Northshore Inline Marathon recap!!

Wow, what a weekend!!! I arrived in Minneapolis at 1:20 pm on Friday, my friend Susan picked me up and after a quick bite to eat we set out for Duluth. The drive took us about 3 hours with construction traffic and a couple of stops along the way. We got checked into the hotel (swanky - we splurged and had a suite!) then headed down to the convention center so I could pick up my skate packet and check out the expo. Holy cow, what a difference from St Paul!!! I got my stuff, we met up with some of my new friends, and took a look around. I picked up some swag and parts from Inline Warehouse, tried not to spend a lot of money; and visited with my pals. We had a late dinner then off to bed.

I was up at 5 am Saturday morning; excited but I also had nervous butterflies. I was super happy to see that the weather held out and there wasn't any rain in the forecast - but could tell by the frost on the cars that it was anything but warm outside. I had packed a variety of skate clothes (from tank tops to sleeves) and opted to dress warm. I got Susan up and she drove me to the convention center to catch the bus to Two Harbors.

The bus ride up was really fun, I sat next to a gentleman who did ice dancing with his wife as a hobby, and the guy in front of us was the organizer for the Montreal 24 hour relay. (I think he said his name was Simon.) We had a nice conversation and the drive up went by quickly. Next thing I knew it was time to get off of the bus and head up to the staging area. They had a bunch of seats set up, and I just have to say, it was COLD. I didn't want to take my jacket or warm up pants off!!!!

I met up with my friend Kelly; then we found Pat and Mike - and eventually it was time to get ready. I was moving slow because my hands were so cold! Before I knew it, they were lining people up to get ready for the race. I hurriedly threw my stuff in the gear bag to load on the truck and realized afterwards that I had left my skate tool and my sunglasses in the gear bag... Oh well....

I must have been feeling a bit frazzled because I originally lined up with Kelly. He was in wave 1. I was supposed to be in wave 2. (Can I blame that on the cold too??) I got back with my group and lined up between Mike and Pat. My hands and feet were frozen; I couldn't even feel my toes!! I hoped that wouldn't be an issue... I set my Endomondo sports tracker, they blew the horn and off we went...

It took me about a mile to find my groove and warm up. It is so weird, but once I start skating, it is like all outside noise fades away. Anything my mind is chewing on gets forgotten. I slip into this zone and all I focus on is the swishing sound of my skates, the road in front of me; and the other skaters. Instinct took over and I leap-frogged pace lines until I found ones that were going the speed I wanted. I hopped from several pace lines until about mile 9 where I found a really steady one. I skated with them for a few miles, then sped up to another line. (I even pulled several lines, which was actually really cool!!) I found Mike at some point and fell into his line. I skated with him and one other guy for the rest of the race. The section of 35 that they said they had improved felt super squirrelly, I found that if I didn't keep my feet moving, I didn't feel as secure. I hated that section and felt like the terrain slowed me down a bit. I was very glad when we got past that portion of the race. Lemon Drop hill was not as imposing as I thought it would be and the next thing I knew we were at the home stretch!!

Back home I've been training to save enough juice to go full out the last two to three miles. I did the same thing here. I felt that burst of adrenaline and I went full out across the finish line. I was super excited and felt like I'd had a great race. According to my Endomondo, I had completed it in 1:34... I couldn't believe it - that's a full 10 minutes faster than my best time!! It also said my average speed was 17.2!!! That made me feel extremely happy! My goal had been to complete it in 1:40 or less!! I had also HOPED that I would place within my age division. I did not make that a goal because I was not sure it was feasible; especially for my first full marathon. But I DID place! I got 5th place, which got me a medal... I cannot even begin to tell you how awesome that made me feel!!

All in all, the entire experience was wonderful! I got to meet skaters I had connected with online, and actually skate with them. I got a personal best marathon time, I placed; but best of all - I had a BLAST!

Me with Kelly, who I met on the Inline Warehouse Facebook page [he's in the helmet] and Mike, who I met on the Endomondo sports tracking website [he's in the yellow jacket.] Michael is a friend of Kelly's who I actually interacted with on Inline Planet [Michael is in the gray jersey] Mike's dad Steve skated the marathon too [he's in the orange hat] - and I believe the guy in the black is from Germany; he skates with Kelly's skate club.

On the podium getting my medal... wow.... that was so awesome!!!

Me with my medal... I am amazed that I was able to accomplish this. I have come SO FAR this year...

  Northshore Stats:
Official time: 1:34:02
Overall 196/1586
Sex 25/603
Age Division  5/62

If you can dream it...

I have just 4 more days until the Northshore marathon. My very first full inline skating marathon ever! If you would've told me even just a year ago that I'd be getting ready to fly to Minnesota to skate in a marathon, I would've laughed in your face. Me? Sheyah, riight!! A year ago I didn't have the drive, motivation, or faith in myself that I have now... Considering some of the awesome cycles of failure in my past - it's amazing I've come this far! The St. Paul half marathon was amazing, but that was just a taste of it and I want so much more! I feel confident that I will have a blast and do fairly well, however, there is a part of me that is still struggling with some fear and doubt. I had a dream that I woke up late and missed the race. I had another dream where I got lost on the way to the starting line and somehow ended up back at my house. I also had a dream where I was skating the course and got lost... (I ended up flying in that one though, so it turned out to be pretty cool.) It seems like my subconscious is trying to work through some worst case scenarios or something, but at some point I recalled the time I tried to get my motorcycle license...

Oh, you didn't know that I once attempted to get a motorcycle license? Oh yes, I did. And it was a failure of epic proportions...

It was October 2003, I had just lost all of the weight I'd gained during my phase of being a shrink's drug guinea pig. I was feeling incredibly confidence and self-assured. My ex had been pushing me to get my license so we could ride together, and I finally felt confident that I could do it. I signed up for the three day course at the community college and showed up ready to rock. The first night was easy, we just sat in a classroom and went over laws and that sort of thing. The next day, we actually got on the bikes... I did great that first day, I had so much fun and was really enjoying learning to ride. On the final day, we were to do the riding part of the exam and then the written part - and then we would be licensed riders!

The day started out bad, it was so damn hot and we were in full gear. To top it off; I somehow ended up as the second person in line. So here I am, feeling self-conscious because everyone was watching me, it's hot as hell; and I'm not riding so well. I flubbed up some figure 8 thing and was just not feeling it. We lined up to do this braking portion (you get up to 3rd gear then have to break inside this box) and there are two classes lined up side by side. My turn comes, I gun it, jam the brakes expecting to line up perfectly inside the box. It didn't quite work out that way. In fact, I can't tell you exactly what happened. One minute I'm seeing the box, and the next minute I'm seeing the sky. I somehow jammed up the brakes and completely flipped the bike. After the instructor made sure the bike was okay, he checked on me. I just felt stunned and completely humiliated. BOTH classes were staring at me. He told me to stick around and at least take the written exam, then schedule to do the riding exam again the next month. I said sure, let me use the bathroom first and I'll be right back... I went in the building, bypassed the bathroom, snuck out the back door, got into my truck; and never looked back... I didn't even realize I was injured until I got home. (Nothing serious, I jacked up my foot and couldn't wear a shoe for three days and had all sorts of pretty bruises all over.)

It was a humbling experience. I had this thought that maybe, just maybe - some people are never meant to be any better than they are. Maybe some people just reach a certain point of mediocrity, and that is their lot in life; destined to hit a wall and never be able to rise above it. Maybe some lucky people are just born with the over-achiever, good-at-everything-they-do gene; while the rest get squat. I felt that I was one of those people - that I had reached the wall and would never be any better than that. For a long time after that, I did not attempt to do anything that would require me to push myself past any of my perceived boundaries. I figured, what was the point?

During the journey that has been the year 2011 - the year I break bad habits, cycles, and negative ways of thinking on my way to becoming the person I truly want to be - I have reshaped that original thought. Maybe the reason people fail is because they don't attempt to explore their options to find the things that they're truly good at, the things that they feel truly passionate about. Maybe they attempt things because they're expected to (as I did with the motorcycle. I didn't want it - the ex did.) Maybe people fail not because they don't try hard enough to succeed; maybe they're just trying to succeed at the wrong things.

I do know that 'if you can dream it, you can achieve it' is a complete crock of shit because we're not all built the same way.  I used to dream of being an astronaut, but guess what? I'm too stupid to be an astronaut. So I'll leave that to the smart people and I'll skate. Because it's what I'm good at.

The Countdown to Northshore!

Well, the Northshore marathon is in 6 days - I am just 6 days away from accomplishing my goal of skating a full marathon, and I couldn't be more excited!

Of course, I had a little bit of a set back due to stupid health stuff... I have GERD (acid reflux disease) a hiatal hernia and stomach ulcers; and for the most part when I have a flare up I eat some Prilosec for a couple of weeks, it calms back down and life goes on. This flare up started in early August and I could not get it to calm back down. It got so bad that I couldn't eat hardly anything for about a week! So I went to my doctor and got some new medication (he also recommended surgery - I said maybe after the end of this year I'd consider it but NOT NOW.) I started Dexilant on Thursday and almost immediately it made the worst symptoms more bearable. (Worst symptoms being chest pain that radiates up into my neck, through my back and down my arms, a stomach ache, shortness of breath, a sore throat, and difficulty swallowing...) I know I will more than likely need surgery to correct this but I have too much going on right now to consider being out of commission. The thing that REALLY pisses me off about the GERD is that I don't fit the profile... I'm not overweight, I don't smoke, and I eat a low fat diet. In fact, I haven't had fast food in over 2 years!!! So I am not sure why I have it so bad... But anyway... The pain and discomfort made working out impossible and it actually started to depress me quite a bit. I haven't lifted weights in 3 weeks and I didn't skate as much as I wanted to last week... I'm so grateful that the medicine is working enough to encourage me to get back on track and improve my mood. I just need to keep it under control long enough to finish out the year...

Today I skated 27.5 miles on the new Street Fights and Bones Swiss speed bearings. My new wheels are broke in and ready to go, so I'll swap them out tonight and save them for the race. I got myself a pair of eZeeFit ankle booties (I have a raw spot on my inner left ankle and one on my outer right ankle) and they worked like a dream! No pressure or rubbing and they made my boots fit a little snugger too. Very comfortable. I also tried out a pair of compression shorts - I'm not really sure what they're supposed to do but they felt pretty comfortable! I have one more skate on Wednesday - I plan on 13-15 miles of laps and breaking in the Storm Surges (In case it rains, I really hope it doesn't!) Then I'll be set for Northshore!

Here's a little video of me drafting a group of cyclists. Granted, they weren't going THAT fast, but it is still pretty cool to keep up with bikes...

Drafting Bikes 9-11-11

It has been a really fun journey. I've networked with other skaters through Facebook, Endomondo, and Inline Planet; several of them are doing Northshore too. Even though we are all in different states, I almost feel like we've been training together! I can't wait to see them and see how well they do. I'm rooting for them to hit all of their goals, and thank them for helping me set mine pretty high! (I am hoping to complete the marathon in 1:40 or less. I think that is TOTALLY feasible.)

It feels like autumn now, which makes me feel a little sad - I've been having such an amazing summer!!

Current Stats:
Best Marathon Time: 1:44:58 (achieved 9/9/11)
Best Half Marathon Time: 46:53 (achieved 8/6/11)
Miles Skated in 2011: 1116 (goal was 1000)

*happy trails!!*

Why the small victories taste so sweet

While embracing the journey that has been the year 2011 - I have made a lot of wonderful new friends. I realized that most of them have no idea what I've been through or where I came from - and therefore might not understand why even the smallest accomplishments feel so significant to me. So I thought I would do a quick recap and hopefully then it will make more sense.

In March of 1998, my younger brother Mike went into the hospital with what we thought was pneumonia. We soon found out that he was HIV positive and had reached the point of having full blown AIDS. We never even had a chance to learn how to deal with this because on April 14th, 1998: he died. He was only 24 years old. A month after that, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. After a very difficult fight, she passed away on October 24th, 1998 at the age of 54. My family was very tight knit, and at 27, I was still very much a mama's girl. We hadn't even begun to process through losing Mike when we had to focus on the fact that we were now also without our mother. We all fell apart in our own ways and I very loudly deconstructed.

My mom and little brother - I'm guessing this was taken in the late 80's/early 90's.

I pretty much lost my mind and ended up in a very unhealthy relationship. In August of 2000 I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and put on a myriad of drugs. None of the shrinks bothered to maybe just TALK to me and give me some tools to help cope with my grief - instead they put me through a hellish nightmare of psychotropic drugs; the side effects were unbearable. At one point I was taking seven different drugs a day. I gained 40 pounds in the span of a month. My hair thinned and fell out. I had panic attacks, trouble swallowing, hallucinations, tingling, twitching, nightmares, paranoia - it was by far and away the absolute worst period of my life. I became reclusive and couldn't hold a job. I knew my relationship was part of the problem but I was too fragile and far too weak to end it and strike out on my own. I wanted to die so badly but was too afraid to commit suicide so I just fell into this weird sort of existing without really living mode. IT WAS AWFUL. 

This is me in the summer of 2000. I think I was about 160 lbs.

At some point I became an advocate for my own health care. I did research. I learned that I could say 'no, I don't want to take that medication. Give me another option.' I started exercising, I was able to work again, and in 2005 I was finally able to end my marriage and start focusing on rebuilding my life. In 2006 I opted to dump ALL head meds and deal with the bipolar naturally. (Vitamins, diet, exercise, life stability.) I still have ups and downs but for the most part I am aware and can deal with minimal damage control needed!

Even with these life improvements, I still struggled to become the strong person I had always envisioned in my mind. Not just physically strong, but mentally and emotionally. I wanted to be fierce, fearless - empowered. But I couldn't figure out how to get there. I am not sure how or why - but at some point this year something inside of me finally clicked and I now feel like I am beginning to embody my vision. I am completely elated...

I couldn't have done it without the support of my current husband - who loves me, supports my dreams, and calls me on my bullshit. Or my dad, who was so stoked about my time at St Paul that I had to hold the phone away from my ear while he yelled with pride. Or all of my friends who have been with me from the beginning and who KNOW how far I've come - who tell me I inspire THEM. But most of all, I never gave up on myself. The strength had to have been there all along, I just needed to figure out how to mine it.

So... There you go - the painful, dirty details of what I consider to be the black hole of my life.

This has definitely been my year to thrive, and I am still going full speed ahead! I feel so resolutely driven that it's almost scary! (Driven. what a new sensation for me. I'm used to the motto 'when the going gets tough - I'm outta here'.) I reached my goal of 1000 miles skated in 2011 on August 27th - and I believe I may be able to tack an additional 500-700 miles to that number. The Northshore Marathon is in less than 3 weeks and I am SO excited!! I can't wait to experience that race! I am also signed up for Athens to Atlanta, I will be completing the 38 mile stretch from Athens to Dacula. For me - this will definitely be a challenge of stamina and endurance and the true test of my ability. This is what I've been training for and I cannot wait! I still might try to wing the Houston marathon as well, maybe as an early Christmas present to myself!!! After that race it will be the beginning of ski season, and learning how to snowboard is on that list of goals I made at the beginning of the year...  

I have learned to treasure and cherish every moment life has to offer. Appreciate the beauty. Love the people who deserve your love, and let go of the ones who don't. But most of all - don't keep putting things off. If you can do something then do it! The feeling of actually accomplishing something is way more satisfying than the idea.

I am Northshore Bound!!

Well, I did it! I registered for the Northshore Inline Marathon on September 17th!!! My friend Susan lives in Hastings, so she'll pick me up from the airport on the 16th to make the 2.5 hour drive to Duluth: we'll arrive in time to check in and have a nice dinner. Saturday morning is the race, I signed up for wave 2 - so we start at 7:54 am. I also managed to get a hotel room within 10 minutes of the finish line!! My goal is to finish the race in under 2 hours: the faster the better!

http://northshoreinline.com/

After the race and a quick shower, (26.2 miles will put a serious funk on me! hahaha!!) we plan on doing some touristy sight seeing stuff! (Gooseberry Falls & Split Rock. I do not know what either of those things are, but Susan seems to think I will enjoy them!)

I am very excited to do my first full marathon, and I am really looking forward to spending some time with my friend! I hope to meet some new friends in Duluth as well! I still plan on doing Houston, I just couldn't wait that long to do another marathon! I have the BUG!!

So for now I will start the longer distance training again - I will set my distance goal for my weekday skates to 18-20 miles and my weekend skates to 25-30 miles. I plan on skating on the Street Fights again, because those wheels are friggin FAST!!

I need to make sure I pace myself so I do not burn out before the end of the race... I have a habit of going balls to the wall for the first 13-15 miles, pacing myself for several miles; then dragging ass the last 3-5 miles. I don't want to drag ass at all... :)

Hope to see some of my new skater friends in Duluth!!

Having a pivotal year!

piv·ot·al/ˈpivətl/Adjective

1. Of crucial importance in relation to the development or success of something else.

2. Vitally important: critical.

As I sat on my ass in front of the TV watching the ball drop on New Years Eve, I contemplated new years resolutions. I hate making resolutions; I never stick to them. So a friend of mine suggested I use the word 'intentions' instead - the word 'intention' doesn't sound nearly as binding as 'resolution', so maybe with a little wiggle room I might actually achieve some success. I set about making a list of new years 'intentions'. I did not realize that I was about to begin an extremely pivotal and monumentally important year.

My first intention for this - the year I turned 40 - was to get into the best shape of my life. Period. Once and for all. I started out the year carrying an extra 10+ lbs of winter squishiness; and now - except for a bit of a muffin top (which I hear is common for someone who is 'my age') I have reached this intention. From here I will strive to become stronger, leaner and healthier; but I am currently in the best shape I've ever been in. And it feels amazing!

My second intention for this year was to skate 500 miles... Then 700... Then 1000. Currently I am at 867 miles skated for 2011; so 1000 is well within my reach. Skating no longer became just about the mileage goals however; I wanted to become faster and better. It has been an evolution of sorts - I can't even begin to describe how cool it is to feel the transformation of recreational skater (all gawky upright stance, arms all over the place, legs stick straight) into a more fluid and intense skater. I still have a lot of work to do but just knowing that I've evolved this much gives me the enthusiasm to continue to grow. It is an ongoing process and I love every minute of it!

My third intention was geared towards my career. I initially wanted to work to move forward within the company I'm at now. I've been here 4 years and I'm completely stagnant. I tried - believe me I tried - to get ahead but for some reason I cannot. The frustration, and the apathy, and this feeling of being STUCK has led me to decide to go back to school... I've been kicking it around for YEARS, but fear has kept me from pursuing it. About a month ago (after a particularly drab day in cubicle HELL) I made the decision, applied for admission at the local community college; and started making plans for life AFTER payroll... I am going for a Human Performance/Fitness Science degree. I want to help people get to where I am at, I want to do something that I feel passionately about. I am very excited and cannot wait to get started! After I get my A.A.S, I will sit for the Health Fitness Instructor certification. From there, I will work for 500 hours (probably doing personal training or some other type of instruction) after that I hope to sit for another certification that will allow me to work with people who have special needs; disabilities, or recovering cancer patients, or veterans; something like that. I believe that this will give me a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Somewhere during this journey I've been taking all year - this vital, important year - I've developed some really strong self confidence. And I attribute it to the skating. See, I've always been an EPIC under-achiever. Someone who is average across the board. To see how far I've come with my skating has given me the confidence to BELIEVE that I am actually capable of doing so much more in so many other areas. I don't HAVE to be average. I'm definitely not average when it comes to inline skating; I'm pretty good and only getting better. Wow, what an amazing feeling... I feel like I can do anything, and that confidence trumps the fear... Finally. Chris -1, Fear - 0.

So here I am. 8 months into 2011. I start school next month - just one class for now. (It's been 20 years since I've taken any classes - it's probably best to start slow...) I have a plan that has me working here for one more year, then going part-time to work/full-time to school with the hopes of graduating sometime in 2014. I am on an amazing fitness journey, now I have even more reasons to keep at it; I want to be an example of practice what you preach, I mean - who can trust a fat personal trainer??

The true test will come when the weather changes, and the days get shorter, and I can't skate every day: but I don't intend to HAVE an off season this year. I have warm clothes; I figure if the sun is out and there is no snow on the ground (and it's not below 45 degrees) I don't see any reason why I can't skate. I also plan on doing some skiing/snowboarding. Why not? I bet it would be a blast... and life should be an adventure!

I skated last night. I didn't want to, I have been fighting a head cold and had a pretty bad sinus headache. The sky looked stormy. The wind was blowing. But the desire to be wheels down was too strong - I hadn't skated in a WEEK! So, I figured I'd just take it easy, do a short 10 mile roll and then head home to relax... Funny thing, once I hit the trail, my body took over. I skated pretty hard. I got rained on. I went full out for almost 16 miles and maintained a 15.1 mph average. The wind was in my face the entire way back. I didn't care - I was in my happy place. This year has been one of the best I've had in a very long time. No matter what happens; I am going to always, always treasure the way I feel right now.

(I'm still trying to make Northshore happen - I cannot WAIT to do a full marathon!!!)

The Minnesota Half Marathon!

So the Minnesota half marathon was this past Saturday and I did it!! My husband and I arrived in Minneapolis on Friday, my husband dealing with a horrible cold (that I kept praying would spare me - at least until after the race!!!!) My friend Susan (who lives there) picked us up from the airport. We hit up the expo at the hotel (kind of disappointing) did some walking around, then Susan and I drove the race course. There was one part that had me a little scared; the first turn was an off ramp that was downhill with a sharp left turn. The rest of the course looked totally manageable. I tried not to obsess over that turn.... After we got back to the hotel, I FINALLY got a chance to meet my friend Kelly. He's been a bit of a mentor and inspiration to me so it was really cool to finally meet him.

We were up at 5 am the next morning, and I woke up feeling sick!!!! But once I got up and got ready, I was feeling a bit better. We headed out for a quick breakfast (cereal bar and a banana) then down to the starting line. Along the way we stopped to admire the view - I love early morning!

We got to the starting line and I laced on my skates for a few warm up laps around the road - test the surface and get my muscles warm; as well as get my head in the right place. I had a little bit of a sore throat but overall I felt really good!

I saw my friend Kelly and we lined up next to each other. I wished him a good [and safe] race; and next thing I knew, it was our turn to head out!!! We started up the road towards that scary turn and I kept trying not to think about it. I tagged onto the backs of various pace lines to snake my way through the masses and break out of the pack. Each time a pace line slowed down, I broke off and found a faster one. I was starting down the off ramp at the back of a pace line, but I got scared and slowed down... As I rounded the turn I realized that I could have made the turn a lot faster. I worked to catch back up with the pace line and skated with them for a while. 

This is the pace line I moved in and out of. They could NOT maintain a consistent pace and that frustrated me. I skated in/along side them for a good 8 miles before finally breaking away and skating on my own. (You can see me off to the side getting ready to break away again)

I drafted a few skaters here and there but it seemed like I had some type of advantage on the hills. I've been training on hills at altitude, so sprinting up the hills felt like a breeze. I passed the majority of the skaters I passed on the uphill portions of the race. Another really cool thing was that my muscles seemed to recover from the sprints super fast, so they felt ready to work after only a few seconds of resting! It surprised me!! 

Towards the end of the race, I was skating along side and behind 3 or 4 women. As I steadily passed them one by one; one woman seemed highly annoyed that I passed her. She made a point (and a comment) as she got back in front of me. Fine, get in front of me - I just drafted her for the last part of the race!!! Here are a couple shots of me and the annoyed girl coming up to the finish line. The two women behind me are skaters who started out well ahead of me!!!

Passing the finish line!! Whew that was sooo awesome!!!

I felt REALLY strong, and I had worked really hard; so I figured I had done pretty well; but I had NO idea I did as well as I did!!! According to my Endomondo tracking on my phone - I averaged 16.6 mph!!! 

My official time was 47:28.94. I finished 20/170 women, 6/40 in my age division; and 73/376 overall!!!!! That is WAY better than I had expected!!!! 

Me with my friend Susan! It was so good to see her!

Me and Kelly

my husband (and awesome photographer) Allen and I, he is SO supportive!!!

That was an amazing experience and I had SO MUCH FUN!! Now I'm thinking I may just do the Northshore marathon next month because I don't think I can wait until November to do another race!!! I am officially HOOKED!!!