride an exercise bike and I kept my mojo up by riding nearly every day and working with a trainer. In 6 weeks of wearing the boot I logged 26 days in the gym. It took about three more weeks after losing the boot before I could skate again. Soon after I was back on skates again I was flying to Duluth to complete my first marathon.

    My point here is that you must persist through the setbacks. Your fitness will come back. Be assertive with your frame adjustments and then zero in on what works. Get low, stay low and go slow if you have to, the speed will come... and go skate indoors, you will not regret it.

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