My Inline Skating Journey

Why I Love To Skate

2012-02-16T17:07:00.000-08:00

As race season looms and I find myself stressing over whether or not I'll be ready for the Texas Road Rash in time, [and trying to reconcile my extreme reluctance to commit to indoor skating,] I figured I'd better take a minute to refresh my memory as to WHY I love to skate.

From the moment I strapped on my very first pair of skates and took to the trails like a duck on a pond; I have been hooked. As I fly along the trails, smelling the fresh air mixed with sweat and sunscreen; tasting the raspberry-lemonade lip balm I wear, feeling the sunshine on my skin, hearing my favorite songs in one ear and the soothing swishing sound of my wheels in the other - I am truly at peace. No other type of motion satisfies all of my senses like skating does. I feel my muscles burn and flex, I hear the sound of my breath, I feel the pounding of my heart: and I feel alive.

There are many components to the complete definition of my passion - it's not just about strapping on the skates and going. I have a whole ritual that I do prior to and upon completion of a skate. It's as much a part of my workout as the actual skate itself, and I find a lot of comfort in the whole routine. While out on my skate, I experience a very heightened sense of awareness, I'm completely in the moment - participating in being a part of the world and not just watching it go by. I feel very connected to nature and to myself.

I think that is probably why I can't really get myself stoked for skating indoors. While I had a good time when I did go, and I think the people I skated with are great - it just wasn't the same experience for me. I had fun but at the same time, it felt like work. I always told myself that the minute skating went from being fun to being work then it was time to seriously re-evaluate what I was doing. Being indoors skating in circles may help me gain some better skating skills; but that's just not good enough for me. My senses are not engaged enough and I need that. I think that may be another reason I decided not to do the Metrodome marathon - I would just rather be outside!

February will be over in 13 days and March is usually when my skate season really begins. Part of my little routine is anticipating the colder days and shorter evenings - racing against the setting sun, avoiding the patches of ice and feeling like a little kid having play time after school. I'm so ready for it....

And as for racing, well, as long as it stays fun as I really get into competing then I will be okay. I guess I need to remind myself not to stress over it and just get out there and enjoy the overall experience: rather than focusing on the numbers.

Why do I skate? To experience this:

And this...

... and this...

And this...

And even this! (Skating in January!)

Skating is definitely my happy place and the great outdoors is where it's at....

Food as Nourishment vs. Food as Reward

2012-02-14T11:15:00.000-08:00

Like just about everyone else I know, I have always struggled with my diet. When I was a kid, I would spend my allowance money on candy and sodas. I have fond memories of hanging out with my friends, eating giant bars of taffy, Snickers, 3 Musketeers, and Hostess pastries all washed down with sugary sodas... I also ate a lot of fast food and processed snacks. Not surprisingly, I was a pretty chunky adolescent who eventually 'leaned out' in high school. My diet, however - did not. I ate a steady stream of candy, soda, and fast food. In my late teen years I had a period of time where I had a bit of an eating disorder (binge eating) but that's some nasty stuff that I would prefer not to talk about.

Like many people, food is not just about nourishing and fueling my body. It's about reward, and comfort, and satisfying things other than a rumbling in my stomach. For example, the sight of a Big Mac brings back memories of a really fun summer and almost makes me want to eat one 'just for old time's sake' - and that right there is where the brain gets involved in a digestive matter it has no business influencing. When I'm depressed I crave sweets - primarily chocolate; because of the Dopamine boost. In the winter I crave heavy comfort foods, because of the memories tied to the savory smells and flavors. When I'm stressed I graze, usually on things like Cheetos or minature chocolate bars. Even my coffee addiction has ties to the brain - memories of mornings spent quietly sipping a cup of coffee with my mom.

Re-wiring your brain to view food as fuel and consciously nourishing your body with quality foods that it genuinely needs - things like lean proteins, the 'good' fat, vegetables, and 'clean' carbohydrates - is incredibly difficult. The brain can be like a spoiled child when it doesn't get it's way. I had a stressful day on Friday and to placate a demand for something sweet I instead ate a small handful of raw almonds. My brain threw a temper tantrum and eventually I gave it something sweet to shut it up. That then triggered a feeling of failure and the cycle continued on. I know the key to success in any type of change is repetition until the change becomes a habit. I managed to get to a point where I no longer eat fast food or drink soda, and when I do eat or drink these things now my body feels like crap. My brain seems to have accepted this so when I do start thinking about 'maybe' I'm reminded of how I will feel later. (Sluggish, lethargic, with digestive distress. Yeah. I'll pass.)

I consider this to be a major win, and that is why I feel so frustrated with my current food struggles - primarily my reliance upon sugar. I am not sure what I did or how I did it - but one day I just stopped eating out and drinking soda. I can't even remember my reasons why; I'm guessing it was weight related. I hear people telling me to 'have a cheat day' so I don't feel like I'm denying myself, but to me, that's rewarding yourself for doing something that you should be doing anyway. If I go 6 days without eating any sweets and then on the 7th day I allow myself a piece of pie - guess what? That opens a door for me. It's my cheat day! Why not throw a bacon cheeseburger with a chocolate shake in there for good measure?? Why not... It just doesn't work for me. I need to re-wire my brain to see that a handful of raw almonds is just as rewarding as a brownie.. (Good luck with that, right?)

I had a good friend compare the sugar addiction to that of alcoholism; alcoholics don't get a cheat day, so why should a person who is breaking a sugar addiction? She has been fairly successful in re-wiring her brain and knew exactly how many sweet items she'd consumed in the past 3 months. (Four. How can you possibly say no to birthday cake??) I tried the cold turkey thing and that was epic failure. Right now, I'm doing baby steps. I haven't bought any new flavored coffee creamers so once it's gone, it's gone. I have skim milk and sugar in the raw and I am sincerely hoping that eventually my brain and my mouth will adapt to the new texture and flavor.

What it all boils down to is making choices and paying attention to the reasons why we make the choices we make. No one else can teach my brain that 'it tastes good' isn't a good enough reason for me to choose to eat a cheeseburger over grilled chicken. Or that I don't need to eat a bag of jelly beans while I read a book because 'that's what I always do'. I have to consciously make the choice to ignore the cupcakes on the snack table even though my co-workers are making noises of pure pleasure as they consume them (the bastards.) This is my body, my life - and my health. If I want it, I have to earn it. My body is on board, now to pursuade my brain...

Me vs. The Wagon

2012-02-06T08:11:00.000-08:00

I've probably mentioned before how much I envy people who are able to stick to the commitment that a healthy lifestyle demands. Me personally? I'm an on again, off again kind of gal... I'll get on board, get used to eating clean and working out - then something will knock me off. Maybe it's the hormone flux that demands to be fed creamy treats, or it's stress at work that makes me polish off a bag of cheetos without even realizing it; ('where the heck did all of this orange powder come from???') or maybe it's just the winter blahs that steal my motivation and turn me into a sloth. Whatever the reason [excuse] it is frustrating as hell.

One thing that knocks me off the nutrition wagon is good ol' boredom. I get stuck in a cooking rut and get burned out. It becomes so much simpler to eat out, order in; fatten up. I try really hard to avoid preparing overly processed foods at home (stuff like hamburger helper - gag) but eating out isn't any better. You simply cannot know what you are putting into your body unless you prepare it yourself... I lose sight of this simple fact quite easily... (And when I stop to really think about it, I get a little queasy...)

But my biggest downfall is sweets. I'm completely okay living without deep fried, fatty foods. I can live without pizza or pasta or bread. I'd have a little trouble giving up tortilla chips and salsa; but I can live without potato chips. Whenever I review my diet to see where the heck I'm screwing up; it's usually something sweet. I've noticed recently that I've become quite addicted to flavored coffee creamers. Because they are so delicious, I've started drinking more coffee. I'm up to 4-5 cups per DAY.

So lets say the average flavored creamer serving size is a tablespoon. In that tiny little amount, you have 35 calories, 5 grams carb, 2 grams of fat, and 5 grams of sugar. I usually dump 2-3 tablespoons per cup. So if I've had 5 cups of coffee, I've consumed 175 calories, 25 grams of carbs, 10 grams of fat; and 25 grams of sugar: JUST from the damn coffee creamer... That is a LOT of crap to be taking in with absolutely NO nutritional value! It's all mental and it's a vicious cycle. This is what I've noticed - I get a caffeine/sugar high; followed by a crash. I feed in more sugar/caffeine and ride the cycle again: crash harder. I've been feeling like shit lately. No wonder I don't have any energy to work out!

So. I have caught back up with the wagon. I've realized once again that I have to pay attention to what I'm putting into my body - I can't just randomly eat. I'm back to tracking my meals on myfitnesspal.com, focusing on eating quality proteins, carbs, and vegetables while keeping my sugar intake as low as possible. This morning I had 1 1/2 cups of coffee w/ non-fat half and half and sugar in the raw. It wasn't nearly as delicious as the flavored creamer but my taste buds will adapt.

I have race season coming up. I have set some pretty lofty goals. In the months ahead I will be placing demands on my body that I cannot possibly expect it to live up to unless I give it what it needs to perform. Nutrition. Vitamins. Water. Exercise. Sleep....

Below is a photo of one of my role models; Debbie Rice. She is amazing. If I ever look half as good as she does in a skinsuit then I'll wear one to work!! :)

Yesterday I lifted weights and began tweaking my diet. Today is day 2...

Let it snow...

2012-02-03T16:05:00.000-08:00

A week ago, I was out skating in shorts and a t-shirt. Today we have about 2 feet of snow outside... So I got outside to snowshoe around the neighborhood!

It took over 40 minutes to do a walk that usually takes me about 25. Snowshoeing is great exercise! It's fun, it gets you outside, and anyone can do it. If you can walk, you can snowshoe. Another great workout is running in the snow.

My boys were pretty worn out after this! :)

Texas Road Rash is in 78 days, I am hoping I get most of March to prepare for it. Until then, I'll do what I can! Hope everyone is having a great week!

First trail skate of 2012

2012-01-27T08:58:00.000-08:00

So yesterday was my first official trail skate of the year, and my first long distance skate on the new Bonts. I didn't place any kind of pressure on myself for speed or distance; I figured I'd go about 12-15 miles, work on getting used to the feel of the skates, maybe work on plow and t-stops; and have a nice, easy outing. I put them on, hit the trail, and I was like a duck on a pond! It seemed as if the faster I went, the more graceful and in control I felt. I hit the 7 mile mark and didn't feel like turning around. I hit the 10 mile mark, and didn't feel like turning around. I decided to turn around at 8th avenue (which is about the 14 mile mark) but once I got there, I noticed that the detour was gone and the new portion of the trail was open! So of COURSE I had to go check it out... I ended up at confluence park - 15.91 miles one way. I took a little break to enjoy the sunshine!

As I relaxed a bit, I began to notice a few things. First of all, my feet were tingly and tight. My calves were sore. I was TIRED... OOooooooh crap. I had a feeling the ride home wasn't going to be nearly as enjoyable as the ride out had been!! I rested for about 10 minutes then started heading back. Of course, the wind was in my face for about 5 solid miles; this made me even more tired... My legs started cramping, my feet were hurting and I was practically limping that last 7 miles. With one mile left to go, a twig got caught in one of my skates and almost took me down. Once again, I managed to somehow slow down while balanced on one foot with something stuck in the other one. That last mile seemed to take forever...

When I got back to my truck, I felt like I was going to pass out!! My legs were cramped, and I was exhausted. While taking off my right boot my calf suddenly seized up and had me in agony... This hasn't ever happened before!! Obviously I overdid it; I mean, I haven't been skating regularly in months, and I haven't really been exercising either. I think I put my poor body into shock by expecting any kind of performance out of it after an extended period of being sedentary. My bad. I'm paying for it now! Oh, I also have some raw spots on my ankles; identical on each foot.

I was told by several people that this was caused from toe pushing. I can tell you that it was caused by exhaustion = sloppy skating. My form went to crap with about 10 miles left to go; and that's about the time I started feeling the burning pain. I take full responsibility for the raw spots on my feet, the cramped muscles in my legs, and the lower back pain I'm experiencing today...

Even though I pushed myself way more than I should have (an overzealous 31.77 miles to be exact) it was not a total loss! The skates feel pretty good, and I felt in control in them pretty quickly. I will take it easy next time and work my way back up to it. I can say that I have a really good feeling about this year, I think it's going to be awesome!!!!

36.58 miles down for 2012, 1463.42 to go...

Another year

2012-01-25T12:00:00.000-08:00

Today is my 41st birthday. When I was a kid, I thought 40 was ancient... But now that I'm here, I feel more alive and more youthful than I ever did in my 20's or 30's. (Aside from the fact that I can't stay up all night anymore... However, I do get up way before noon nowadays so I think it's a pretty even trade-off.)

Sometimes I wish I would've discovered this whole world of inline skating while back in my 20's - but then I think about the person I was back then. I was insecure, and self-conscious, I had low self-esteem and zero self-confidence. I recall one time while I was working out at the gym, I overheard a girl make a comment about my butt. I was so mortified that I didn't go back to the gym for over a week.. And when I did, I was wearing an oversized t-shirt... Speed skaters know that you cannot obsess over how your ass looks in spandex, because while skating in a pace line your ass is less than a foot away from the person behind you. The last thing you need to be worried about is how your butt looks because you need to be 100% focused on what's in front of you!

I love being in my 40's. It's like having the best of both worlds. If you are healthy and active; you still feel like a kid when your body is in motion. But you also have the wisdom that can only come with life experience. You learn how to feel comfortable in your own skin, accepting who you are - and all of your adorable flaws - embracing them instead of obsessing over them. I feel a lot more at ease with the world and my place in it. I also feel more defined, and definitely a lot more confident!

I also feel like this is the right place and the right time for me to be doing exactly what I am doing. My body feels like it's up for the challenge, my head definitely does; and my heart is completely into it. As for my butt, well, thanks to genetics I had skater butt long before I ever became a skater; and it's only becoming more pronounced. I'm actually kind of proud of it...

Unpredictable Variables

2012-01-23T08:17:00.000-08:00

Every fitness journey has unpredictable variables that disrupt the flow, toss you off track, derail you and distract you; kind of like cosmic monkey wrenches flung from left field to completely muck up the works. Sometimes it's illness or an old injury acting up, an unexpected project at work, or if you have kids - well, kids themselves are little walking monkey wrenches. Either way, we all have them.

The primary unpredictable variable along my journey is bipolar disorder.

I was diagnosed in 2000 at age 29, but I've had it since my adolescent years. Best guess is that all of the trauma from 1998 kicked it into full gear - and with a vengeance. From my diagnosis in July of 2000 until September of 2006, I endured the unique hell that is psychotropic medication side effects. I reached a point where I chose to embrace my disorder rather than try to bury it under a chemical cocktail and for me, that's working. It got to a point where I had to make the decision that I would rather feel crazy than feel nothing at all, because those medications numb your very soul.

Learning to function with bipolar rather than quelch it is kind if like padding around with a restless tiger on a ribbon. I have bipolar II - which means the depressive cycles are worse than the manic ones. Over the years, my cycles have become fairly predictable, with pretty much the same indicators each time a new cycle begins. (Up, down, and 'normal'... But who's really to say what's normal?) Being aware and in tune with myself and how my mind works has helped me learn how to ride out the waves, as well as diet, exercise, and keeping my life as steady and predictable as possible. Keeping all of these things in line helps keep me fairly stable. Of course, I don't always keep that tiger under control but for the most part I function and cope and live my life.

I refuse to feel ashamed or embarrassed or stigmatized. I consider bipolar disorder to be a dash of exotic seasoning that makes me a little more interesting. There are positives to each cycle. When I'm riding the vivid waves of mania I'm creative, and funny, and I can clean a house like nobody's business! When the quiet blanket of melancholy wraps around me I become introspective and poetic; emotional and connected to the world in ways I can't even explain. Either way, up or down; I feel so much more alive. I will never, ever take any type of medication to cage this tiger again. To do so forces me to disavow a part of my very identity.

The downside of course, is how the cycles disrupt my routine. Hence it being a variable. Mania isn't an issue, while manic I can skate until the cows came home if I wanted to - and then skate with the cows! It's the depressive side that wields the monkey wrench. I feel fatigue leaching down into my very bones; like my blood is molasses. Things that are usually simple become a struggle. I stop caring and sink down inside of myself; down into places where I can hide from the world. It's frustrating, but it's also temporary. Knowing this always helps me ride it out.

Right around the end of September or the beginning of October, that blanket settles down around my shoulders. The delicious rush of mania subsides, and I grow still and contemplative. I write crappy poetry and reflect upon the world. I fill page after page of my journal with my upcoming plans; but most of all - I patiently wait. In March or April, when the days start getting a little longer and a little warmer; the blanket lifts and the cycle starts all over again. Each year it gets a little easier; maybe it's just because the tiger is getting older? ;)

"Aren't you afraid you'll fall??"

2012-01-17T09:18:00.000-08:00

Every single skater I know has heard these words at LEAST a half dozen times. Any time I tell anyone who is a non-skater that I'm working on becoming a speed skater, I hear some variation of this phrase... Aren't you afraid of falling? Aren't you worried about crashing? Aren't you scared you'll wreck??

And to be quite honest, the answer is 'no'. I can't afford to be afraid because fear puts limits on what a person can accomplish. Not to say that I'm fearless because I'm not; I simply choose to NOT think about it. When I lined up at Northshore I was thinking about a million different things - I forgot my sunglasses, will the sun or wind be an issue? Will I run out of water? Am I with the right wave? Will I find a paceline that's going at the speed I want to skate? But not once did I allow the possibility of falling cross my mind. I saw three skaters fall - one right off the line - and I thought 'ouch, sucks to be them!' but I did not allow myself to wonder if I would be next. I almost bit it when the surface changed to that ridiculous ridged section but I caught myself, adjusted my stride, and continued forward without a second thought. I don't want to be hampered by the fear of 'what if', I want to be a speed skater.

There are a million things we do every single day that carry the What If factor. If you allow yourself to be governed by the fear of what MIGHT happen, how can you possibly enjoy life? Fear of falling would ruin skating for me! I am hyper vigilant when I skate the bike trail; my eyes constantly moving to keep all possible obstacles in my line of sight. I know what areas are usually congested and adjust my speed accordingly. I know what parts of the trail will be littered if it's rained the night before, and I know what portion tends to have gravel on it. I even know where to expect the geese. When I race an unfamilar track, I rely on the skaters in front of me to keep me aware of possible obstacles. Of course, I'm sure there may come a time when I do fall, and if it happens - it happens. Life will go on, and I will continue to skate. I've taken diggers before and it wasn't the end of the world.

For any non-skaters who are afraid to try inline skating based on a fear of falling - I honestly don't know how to convince you to stuff that fear into a box and focus instead on the benefits of skating. Fitness skating at a decent stride burns up to 800 calories an hour. Skating has no impact on your joints like running does. Skating gets you outside in the fresh air and sunshine, and you can cover a LOT more ground than running. But best of all, skating feels like flying, and no amount of What If can ever overtake that feeling.

To sock or not to sock - that is the question...

2012-01-16T07:45:00.000-08:00

Apparently there is quite a debate amongst skaters as to whether or not one should skate with socks or without socks. As a fitness skater, this was a no-brainer non-issue. I wore very cushy wigwam socks that attempted to keep my feet dry. (I say 'attempted' because I am a turbo sweat-machine. I swear I have sweat glands over every inch of my body...) When I'm done with a hard skate I look like I just got out of a swimming pool and I smell like a truck driver after a 12 hour shift! So any materials that can 'attempt' to help manage this will be utilized by yours truly.

Last year as I began to skate farther and harder, I developed some raw spots on my ankles. I was introduced to a wonderful product known as the eZeefit bootie. I got a pair and wore them underneath my socks. Raw spot problem solved! They are fantastic!

The eZeefit bootie

I swear by this product and figured that it would carry over to my speed skate adventure as well. I also figured that socks would too; because of the aforementioned turbo-sweat issue. I know a lot of skaters who skate with just the booties, and knowing my own sweat capabilities it makes me shudder at the thought of being one of these people. I don't care how many holes there are at the top of my boots; unless you have an industrial strength built- in fan, I sincerely doubt they'll do me much good. I envision my poor feet swimming. Unpleasant.

So, I went to Sports Authority and purchased the absolute thinnest dry max type running socks I could find. Seamless, thin, wicking. Sweet. I put them on over the bootie, shoved my foot in my skate; and my foot was numb within minutes. Sucky.

Dry Max hyper thin running socks

I am now wondering if I will end of being an 'either/or' person. Either I skate w/ the booties or I skate w/ socks. Unless my boots stretch a little over time to allow the room - I cannot have both.

A few of my skater friends were debating the pros and cons of 'barefoot' skating vs. socks, and the arguments were interesting (and amusing.) The biggest argument against barefoot skating was The Stench Factor. The odors produced by a sweaty skate are pretty significant - but I can tell you from experience that wearing socks is NO guarantee that you won't stink. (My truck smells like a locker room during the summer; and no one will ride in it.) Advice received included putting paper towels in the skates immediately after taking them off; then a couple of hours later popping some dryer sheets in them. Another suggestion was a handy $20 item known as a Peet shoe dryer. After skating, you just put your boots on this gadget and let it dry them out for you.... I'm seriously considering investing in one of these...

Peet Shoe Dryer

There were also many suggestions for sprays, liners, powders, and those little deodorizing balls... The line between the socked and the sockless was pretty even - and their arguments are all pretty compelling. Those for the barefoot skating cite that your toes can grip the bottom of the skate better offering more control. I actually experienced this a little yesterday while skating indoor, but also noticed it got a little slippery in there as well. I tried not to think about it. Personally I want to be able to wear socks with my skates - but the booties offer blister protection in those areas where I am most vulnerable.... So maybe I should try this out?

The eZeefit FULL FOOT BOOTIE....

This quite possibly could offer the best of BOTH worlds and solve my problem completely... So what about you? Are you among the socked? Or the sockless?

The Great Indoors

2012-01-15T13:49:00.000-08:00

Today was a really good day. It was a day of firsts; first time skating indoor, and first time skating on my new Bonts!!

My boots arrived on January 12th, I was so excited I drove down to FedEx and picked them up instead of waiting to have them delivered. I put the frames & high rollers on just to see what they look like and in my opinion, they truly are a thing of beauty:

Of course, there is currently about a foot of snow outside and the trails and streets are icy and gross; so no outdoor skating for me just yet. Instead I did laps around my dining room table with two excited dogs chasing me. It was great fun! Without the option to hit the trails I will be doing indoor skating for the next couple of months. I have to say, though; it's been YEARS since I've skated at a skating rink! I have visuals of dimmed lights, a disco ball, carpeted walls and 'Tom Sawyer' blaring on the speakers... (Yeah, it's seriously been THAT long...) So my visual of indoor skating looks a little like this -

I'm happy to report that it was nothing like that. The Rocky Mountain Speed skaters are super nice and very helpful; they made me feel welcome and gave me lots of great advice. My nervousness disappeared almost immediately so I could focus on enjoying myself.

(I brought my small camera but all of the pictures came out crappy so I apologize in advance for that...)

That photo is a blurry mess but that's me on the far right. In spite of feeling like a complete and utter newbie on my skates; I had a blast!! I participated in the practice, and although not as fast or as polished a skater, I felt like I did okay! I worked on crossovers (clunky and clumsy) and a few other things, I know it's just a matter of time. I have the desire to be a better skater so I'm very willing to learn. I feel that what I take from this experience will definitely benefit my outdoor skating. Now is the time to focus on form, and learning some basics (like stopping!) the speed will come!

a blurry me with James

My skates fit like a glove, I had some areas of rubbing on the tops of my toes on my right foot but other than that nothing felt uncomfortable. (and when I took my boots off, I had no blisters or raw spots; just some redness.) I was able to lace them, but I cannot fit both a sock AND an EzeeFit bootie in the boots. It's either one or the other. I opted for the bootie. Hopefully after a few skates they'll stretch a little more so I can fit a sock in there!

My indoor set up

The difference between the Bonts and the K2s is unbelievable. They feel so much lighter and I feel like I can move and maneuver around a lot easier. I am so looking forward to seeing what I can get out of these skates!

My new skates vs. my old ones. What a difference!

Reconciling my Fears

2012-01-03T15:23:00.000-08:00

I wish I could say that I am fearless. I wish I could tell you that I can stand with my soul wide open in the face of something that terrifies me without figuratively peeing down my own leg. But I can't. I am not a warrior. I'm cautious. I'm hesitant. I'm scared of the unknown. I have friends who can fly - down the side of a mountain on skis, on snowboards, on mountain bikes - down 40 degree hills on inline skates with no brakes; and although they might bite it and end up ass over heels, they bounce right back up and keep on soaring. [More than likely sporting some bruises, road rash and/or broken bones: but as soon as they heal they are right back out there.]

I am not like this. I really wish I were. It pains me to admit this out loud, but I cannot be true to myself or true to my inline journey without first owning up to my fears. When I take a digger that seriously injures me, it often breaks more than just the surface of my skin. It gouges my self-confidence. It makes me afraid. When I was 25, I bought a mountain bike. I was fearless. I never even considered the fact that I could get hurt. One day out on a trail in the mountains, I hit the root of a tree wrong and went flying over my handle bars. I landed head first into a river. (Yes, I was wearing a helmet and yes, it probably saved me from serious harm.) I wasn't hurt, just very shaken. (And wet)... Suddenly, the reality of injury was apparent; and I've never been able to ride like that since. So, as I'm getting ready to make the transition from a soft, cushy, fully supportive recreational skate (WITH a heel brake) to a full racing skate without a brake or full ankle support - I'm beginning to experience some fears... Irrational, idiotic, unrealistic, or otherwise; here they are...

First and foremost - what if I can't do this? What if everything I accomplished last year marked the pinnacle of my skating experience? What if I'm not meant to be any greater than I've already been? What if I'm setting myself up for humiliating failure?

What if I can't get the hang of the speed skates? What if I can't stop, and this time when that stupid goose crosses the trail in front of me I take us both out??

What if I can't accomplish my goals? The mileage goal. The time goal. The skating events? What if I've bitten off more than I can chew?

What if I get seriously injured? Would that make me too afraid to do the one thing in my life that makes me feel like I'm flying?

Hmmm, wait a minute... The very first time I strapped on a pair of inline skates (also at age 25) I took off down the trail and I didn't even know how to stop. I was crossing a busy street and cars were coming straight at me; in a panic I went down, ass over heels across the intersection. I was picking gravel out of my shoulder for two days... And all that did was make me take the time to learn how to stop. The first time I got clipped by a cyclist, I went skidding along the trail and completely tore up my knee... And all that did was make me decide to skate with my earbud out of my left ear so I could hear cyclists coming. And then there was A2A. The sheer terror I felt the night before when hearing all of the things I could expect on that road skate, I was scared, I was hesitant; but I did it. So maybe I do have a little bit of a warrior in me after all.

I guess the point is that I am afraid that I won't be able to live up to the expectations I've set for myself. Of course, the only way to find out is to get out there and do what I feel I need to do. For me. Because I really believe that I can. And if my skate history is any indication of what to expect - if I fail, it'll only make me do what I need to do to succeed.

Bring on 2012 - My skating goals!

2012-01-01T08:46:00.000-08:00

Well, I slept through the start of the new year, but it's all good. I don't think how you ring in the new year defines what you intend to do with it: I woke up to 2012 filled with ambition and plans!

I am still waiting on my custom Bont boots; they should be here within the next 15 days (and I can't hardly wait!!) I got my frames and a set of Bont 105mm mint high rollers so I just need the boots!

These frames are a work of art - IMO.. ;)

My skating goals for 2012:

Miles: 1500
Events: 3 - possibly 4. The events I for sure would like to participate in are Texas Road Rash (Round Rock TX - April 21st), Napa Valley (Napa Valley CA - July 8th), and Northshore (Duluth MN - September 15th). My maybe events include Rolling on the River (Grand Forks ND - August 25th) and the Minneapolis half marathon (August 5th). - Of course, this is all contingent upon $$$$...
Marathon Time: 1:25. (This is about 9 minutes faster than my Northshore official time of 1:34.02)
Do at least one race at the pro level. I just think this would be really fun and challenging!
Indoor: I will be starting indoor skating on January 15th - I wanted to wait for the Bonts before starting. I have indoor wheels so once I get my boots I will be ready to go! The main things I hope to accomplish with indoor are - learning cross overs, getting more comfortable w/ pack skating, working on my form, and stopping without a brake. I figured that transitioning from a rec skate to a true speed skate would be a little less daunting in the controlled environment of an indoor rink. I hope I am correct in that assumption!
Outdoor: Once again my outdoor goals are basically skating 3-4x per week; 12-20 miles on weeknights; 25-35 on weekends. My intentions are to work on technique, building endurance; and of course - getting faster. (Of course, this is all contingent upon the weather - I won't be able to really get into this routine until March/April.)

My general fitness goals are the same as they always are; weight training 3x a week, and getting myself lean and tight. I will be skating in a skin suit this year; I do not want to look like a jelly donut wrapped in saran wrap! My primary struggles are with motivation - and nutrition. My two main issues when it comes to nutrition are willpower and cravings. I have gotten myself to the point of no longer eating nor craving greasy fast food; but sweets still stand as the number 1 barrier to my success. I need to find healthy, satisfying alternatives to keep me on track.

After a slow start, 2011 was a moderately successful year for me. I skated 1380 miles (my goal was 1000) I skated 3 skating events (my goal was 1) and I managed to place in two of those events!! I made a TON of new friends, and being in contact with other skaters motivated me more than anything!! The year didn't quite end the way I had hoped it would, but overall I am very happy with how it all turned out!

So. Thus begins my 2012 journey. I hope that all of my friends find and maintain direction on their chosen paths. It is so easy to get side tracked; the key is finding your way back. Happy Skating!!

EDIT - I am currently registered for Texas Road Rash, Napa Valley, and Northshore. Hope to fit one more in there!

Wrapped in the blanket

2011-12-06T09:05:00.000-08:00

There are three things I can always count on happening right around the end of September...

1.) The leaves start changing colors,
2.) The weather starts getting cooler, and
3.) I start getting depressed, lethargic, and fat.

I had an absolutely amazing summer and was riding a wave of momentum like none I've ever experienced before. I felt invincible. I felt DRIVEN. I had my hopes up that the strength of this tide would push me right over the seasonal slump without even slowing me down. Instead, it was as if I were skating full steam ahead down the bike trail and my wheel hit a rock: I stopped dead and went sprawling head over ass onto the pavement; landing face first and skidding along for miles... Road rash of the soul - all the way down the full length of it...

Unfortunately, I'm used to this, this has been my reality for as far back as I can remember. Every Autumn I feel myself start to wind down, and a cold, damp blanket of melancholy settles around my shoulders; extinguishing my fire. I crave carbs and sleep; or external stimulation to keep me out of my head. I become anti-social. I have no energy or motivation. Just making it into work is a major victory because all I want to do is hide.

This morning I put on my favorite pair of dress pants - and they don't fit. I felt alarm and despair; but not surprise. I hate this... I haven't exercised since I took a 27+ mile skate on November 27th... I've been eating without any regard or wisdom. If it tastes good it goes into my face; calories be damned.. I honestly do not want this cycle to end like it always does: spring rolls around and I spend the first part of my skate season getting back into shape - losing the goo and gaining the endurance All. Over. Again. Starting from scratch year after year... I wanted to come out of the gate in pure fighting form: fit and strong by March. I just need to figure out how to reignite my fire without waiting for spring to come along and do it for me... I don't know how to combat this though; I feel so weary, right down into my bones.... I think I need a nap.

Getting cast for customs

2011-11-13T07:24:00.000-08:00

A year ago, I didn't even know that there were inline skating events. Today, I got my feet cast for a pair of custom inline racing skates. Can't wait to see what is going on a year from now!

So if any of you guys are unfamiliar with this process (as I was a few short months ago) then this blog should be interesting to you! I had my feet cast by Debbie Rice, a certified Bont representative (and bad ass derby girl!) Lucky for me, she was in in town heading up a Bont booth for the WFTDA derby championships. We drove about an hour north to meet up with her and she was kind enough to take time out of her schedule to play with my gnarly feet.

Me excited!

Debbie getting everything set up.

Metal strips taped to my ankles where the scissors cut the cast off, plastic bags on my feet to protect them from the plaster.

The actual casting material is rolled up like a sock. Debbie unrolled it, soaked it in some water, then put it on my foot; shaping and molding it securely around every little curve, bump and angle of the foot.

Positioning my feet; I am trying very hard to remember to keep them straight, keep my toes from bunching up, keep my ankles straight, do not pronate, not bend my needs inward; and so on... and so forth.... (I sincerely hope I got that right!!!!!)

I had to stand in this position for several minutes while the plaster hardened.

A cut is made along the front of the boot when the cast is dry, and removed from the foot.

The completed casts. These will be shipped to Bont where they will be filled with plaster, and them my new skates will be built around the molds!

My right toes felt a tad bunched; so I requested 3mm be added to the length. My ankles are also kind of scrawny in comparison to the width of my feet, so I requested extra padding in the cuff; and the cushy padding in the actual boot. I have some pretty bad bunions so I'm glad I decided to go ahead and get custom rather than deal with trying to work with a stock boot. My hope is that they will be fairly skate ready right out of the box with a minimal break in time. I should have them by my birthday. How appropriate!!

I am going with the 2012 Bont Z, I was so on the fence about which skate to go with until I saw a photo of that skate; and it was love at first sight. I went with boots only for now to save from this being such a big purchase all at once. (The 3PF frames are about 350 bucks - give or take: wheels run about 12 bucks a piece.) I should have all components well before spring and should be race ready by my first race - which will more than likely be Apostle Islands in June!!!

Now to get through the winter....

The Limbo of the Off Season

2011-11-07T07:38:00.000-08:00

Somehow within the past month, my skate season ended. After Athens to Atlanta, I was planning on participating in the Houston marathon but just could not financially make it happen. So without something to train for I suddenly felt myself going adrift. Toss in an abrupt end to the summer and I am completely lost. I'm still skating, but the trails are getting cluttered and the wind has that icy bite to it now; not to mention the sun setting so early. Summer slipped away without even saying goodbye and I have to admit - that hurt my feelings a little. I thought she and I were total BFFs...

I have pretty much taken about a month off from exercising, skating a couple of times after A2A but suspending weight training all together. I'm planning on getting back on track with all of that this week. (I do a hybrid mix of P90X weight workouts with the skating and other cardio. I don't like the cardio workouts that are a part of the program.) I feel that sloth-like urge to carb up and rev down; gain weight and hybernate. I seriously must fight this... I can't afford to jeopardize all of my 2011 progress. So - weight training it is, along with some running and skating when the weather permits. I just need to make sure I don't overthink it. I can sabotage a workout faster than ANYTHING just by thinking about it... "Ugh, first I have to walk over to the weight room, change my clothes, do my workout; then change AGAIN - walk back over to the office, I feel tired now..." The motto needs to be Don't Think Just Do. Keep it simple. Look at the clock, grab my stuff; and move...

I have to admit though, I am sincerely stoked for my 2012 skate season. I FINALLY decided on which skates I'm getting (the custom 2012 Bont Z 3pt 3PF w/ 100 mm mint high rollers!) I'm getting cast next Saturday and I cannot wait!

it is a thing of beauty in my mind, I cannot wait to get these on my feet! I know I will have a period of adjustment (no cuff, tighter fit; completely different feel) but I'm ready for it. I welcome the challenge and the change. I have some new, bigger skating goals for 2012, so I kind of need the gear!! I have already registered for NSIM in wave B. I also plan on skating Napa Valley and Apostle for sure; with a couple of 'possibles' on the list as well (Texas Road Rash, Chicagoland, NYC 100k, Athens to Atlanta again.) I just need to plan accordlingly to make sure I set aside the $$$ necessary to make my 2012 dreams come true!!

All I want to do is skate. I wish I could quit my job and skate every day. I wish I could skate every event in the country. I wish I could share my passion for skating with everyone - and I wish more people would try it out and see if they like it. I cannot imagine my life without this form of movement.

So that is where I am now; on the cusp of winter and still trying to change gears...

The Autumn Blues

2011-10-20T11:39:00.001-07:00

For some reason, for as far back as I can remember; the season change of summer into fall really messes with me. I feel it starting to happen around the middle of September, it's like summer is slipping away and she's taking a part of me with her.

All summer long, I feel so alive - fueled by the sun, the warm nights, the endless days. I can't get enough of it, I don't even want to sleep for fear I might miss something. It's as if I am plugged into the very essence of the season and glowing with the energy I'm siphoning in. When summer begins to wane and my energy starts to flag, my heart sinks. The little boxes in my head start opening up and make it impossible for me to live in the now - flooding my head with memories and melancholy. I start to feel weighed down and boneless, like my soul has the flu. Every year I hope will be THE year that I break the cycle. I was pretty confident that this year would be that year. I mean, with the sheer force of momentum I was riding, how could I possibly slow down?

I haven't skated since A2A - although the weather has been beautiful. My heart isn't in it. All I want to do is eat sweets and sleep. I don't want to go to school, in fact - I'm having doubts in my ability to do it. I have to admit - I'm having a really hard time writing this. I don't like to admit that I'm weak or vulnerable.... I like it better when I feel invincible. I just know that I'm not alone, and I do take comfort in the fact that my depressive stages are nowhere near as bad as they used to be.

I think of it this way - it's like that part of a long road trip when you're between points of interest and there is nothing but road and barren landscape. You just have to ride it out to get back to civilization. I will ride this out, and I'll get back on track - usually by the end of November. This stretch of road just sucks. A lot.

Athens to Atlanta recap

2011-10-11T08:13:00.000-07:00

There is this bike trail that runs along E470 just south of where I work - I skated it once and experienced gusty winds, extreme hills, and having to stop to cross the street at every intersection. I hated it. I never skated it again. I should have, however, because it would have been PERFECT training for the course in Athens....

We flew into Atlanta Saturday morning, got our rental car - then made the 2.5 hour drive up to Athens. I actually thought Athens was a pretty cool town; it kind of reminded me of Boulder; a laid back college town. We got settled into the hotel and went to pick up my packet. I chatted with Lenny for a bit about skate boots, got my feet measured, then we went to kill some time before the skater's meeting at 6. We strolled around, grabbed some dinner; and enjoyed the mild, sunny weather...

I'll admit, I've been feeling a little nervous about this event - fear of the unknown and all of that. In the skater's meeting, Henry gave us an idea of what to expect and my anxiety intensified. I am a trail skater, I skate along a relatively safe bike path that goes under all major streets. The main issues I encounter are rude cyclists, dogs, joggers with headphones, twigs, and the occasional stray goose. The only time I have to cross any intersections is if I go on the 27+ mile skate - and that's temporary; they should have that portion of the trail complete by next summer. My trail is also a bit hilly - but I never feel like I have to duck walk up any of the hills or that I fly down them completely out of control. I can sprint them and I never get much speed on the downside. As I'm listening to what to expect from the course (Cars filled with impatient people on their way to church? Gatorback road? a hill with a sharp 90 degree turn AND gravel at the bottom? Reaching up to 30-40 mph on the downhills? Rail road tracks if I happen to miss a turn??) My stomach tighened and I felt real fear. I had a moment of thinking what the HELL have I gotten myself into??? A couple of people told me that it sounds a lot scarier than it is, and if I skate safe and stay vigilant I would do just fine.

I got to sleep and actually slept pretty soundly. I had the usual dream that I over slept and missed the event - only instead of anxiety I felt relief... The alarm sounded and I got up. Checked the temp outside and it was surprisingly warm. I opted for shorts/short sleeves, got my gear all ready and we headed to the classic center. As usual, I felt a rush of excitement when I saw all of the other skaters getting ready, warming up, talking and interacting. I love this world = I want so badly to be a part of it. I got my skates on and started skating around. In spite of the excitement, my stomach was in a knot and I was also very terrifed... We moved towards the starting line and lined up.

Me getting ready to line up, giving hubby the thumbs up...

I have to say, I really wasn't feeling it. I was tired and scared. On days like this back home, I usually either do a very short skate or skip it all together. I had absolutely NO intentions of doing either. I was hoping that once I started skating, I would relax, find my pace, and get into the zone. My husband gave me a quick kiss and a hug, told me good luck; and I was on my own. The horn sounded and we were off.

Of course, it starts with a downhill and a right turn, I saw people braking and felt a tinge of panic and I braked. Most of the pack disappeared from view immediately. I fell in with a group and started skating. I thought for sure I was at the very back of the group... The pace lines were irratic, the pace itself was inconsistent, and people were all over the place. My heart sank when I thought that I might be skating this one solo. I set my own pace and started working forward. Then we started hitting the hills... Holy cow, man... Up the hills at 7-9 mph, down the hills at break neck speeds. I relaxed my mind and tightened my legs on the downhills and just let it happen. I focused on my breathing and foot rhythm on the uphills. At about mile 14 I fell in with a guy named Jeff and started skating with him. We chatted and maintained a decent pace; and the companionship made the miles go by a lot easier.

While the hills were tough, I saw them as a challenge. The thing that primarily freaked me out was the traffic. I had a couple of people honk and yell at me to get out of the road. I also got to play a fun game of 'name that roadkill'. There were also some gusty winds, but I'm used to that. I managed to take in the scenery (when I wasn't focused on going up or flying down) and it was beautiful. We had perfect weather; low 70's and overcast. When we hit that hill with the 90 degree gravel filled turn, Jeff flew right down it - I wasn't feeling so brave. There were cars coming both directions and a huge dirt shoulder at the bottom. I braked and clenched up. I still took it pretty fast and managed to not wipe out in the gravel. I breathed a sigh of relief and felt that the scariest part of the race was now behind me.

That may have been the scariest thing, but it was by no means an easy ride from that point on. After the second check point, there was a right turn, a curvy downhill with tons of traffic, then we had to make a left turn; crossing the traffic. Then THAT street was an epic uphill!! I swear I could hear my feet saying 'are we there yet????'... At some point Jeff and I lost the two other skaters who were behind us, and we kept talking and keeping each other motivated. Those last 6 miles were definitely the worst, my GPS cut out and had to be restarted; his said we were already at 40 miles so we were so sure the finish line HAD to be coming up... Every hill we came up over, we expected to see the finish line. We came down a hill to a light were a police officer was kindly holding traffic at bay, another sharp left with an immediate right. Jeff missed the right turn so I yelled at him to turn around - he did and caught right back up with me. We flew down the hill FINALLY - there it was - the finish line!!

Jeff and I coming up on the finish line

There were cones to guide the 38 milers over the finish line and the 87 milers back to the course. We both skated down the wrong side. I saw my friend Lenora and she hollered "are you going to Atlanta? You're on the wrong side!!" I swerved just in time to cross the actual line. It took me 3 hours, 9 minutes, and 14 seconds.

Me after my triumphant finish!

Me with Lenora!!

It took me a minute to get my bearings, I was super excited to see my friend Lenora (who drove up from Kissimmee, FL to see me cross the finish line!!) and I wanted to hug my husband but I knew I was pretty rank at that point. With no hotel room, I had to do a quick 'wet wipe' clean up and clothing change in the bathroom of a bike shop! After that, I got my hugs!! I also grabbed my mug, (which I will forever cherish) thanked Jeff for skating with me, (I cannot imagine how much harder that would have been had I skated it solo) and we headed into Atlanta. We got to the 87 mile finish line in time to see the first of the 52 mile finishers cross along with a lot of the 87 milers. I have nothing but the utmost respect for those guys and gals; knowing how difficult the 38 mile skate had been for me, I cannot even imagine twice that; or even 3 times that!!! Intense!!

Lenora left and Allen and I toured Coca Cola world prior to the awards ceremony. I learned that I had placed 2nd in my age group so I was really excited about that! We got back in time for the awards ceremony and it was only when I heard my name called that I realized I had also placed 3rd in overall women! Wow!!!! I couldn't believe it!! I thought I had finished towards the back of the group but I think I was actually right in the middle. (I finished 22nd overall.) I felt very accomplished!

Me (3rd place), Carole Olinger (2nd place), and Candy Wong (1st place) - Candy is a skater whom I really look up to, so this was a HUGE honor for me!!!

If I had not have done St Paul and Duluth prior to this event; I do not think I could have completed it. This was the hardest, most physically challenging thing I have ever done in my life. I can honestly say that not ONCE during the entire course did I even THINK about quitting. Not once. I was in it until the end. I don't think I'll do it again though, I prefer the closed course, the consistent high speeds, and the more level terrain of the marathon skates. But I am VERY glad I did this. It was an amazing experience!!

I feel that my skate season has come to a close - Houston doesn't look like it's going to happen. I'm okay with this; I feel that I have accomplished a lot more this year than I originally set out to. I will keep skating as long as the weather permits but I am no longer in training mode. (So that means more leisurely skates!) I'm also going to focus more on weight training and running; along with some fun winter sports. It is time to break my habit of going all soft and squishy (and gaining 10 lbs) during the winter. I am currently in the best shape I've ever been in my entire life and I intend to keep on tightening up the soft spots!

I have a lot on the menu for next year; I feel like my skating journey has just begun! Happy trails, thank you for following along with me!!

Georgia on my mind...

2011-10-03T17:46:00.001-07:00

So, Athens to Atlanta is in 6 days... I wasn't planning on doing this event until next year - but I was told there might not BE a next year, so I signed up. I think if I would have had another year I might be able to do one of the longer distances, but as it is I'm only signed up for the 38 mile stretch.

Only... Who am I kidding? I've skated 38 miles ONCE. I did it, and still managed to maintain a 14 mph average; but it was lonely. And I was pretty wiped by the end of it; and my arches were really tight. I cannot imagine doing an additional 49 miles on top of that - or even another 14! So yeah, 38 miles will be a real challenge for me. I just want to do it in under two and a half hours. That's my goal. (I did it in 2:42.49 here, so 2:30 is feasible.)

I had planned on skating 3 times this week but believe it or not; I'm feeling a little burned out. So I've decided to pack up my skates and do some other stuff this week. I don't think I'll lose any of my conditioning by taking a week off. I skated on Saturday with my husband; we tooled along at 8.7 mph for about 4 miles; then he turned around and I cranked up the juice to knock out a couple more miles before catching back up with him right before he got to the car. I keep hoping he decides he wants speed skates too... It would be awesome to have a regular skating partner. But you can't force your passions; no matter how badly you wish you could. We all have our thing.

Me on my first pair of 'blades' - 1996... Skating the Cherry Creek trail with my buddy Erica...

Erica!

Hahah, those old photos crack me up... Anyways...

The fate of the Houston marathon is still up in the air but I'm hoping it comes through. Quite a few of my online skater buddies are planning on skating it and I'm really looking forward to meeting them! We should know by the end of this week... After Houston, I will transition out of training mode, and skate just for fun any time I can. I am ready to shift my focus to some winter activities and take a break from skating. I feel like I skated pretty hard this year and I have grown a LOT! I'm very pleased and anxious to see what's in store for me in 2012. My plans for winter include snowshoeing, snowboarding, maybe some ice skating; and some cross country skiing... and lots of running... blaah. but I need the endurance....

I'm also tossing around the idea of buying a pair of custom Bonts, I have gotten so much advice on what skates to upgrade to that it's making my head spin!! I have talked with three skate reps who sell skates and got three different views about what to do next... I know which ones I like the looks of, and I know that upgrading to a true speed skate is the natural progression of the sport; especially with the goals I have in mind for next year. (I am all about getting faster... I want to have great form and more speed!!) My goals for the marathons next year are all about time. Me vs. myself. I want to kick some serious ass. So I have some ideas about that... But deciding on that level of an investment will take some thinking. If I do it, I'm going all out. No messing around with anything in between. I plan on attending Napa Valley, Apostle Islands, and Northshore for sure; with the Texas Road Rash as a maybe...

So my next update should be the A2A recap!!!
Happy Trails!!

Northshore Inline Marathon recap!!

2011-09-18T14:34:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a weekend!!! I arrived in Minneapolis at 1:20 pm on Friday, my friend Susan picked me up and after a quick bite to eat we set out for Duluth. The drive took us about 3 hours with construction traffic and a couple of stops along the way. We got checked into the hotel (swanky - we splurged and had a suite!) then headed down to the convention center so I could pick up my skate packet and check out the expo. Holy cow, what a difference from St Paul!!! I got my stuff, we met up with some of my new friends, and took a look around. I picked up some swag and parts from Inline Warehouse, tried not to spend a lot of money; and visited with my pals. We had a late dinner then off to bed.

I was up at 5 am Saturday morning; excited but I also had nervous butterflies. I was super happy to see that the weather held out and there wasn't any rain in the forecast - but could tell by the frost on the cars that it was anything but warm outside. I had packed a variety of skate clothes (from tank tops to sleeves) and opted to dress warm. I got Susan up and she drove me to the convention center to catch the bus to Two Harbors.

The bus ride up was really fun, I sat next to a gentleman who did ice dancing with his wife as a hobby, and the guy in front of us was the organizer for the Montreal 24 hour relay. (I think he said his name was Simon.) We had a nice conversation and the drive up went by quickly. Next thing I knew it was time to get off of the bus and head up to the staging area. They had a bunch of seats set up, and I just have to say, it was COLD. I didn't want to take my jacket or warm up pants off!!!!

I met up with my friend Kelly; then we found Pat and Mike - and eventually it was time to get ready. I was moving slow because my hands were so cold! Before I knew it, they were lining people up to get ready for the race. I hurriedly threw my stuff in the gear bag to load on the truck and realized afterwards that I had left my skate tool and my sunglasses in the gear bag... Oh well....

I must have been feeling a bit frazzled because I originally lined up with Kelly. He was in wave 1. I was supposed to be in wave 2. (Can I blame that on the cold too??) I got back with my group and lined up between Mike and Pat. My hands and feet were frozen; I couldn't even feel my toes!! I hoped that wouldn't be an issue... I set my Endomondo sports tracker, they blew the horn and off we went...

It took me about a mile to find my groove and warm up. It is so weird, but once I start skating, it is like all outside noise fades away. Anything my mind is chewing on gets forgotten. I slip into this zone and all I focus on is the swishing sound of my skates, the road in front of me; and the other skaters. Instinct took over and I leap-frogged pace lines until I found ones that were going the speed I wanted. I hopped from several pace lines until about mile 9 where I found a really steady one. I skated with them for a few miles, then sped up to another line. (I even pulled several lines, which was actually really cool!!) I found Mike at some point and fell into his line. I skated with him and one other guy for the rest of the race. The section of 35 that they said they had improved felt super squirrelly, I found that if I didn't keep my feet moving, I didn't feel as secure. I hated that section and felt like the terrain slowed me down a bit. I was very glad when we got past that portion of the race. Lemon Drop hill was not as imposing as I thought it would be and the next thing I knew we were at the home stretch!!

Back home I've been training to save enough juice to go full out the last two to three miles. I did the same thing here. I felt that burst of adrenaline and I went full out across the finish line. I was super excited and felt like I'd had a great race. According to my Endomondo, I had completed it in 1:34... I couldn't believe it - that's a full 10 minutes faster than my best time!! It also said my average speed was 17.2!!! That made me feel extremely happy! My goal had been to complete it in 1:40 or less!! I had also HOPED that I would place within my age division. I did not make that a goal because I was not sure it was feasible; especially for my first full marathon. But I DID place! I got 5th place, which got me a medal... I cannot even begin to tell you how awesome that made me feel!!

All in all, the entire experience was wonderful! I got to meet skaters I had connected with online, and actually skate with them. I got a personal best marathon time, I placed; but best of all - I had a BLAST!

Me with Kelly, who I met on the Inline Warehouse Facebook page [he's in the helmet] and Mike, who I met on the Endomondo sports tracking website [he's in the yellow jacket.] Michael is a friend of Kelly's who I actually interacted with on Inline Planet [Michael is in the gray jersey] Mike's dad Steve skated the marathon too [he's in the orange hat] - and I believe the guy in the black is from Germany; he skates with Kelly's skate club.

On the podium getting my medal... wow.... that was so awesome!!!

Me with my medal... I am amazed that I was able to accomplish this. I have come SO FAR this year...

Northshore Stats:
Official time: 1:34:02
Overall 196/1586
Sex 25/603
Age Division 5/62

If you can dream it...

2011-09-13T20:20:00.000-07:00

I have just 4 more days until the Northshore marathon. My very first full inline skating marathon ever! If you would've told me even just a year ago that I'd be getting ready to fly to Minnesota to skate in a marathon, I would've laughed in your face. Me? Sheyah, riight!! A year ago I didn't have the drive, motivation, or faith in myself that I have now... Considering some of the awesome cycles of failure in my past - it's amazing I've come this far! The St. Paul half marathon was amazing, but that was just a taste of it and I want so much more! I feel confident that I will have a blast and do fairly well, however, there is a part of me that is still struggling with some fear and doubt. I had a dream that I woke up late and missed the race. I had another dream where I got lost on the way to the starting line and somehow ended up back at my house. I also had a dream where I was skating the course and got lost... (I ended up flying in that one though, so it turned out to be pretty cool.) It seems like my subconscious is trying to work through some worst case scenarios or something, but at some point I recalled the time I tried to get my motorcycle license...

Oh, you didn't know that I once attempted to get a motorcycle license? Oh yes, I did. And it was a failure of epic proportions...

It was October 2003, I had just lost all of the weight I'd gained during my phase of being a shrink's drug guinea pig. I was feeling incredibly confidence and self-assured. My ex had been pushing me to get my license so we could ride together, and I finally felt confident that I could do it. I signed up for the three day course at the community college and showed up ready to rock. The first night was easy, we just sat in a classroom and went over laws and that sort of thing. The next day, we actually got on the bikes... I did great that first day, I had so much fun and was really enjoying learning to ride. On the final day, we were to do the riding part of the exam and then the written part - and then we would be licensed riders!

The day started out bad, it was so damn hot and we were in full gear. To top it off; I somehow ended up as the second person in line. So here I am, feeling self-conscious because everyone was watching me, it's hot as hell; and I'm not riding so well. I flubbed up some figure 8 thing and was just not feeling it. We lined up to do this braking portion (you get up to 3rd gear then have to break inside this box) and there are two classes lined up side by side. My turn comes, I gun it, jam the brakes expecting to line up perfectly inside the box. It didn't quite work out that way. In fact, I can't tell you exactly what happened. One minute I'm seeing the box, and the next minute I'm seeing the sky. I somehow jammed up the brakes and completely flipped the bike. After the instructor made sure the bike was okay, he checked on me. I just felt stunned and completely humiliated. BOTH classes were staring at me. He told me to stick around and at least take the written exam, then schedule to do the riding exam again the next month. I said sure, let me use the bathroom first and I'll be right back... I went in the building, bypassed the bathroom, snuck out the back door, got into my truck; and never looked back... I didn't even realize I was injured until I got home. (Nothing serious, I jacked up my foot and couldn't wear a shoe for three days and had all sorts of pretty bruises all over.)

It was a humbling experience. I had this thought that maybe, just maybe - some people are never meant to be any better than they are. Maybe some people just reach a certain point of mediocrity, and that is their lot in life; destined to hit a wall and never be able to rise above it. Maybe some lucky people are just born with the over-achiever, good-at-everything-they-do gene; while the rest get squat. I felt that I was one of those people - that I had reached the wall and would never be any better than that. For a long time after that, I did not attempt to do anything that would require me to push myself past any of my perceived boundaries. I figured, what was the point?

During the journey that has been the year 2011 - the year I break bad habits, cycles, and negative ways of thinking on my way to becoming the person I truly want to be - I have reshaped that original thought. Maybe the reason people fail is because they don't attempt to explore their options to find the things that they're truly good at, the things that they feel truly passionate about. Maybe they attempt things because they're expected to (as I did with the motorcycle. I didn't want it - the ex did.) Maybe people fail not because they don't try hard enough to succeed; maybe they're just trying to succeed at the wrong things.

I do know that 'if you can dream it, you can achieve it' is a complete crock of shit because we're not all built the same way. I used to dream of being an astronaut, but guess what? I'm too stupid to be an astronaut. So I'll leave that to the smart people and I'll skate. Because it's what I'm good at.

The Countdown to Northshore!

2011-09-11T11:50:00.000-07:00

Well, the Northshore marathon is in 6 days - I am just 6 days away from accomplishing my goal of skating a full marathon, and I couldn't be more excited!

Of course, I had a little bit of a set back due to stupid health stuff... I have GERD (acid reflux disease) a hiatal hernia and stomach ulcers; and for the most part when I have a flare up I eat some Prilosec for a couple of weeks, it calms back down and life goes on. This flare up started in early August and I could not get it to calm back down. It got so bad that I couldn't eat hardly anything for about a week! So I went to my doctor and got some new medication (he also recommended surgery - I said maybe after the end of this year I'd consider it but NOT NOW.) I started Dexilant on Thursday and almost immediately it made the worst symptoms more bearable. (Worst symptoms being chest pain that radiates up into my neck, through my back and down my arms, a stomach ache, shortness of breath, a sore throat, and difficulty swallowing...) I know I will more than likely need surgery to correct this but I have too much going on right now to consider being out of commission. The thing that REALLY pisses me off about the GERD is that I don't fit the profile... I'm not overweight, I don't smoke, and I eat a low fat diet. In fact, I haven't had fast food in over 2 years!!! So I am not sure why I have it so bad... But anyway... The pain and discomfort made working out impossible and it actually started to depress me quite a bit. I haven't lifted weights in 3 weeks and I didn't skate as much as I wanted to last week... I'm so grateful that the medicine is working enough to encourage me to get back on track and improve my mood. I just need to keep it under control long enough to finish out the year...

Today I skated 27.5 miles on the new Street Fights and Bones Swiss speed bearings. My new wheels are broke in and ready to go, so I'll swap them out tonight and save them for the race. I got myself a pair of eZeeFit ankle booties (I have a raw spot on my inner left ankle and one on my outer right ankle) and they worked like a dream! No pressure or rubbing and they made my boots fit a little snugger too. Very comfortable. I also tried out a pair of compression shorts - I'm not really sure what they're supposed to do but they felt pretty comfortable! I have one more skate on Wednesday - I plan on 13-15 miles of laps and breaking in the Storm Surges (In case it rains, I really hope it doesn't!) Then I'll be set for Northshore!

Here's a little video of me drafting a group of cyclists. Granted, they weren't going THAT fast, but it is still pretty cool to keep up with bikes...

Drafting Bikes 9-11-11

It has been a really fun journey. I've networked with other skaters through Facebook, Endomondo, and Inline Planet; several of them are doing Northshore too. Even though we are all in different states, I almost feel like we've been training together! I can't wait to see them and see how well they do. I'm rooting for them to hit all of their goals, and thank them for helping me set mine pretty high! (I am hoping to complete the marathon in 1:40 or less. I think that is TOTALLY feasible.)

It feels like autumn now, which makes me feel a little sad - I've been having such an amazing summer!!

Current Stats:
Best Marathon Time: 1:44:58 (achieved 9/9/11)
Best Half Marathon Time: 46:53 (achieved 8/6/11)
Miles Skated in 2011: 1116 (goal was 1000)

*happy trails!!*

Why the small victories taste so sweet

2011-08-31T07:20:00.000-07:00

While embracing the journey that has been the year 2011 - I have made a lot of wonderful new friends. I realized that most of them have no idea what I've been through or where I came from - and therefore might not understand why even the smallest accomplishments feel so significant to me. So I thought I would do a quick recap and hopefully then it will make more sense.

In March of 1998, my younger brother Mike went into the hospital with what we thought was pneumonia. We soon found out that he was HIV positive and had reached the point of having full blown AIDS. We never even had a chance to learn how to deal with this because on April 14th, 1998: he died. He was only 24 years old. A month after that, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. After a very difficult fight, she passed away on October 24th, 1998 at the age of 54. My family was very tight knit, and at 27, I was still very much a mama's girl. We hadn't even begun to process through losing Mike when we had to focus on the fact that we were now also without our mother. We all fell apart in our own ways and I very loudly deconstructed.

My mom and little brother - I'm guessing this was taken in the late 80's/early 90's.

I pretty much lost my mind and ended up in a very unhealthy relationship. In August of 2000 I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and put on a myriad of drugs. None of the shrinks bothered to maybe just TALK to me and give me some tools to help cope with my grief - instead they put me through a hellish nightmare of psychotropic drugs; the side effects were unbearable. At one point I was taking seven different drugs a day. I gained 40 pounds in the span of a month. My hair thinned and fell out. I had panic attacks, trouble swallowing, hallucinations, tingling, twitching, nightmares, paranoia - it was by far and away the absolute worst period of my life. I became reclusive and couldn't hold a job. I knew my relationship was part of the problem but I was too fragile and far too weak to end it and strike out on my own. I wanted to die so badly but was too afraid to commit suicide so I just fell into this weird sort of existing without really living mode. IT WAS AWFUL.

This is me in the summer of 2000. I think I was about 160 lbs.

At some point I became an advocate for my own health care. I did research. I learned that I could say 'no, I don't want to take that medication. Give me another option.' I started exercising, I was able to work again, and in 2005 I was finally able to end my marriage and start focusing on rebuilding my life. In 2006 I opted to dump ALL head meds and deal with the bipolar naturally. (Vitamins, diet, exercise, life stability.) I still have ups and downs but for the most part I am aware and can deal with minimal damage control needed!

Even with these life improvements, I still struggled to become the strong person I had always envisioned in my mind. Not just physically strong, but mentally and emotionally. I wanted to be fierce, fearless - empowered. But I couldn't figure out how to get there. I am not sure how or why - but at some point this year something inside of me finally clicked and I now feel like I am beginning to embody my vision. I am completely elated...

I couldn't have done it without the support of my current husband - who loves me, supports my dreams, and calls me on my bullshit. Or my dad, who was so stoked about my time at St Paul that I had to hold the phone away from my ear while he yelled with pride. Or all of my friends who have been with me from the beginning and who KNOW how far I've come - who tell me I inspire THEM. But most of all, I never gave up on myself. The strength had to have been there all along, I just needed to figure out how to mine it.

So... There you go - the painful, dirty details of what I consider to be the black hole of my life.

This has definitely been my year to thrive, and I am still going full speed ahead! I feel so resolutely driven that it's almost scary! (Driven. what a new sensation for me. I'm used to the motto 'when the going gets tough - I'm outta here'.) I reached my goal of 1000 miles skated in 2011 on August 27th - and I believe I may be able to tack an additional 500-700 miles to that number. The Northshore Marathon is in less than 3 weeks and I am SO excited!! I can't wait to experience that race! I am also signed up for Athens to Atlanta, I will be completing the 38 mile stretch from Athens to Dacula. For me - this will definitely be a challenge of stamina and endurance and the true test of my ability. This is what I've been training for and I cannot wait! I still might try to wing the Houston marathon as well, maybe as an early Christmas present to myself!!! After that race it will be the beginning of ski season, and learning how to snowboard is on that list of goals I made at the beginning of the year...

I have learned to treasure and cherish every moment life has to offer. Appreciate the beauty. Love the people who deserve your love, and let go of the ones who don't. But most of all - don't keep putting things off. If you can do something then do it! The feeling of actually accomplishing something is way more satisfying than the idea.

I am Northshore Bound!!

2011-08-17T09:05:00.000-07:00

Well, I did it! I registered for the Northshore Inline Marathon on September 17th!!! My friend Susan lives in Hastings, so she'll pick me up from the airport on the 16th to make the 2.5 hour drive to Duluth: we'll arrive in time to check in and have a nice dinner. Saturday morning is the race, I signed up for wave 2 - so we start at 7:54 am. I also managed to get a hotel room within 10 minutes of the finish line!! My goal is to finish the race in under 2 hours: the faster the better!

http://northshoreinline.com/

After the race and a quick shower, (26.2 miles will put a serious funk on me! hahaha!!) we plan on doing some touristy sight seeing stuff! (Gooseberry Falls & Split Rock. I do not know what either of those things are, but Susan seems to think I will enjoy them!)

I am very excited to do my first full marathon, and I am really looking forward to spending some time with my friend! I hope to meet some new friends in Duluth as well! I still plan on doing Houston, I just couldn't wait that long to do another marathon! I have the BUG!!

So for now I will start the longer distance training again - I will set my distance goal for my weekday skates to 18-20 miles and my weekend skates to 25-30 miles. I plan on skating on the Street Fights again, because those wheels are friggin FAST!!

I need to make sure I pace myself so I do not burn out before the end of the race... I have a habit of going balls to the wall for the first 13-15 miles, pacing myself for several miles; then dragging ass the last 3-5 miles. I don't want to drag ass at all... :)

Hope to see some of my new skater friends in Duluth!!

Having a pivotal year!

2011-08-16T11:44:00.000-07:00

piv·ot·al/ˈpivətl/Adjective

1. Of crucial importance in relation to the development or success of something else.

2. Vitally important: critical.

As I sat on my ass in front of the TV watching the ball drop on New Years Eve, I contemplated new years resolutions. I hate making resolutions; I never stick to them. So a friend of mine suggested I use the word 'intentions' instead - the word 'intention' doesn't sound nearly as binding as 'resolution', so maybe with a little wiggle room I might actually achieve some success. I set about making a list of new years 'intentions'. I did not realize that I was about to begin an extremely pivotal and monumentally important year.

My first intention for this - the year I turned 40 - was to get into the best shape of my life. Period. Once and for all. I started out the year carrying an extra 10+ lbs of winter squishiness; and now - except for a bit of a muffin top (which I hear is common for someone who is 'my age') I have reached this intention. From here I will strive to become stronger, leaner and healthier; but I am currently in the best shape I've ever been in. And it feels amazing!

My second intention for this year was to skate 500 miles... Then 700... Then 1000. Currently I am at 867 miles skated for 2011; so 1000 is well within my reach. Skating no longer became just about the mileage goals however; I wanted to become faster and better. It has been an evolution of sorts - I can't even begin to describe how cool it is to feel the transformation of recreational skater (all gawky upright stance, arms all over the place, legs stick straight) into a more fluid and intense skater. I still have a lot of work to do but just knowing that I've evolved this much gives me the enthusiasm to continue to grow. It is an ongoing process and I love every minute of it!

My third intention was geared towards my career. I initially wanted to work to move forward within the company I'm at now. I've been here 4 years and I'm completely stagnant. I tried - believe me I tried - to get ahead but for some reason I cannot. The frustration, and the apathy, and this feeling of being STUCK has led me to decide to go back to school... I've been kicking it around for YEARS, but fear has kept me from pursuing it. About a month ago (after a particularly drab day in cubicle HELL) I made the decision, applied for admission at the local community college; and started making plans for life AFTER payroll... I am going for a Human Performance/Fitness Science degree. I want to help people get to where I am at, I want to do something that I feel passionately about. I am very excited and cannot wait to get started! After I get my A.A.S, I will sit for the Health Fitness Instructor certification. From there, I will work for 500 hours (probably doing personal training or some other type of instruction) after that I hope to sit for another certification that will allow me to work with people who have special needs; disabilities, or recovering cancer patients, or veterans; something like that. I believe that this will give me a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Somewhere during this journey I've been taking all year - this vital, important year - I've developed some really strong self confidence. And I attribute it to the skating. See, I've always been an EPIC under-achiever. Someone who is average across the board. To see how far I've come with my skating has given me the confidence to BELIEVE that I am actually capable of doing so much more in so many other areas. I don't HAVE to be average. I'm definitely not average when it comes to inline skating; I'm pretty good and only getting better. Wow, what an amazing feeling... I feel like I can do anything, and that confidence trumps the fear... Finally. Chris -1, Fear - 0.

So here I am. 8 months into 2011. I start school next month - just one class for now. (It's been 20 years since I've taken any classes - it's probably best to start slow...) I have a plan that has me working here for one more year, then going part-time to work/full-time to school with the hopes of graduating sometime in 2014. I am on an amazing fitness journey, now I have even more reasons to keep at it; I want to be an example of practice what you preach, I mean - who can trust a fat personal trainer??

The true test will come when the weather changes, and the days get shorter, and I can't skate every day: but I don't intend to HAVE an off season this year. I have warm clothes; I figure if the sun is out and there is no snow on the ground (and it's not below 45 degrees) I don't see any reason why I can't skate. I also plan on doing some skiing/snowboarding. Why not? I bet it would be a blast... and life should be an adventure!

I skated last night. I didn't want to, I have been fighting a head cold and had a pretty bad sinus headache. The sky looked stormy. The wind was blowing. But the desire to be wheels down was too strong - I hadn't skated in a WEEK! So, I figured I'd just take it easy, do a short 10 mile roll and then head home to relax... Funny thing, once I hit the trail, my body took over. I skated pretty hard. I got rained on. I went full out for almost 16 miles and maintained a 15.1 mph average. The wind was in my face the entire way back. I didn't care - I was in my happy place. This year has been one of the best I've had in a very long time. No matter what happens; I am going to always, always treasure the way I feel right now.

(I'm still trying to make Northshore happen - I cannot WAIT to do a full marathon!!!)

The Minnesota Half Marathon!

2011-08-07T12:37:00.000-07:00

So the Minnesota half marathon was this past Saturday and I did it!! My husband and I arrived in Minneapolis on Friday, my husband dealing with a horrible cold (that I kept praying would spare me - at least until after the race!!!!) My friend Susan (who lives there) picked us up from the airport. We hit up the expo at the hotel (kind of disappointing) did some walking around, then Susan and I drove the race course. There was one part that had me a little scared; the first turn was an off ramp that was downhill with a sharp left turn. The rest of the course looked totally manageable. I tried not to obsess over that turn.... After we got back to the hotel, I FINALLY got a chance to meet my friend Kelly. He's been a bit of a mentor and inspiration to me so it was really cool to finally meet him.

We were up at 5 am the next morning, and I woke up feeling sick!!!! But once I got up and got ready, I was feeling a bit better. We headed out for a quick breakfast (cereal bar and a banana) then down to the starting line. Along the way we stopped to admire the view - I love early morning!

We got to the starting line and I laced on my skates for a few warm up laps around the road - test the surface and get my muscles warm; as well as get my head in the right place. I had a little bit of a sore throat but overall I felt really good!

I saw my friend Kelly and we lined up next to each other. I wished him a good [and safe] race; and next thing I knew, it was our turn to head out!!! We started up the road towards that scary turn and I kept trying not to think about it. I tagged onto the backs of various pace lines to snake my way through the masses and break out of the pack. Each time a pace line slowed down, I broke off and found a faster one. I was starting down the off ramp at the back of a pace line, but I got scared and slowed down... As I rounded the turn I realized that I could have made the turn a lot faster. I worked to catch back up with the pace line and skated with them for a while.

This is the pace line I moved in and out of. They could NOT maintain a consistent pace and that frustrated me. I skated in/along side them for a good 8 miles before finally breaking away and skating on my own. (You can see me off to the side getting ready to break away again)

I drafted a few skaters here and there but it seemed like I had some type of advantage on the hills. I've been training on hills at altitude, so sprinting up the hills felt like a breeze. I passed the majority of the skaters I passed on the uphill portions of the race. Another really cool thing was that my muscles seemed to recover from the sprints super fast, so they felt ready to work after only a few seconds of resting! It surprised me!!

Towards the end of the race, I was skating along side and behind 3 or 4 women. As I steadily passed them one by one; one woman seemed highly annoyed that I passed her. She made a point (and a comment) as she got back in front of me. Fine, get in front of me - I just drafted her for the last part of the race!!! Here are a couple shots of me and the annoyed girl coming up to the finish line. The two women behind me are skaters who started out well ahead of me!!!

Passing the finish line!! Whew that was sooo awesome!!!

I felt REALLY strong, and I had worked really hard; so I figured I had done pretty well; but I had NO idea I did as well as I did!!! According to my Endomondo tracking on my phone - I averaged 16.6 mph!!!

My official time was 47:28.94. I finished 20/170 women, 6/40 in my age division; and 73/376 overall!!!!! That is WAY better than I had expected!!!!

Me with my friend Susan! It was so good to see her!

Me and Kelly

my husband (and awesome photographer) Allen and I, he is SO supportive!!!

That was an amazing experience and I had SO MUCH FUN!! Now I'm thinking I may just do the Northshore marathon next month because I don't think I can wait until November to do another race!!! I am officially HOOKED!!!

Physically 40 - but mentally 25...

2011-07-30T13:10:00.000-07:00

I have never really been an athlete. In middle school I joined the girl's basketball team and played one game before quitting. I think I lasted a week in track. In high school I was a choir and drama geek; I hated gym class and had to beg my teacher to give me a D so I could graduate. After high school, I sort of got into the solitary activities; biking, running, walking; but never for any extended period of time. I would ride my bike all summer, hike through the mountains, run a few times, walk all over the place - but come winter I would become lazy, sedentary, and chubby. It never failed.

In 1996, I not only started inline skating regularly but I also began mountain biking and weight lifting. I was pretty gung ho about it and got into the best shape I'd ever been in up until that point. But of course, summer gave way to autumn gave way to winter; I went through a divorce and I traded in going to the gym for going to the nightclubs. I've tried to make lifestyle changes off and on since then but have never been able to sustain the changes. I would get bored, I would have some type of life changing event; I would give it up and get sedentary and chubby. I have always envied those 'natural' athletes - you know the ones who can do any type of physical activity and make it look effortless. I always wanted to be one of those people but apparently I didn't want to make the commitment necessary to get there...

This year I turned 40 and decided that THIS would be the year that I made permanent LIFESTYLE changes, instead of going through the same old cycle of lose/gain/lose/gain again. I started off the year carrying around my usual winter blubber in excess of 10 lbs... But it's not just about getting thin or having fun anymore, it's also about being healthy overall, so that I can age more gracefully without being dodged with fun sounding stuff like osteoporosis or heart disease. Of course the year began with the typical false starts until I got mad at myself and got serious around the beginning of May and FINALLY committed. I'm doing fairly well so far; I'm going on 12 weeks of steady workouts, eating better, and getting rid of the goo around my middle. I've gotten pretty gung ho about it, I feel invincible! I want to do everything!! I'm lifting weights 3 days a week, skating 2-3 days a week, and playing softball on Sundays. I have my first inline skating marathon in just 7 days! I've been pushing my body pretty hard - skating hard, upping weight each time I work out: playing softball as hard as I can, so I guess it's only natural that my body decided it was time to remind me that I am NOT 25 anymore...

I subbed a softball game for a team at work this past Thursday, and pulled my quad muscle. I can't even believe it happened because I didn't even care enough about this team to put 100% into playing. I was hobbling around like an old lady all day Friday, I kept my leg iced and elevated and tried not to feel pissed off about it; but I am pissed. I had to skip my Friday leg workout and I had to skip a 30 mile social skate that I was scheduled to skate this morning with members of the Denver inline skate club. My anger is directed solely at myself. It's totally my fault for not warming up properly prior to the game. I know how pulls happen - basically a sudden burst of stress on the muscle (i.e. sprinting from first to second base) can cause micro tears in the muscles if they aren't warmed up first. This hurts like hell and sidelines you. I believe the injury is grade 1 because I'm walking fine today, it just feels a little tight and not nearly as sore.

The good news is that I was planning on using this week as a 'recovery' week anyway since St. Paul is in a week: so no weight training/hard cardio. So now the plan is for 2, maybe 3 short skates and some swimming and yoga; along with a focus on hydration and eating well. I'm going to TRY to sit out softball tomorrow night, I'm hoping we can find someone to sub for me. I'm terrified of hurting the muscle MORE and being healthy for the marathon is just more important to me.

You know, youth truly is wasted on the young. When I was 25 I had no idea of my body's full potential. I never pushed it to see what it was capable of; I was too busy worrying about inconsequential things. Considering what I'm doing now, 15 years later - I'm guessing I could have been pretty bad ass back then...

Skating Stats as of 7/26/11:
Fastest 13.1 Miles - 54:08
Fastest 26.2 Miles - 1:57:07
Total Miles Skated - 814

The Art of Over Thinking...

2011-07-19T07:18:00.000-07:00

I'll be the first to admit that I over-think EVERYTHING. I have ditched many a workout just by thinking about every step needed to get me out of my office chair and into the gym... (get up, get into hot car, drive, change my clothes, get all sweaty, have to change back, get back into car: etc...) Just thinking about it made me tired. I have tried to get my brain to think about just one word - GO - and not over-think the journey, focus on the destination. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I've been really good about not over-thinking skate prep; because it takes me a while to gear up and get my wheels on the pavement. I have pretty much gotten to the point where I can get my brain to skip past thinking about gearing up and get straight to the part where I'm actually coasting along, happy as a lizard baking away on a rock in the sun.

So, last night I went to Washington park to skate with another skater. I was a bit hesitant because I haven't skated Wash park since '98, and my memory of the park is basically one of painfully trying to cruise along on a cobblestone-like surface, and enduring rude cyclists who like to spit on people. I was also not looking forward to the drive in rush hour traffic in 90+ degree heat. But I focused on the fact that I would be meeting with a speed skating coach and that was going to be really exciting. I got to the park, strapped on my skates and rolled around with the coach.

He gave me a lot of good pointers on things like what to wear, how to hold my position at the front of the pack so no jerks could cut in front of me; what to eat, how to recover, how to stop without using a brake; things like that. As we were skating along I was also surprised to realize that the cobblestone was gone and the pavement was actually pretty smooth. I didn't get spit on, cussed at, yelled at, clipped, or ran over by any rabid Denver cyclists either! Happy! After the coach was done and we were standing by his vehicle chatting about the Rocky Mountain speed skating group, another skater came up to ask if we were with the Denver inline skate club. (I had sent out an email earlier to see if any of them would be skating so we could meet up.) I said I was, introduced myself and after coach left I set off to cruise with skate club guy.

Skate club guy helped me with my stride, showed me how to draft, and videotaped me skating so I could see how badly my upper body (head in particular) bobs all over the place. He drafted me for a while to show me how it felt and I have to admit - it was really uncomfortable. I got really self-conscious about having some dude I just met crouched a foot from my ass with his hand on my back. He was completely professional, so this was all on me. When it was my turn to draft, oh lordy - I couldn't do it. I felt awkward and uncomfortable. I couldn't maintain a steady pace. It felt too WEIRD. He kept reassuring me that it was ok, that while skating in a line it's expected to feel a hand on your back, or to get passed, or to have someone cut in front of you (how rude! But anyway...) We skated a few laps together and then I realized it was getting late. All in all, the entire evening was a really good experience and I appreciated meeting and skating with both of them and I feel like I learned a lot.

Here is a shot of a few of the Texas Flyers in a pace line... See what I mean?? CLOSE!!

Another one of a gaggle of skaters in a line... It's going to take a while to be comfortable enough to do that!

So... Not only do I need to work on my head bobbing (I had NO idea I moved around that much!) but I also need to work on getting that insecure part of my brain to stop wondering if the person behind me is marveling at how fat my ass looks in spandex (or how awkward it is to have an ass encased in spandex less than a foot from MY face) and focus instead on the fact that a pace line is a beneficial part of skating a marathon. If I'm going to continue to improve and keep moving up to the next levels, then drafting is a part of that growth.

A group of speed skaters meets up at Washington Park every Tuesday. The coach told me that they are all really nice, and that I just need to go up and ask them if I can tag along with them. Will I actually have the courage to do that? Every skater I've met so far has been super friendly and more than willing to share their knowledge, so I sure hope so. I'd really like to work past this. I'd like to be able to comfortably skate a foot away from the person in front of me and reap the benefits. But most of all, I'd really like to learn how to stop thinking so much and start learning to trust my skating instincts.

Good days and bad days.

2011-07-12T12:55:00.000-07:00

I skated twice this past weekend since I had a three day weekend, I went for a 30.81 mile skate on Friday and a 21.72 mile skate on Sunday. Sunday was an excellent day. Friday was crap.

Friday morning I was already expecting rough trail conditions due to the massive rain from the night before, so I should have played it safe and stuck to familiar terrain. But a trail leading west had just opened after some construction and I was anxious to go exploring. I used to ride my bike that way a long time ago and was eager to see what kinds of memories would come flooding back while skating the trail. I veered west at the junction where I normally go east at the 7 mile point of my usual skate and I was filled with happy anticipation.

This was short lived when I hit the first wet wooden bridge. (Lets just say I'm lucky I'm flexible.) That was the first of three wet bridges that almost took me out. Things levelled out and I finally hit the newly paved portion of the trail that went through Bear Creek Park. That part was really nice: and lasted about 3 minutes. After heading under the Sheridan bridge I hit some seriously horrible conditions and almost wiped out a few more times. (Torn up asphalt, major patches of mud and sand, sticks, cars; etc.) Skating along at 5 mph was the polar opposite of fun so after about 3 1/2 miles I turned and headed back. I was dreading the wet bridges because one of them was at the bottom of a steep hill. I gingerly made it over the last bridge, and headed back to familiar territory.

The trail was so bad; gravel, sand, rocks, twigs, and geese. (yes, geese.) I've had skater vs. fowl near misses before but this was the closest one ever. and the best part is I almost hit the same goose twice! By the time I finished up and limped home, my mph average was shot, (12 mph) I was tired and sore (from doing the splits every time I hit a twig or pebble) and I was in a really bad mood. I did the usual 'at least I got out there' and took a nice hot shower as soon as I got home. Lesson learned; leave the trail exploration for when I'm on foot or on a bike. (Obviously my memories of that trail were spotty!!)

Sunday morning dawned overcast and a little cool. My favorite skating weather. I headed out with the goal of focusing on form and trying not to wipe out; and it turned out to be one of the best skates I've had this season. I flew along w/ a 14 mph hour average. My form felt great, and the speed came almost effortlessly. I did my sprints and managed to maintain the higher speeds for longer periods of time. I felt that exhilarating high that I get when I'm having a good skate and that made me happy. I passed cyclists - hell, I left them in the dust like they were standing still! Several of them even commented on it, and it made me feel great! I finally feel like I'm gaining the stamina and speed that I so greatly desire. The way I feel after a skate like that is why I keep going back for more. I always say that getting in shape is just a side effect of my drug!

As of 7/10/11 I am at 721 miles skated. My best half marathon time is 54:08. My best marathon time is still 1:57:07 but I hope to change that this weekend. I have 24 more days until St. Paul and I am SO excited!!! The good skate days definitely outweigh the bad skate days and when it really comes down to it; any time spent skating sure beats being at work!!!

I believe I will hit my goal of 1000 miles by the end of next month; so once again I will be making some new goals. This is the best skate season ever!

This is a picture of a hill that I absolutely love to sprint up! I don't care how tired I am, as soon as I hit the bottom of this hill, I try to see how fast I can get up it... :)

When you reach your goal - set a new one...

2011-07-02T15:44:00.000-07:00

Today was an AWESOME day for me!!! I started my skate at about 9:00 am: the weather was PERFECT! Clear skies, sunshine, a slight breeze. There were a ton of cyclists on the trail so that made for some tricky maneuvers but I still skated 26.56 miles; and I did it in under two hours... GOAL CRUSHED! (time was 1:57:07) - I averaged 13.4 mph. If you click on the below link you can see the map and my stats:

http://www.endomondo.com/workouts/oXnfh438rS8

I started this year with a goal of 700 miles skated for the entire year. I'm currently at 637 - so I changed that to 1000 miles. Then I made a goal to skate a half marathon (registered/airfare booked/hotel booked: this goal will be accomplished next month.) Then I decided that just participating wasn't good enough - I want to do it in under an hour. My current personal best time for a half marathon was accomplished today: 56:53... Then I decided I don't want to wait until next year to do a full marathon, I want to do one this year so I'm waiting for registration to open for the Houston inline marathon. My goal for that is to do it in under 2 hours. I think that is definitely achievable!

I was told by a dear friend that you can train for an inline skating marathon 'in just two weeks'. Sure, if you just want to just show up and complete it. But that isn't good enough for me. I want to show up, skate hard - maybe finish with a few of the elite skaters??? Eh, that might be a bit lofty but I sure as heck want to be killing that finish line well in front of the rest of the recreational skaters...

I have to say, I feel really good right now. I feel fit, I feel healthy; and I feel accomplished. I'm excited by my progress and looking forward to seeing just how far I can take it. This is definitely my best skate season yet! Next skate is Monday morning; I'm thinking a distance recovery skate w/o focusing on speed - just form.

Happy trails!

A beautiful DUH moment...

2011-06-30T07:21:00.000-07:00

So I got these fabulous new wheels and bearings and couldn't wait to switch them out. When I put them on, I noticed that when I tightened the axles too tight, the wheels wouldn't spin. So I had to leave them all a bit loose. Out on my skate last Friday, the front wheel of my left skate worked itself loose and almost came off while I was skating!! I nearly lost my balance and the arm flailing that ensued was highly entertaining I'm sure! Luckily I always carry my skate tool with me so I tightened it up and went on my way. Of course, since all of the axles had to be left loose so the wheels would roll, I was clicking, clacking and vibrating the entire time. Basically it sucked.

On my outing this past Tuesday I felt like I had to work harder to get up any speed. So I figured it was time to clean the bearings. Last night I popped them out and opened one up - pristine. Not a speck of dirt. Now I was completely puzzled... Then I recalled an article I had read on Inline Planet yesterday about what to pack in your skate bag and the author had mentioned to keep a spare set of wheel spacers... Wheel spacers? What are those? Do I need those? (Do I actually have those without even knowing it??) So I asked my husband if he knew what a wheel spacer was. He said he thought it was the little 'ring thing' that was in my other set of 90 mm wheels. Basically they look like this:

So I took them out of my 90 mm wheels and put them in the 100's. They fit in-between the bearings in the center of the wheel. I put the wheels back on, tightened the axles really tight: and the wheels spun for days... Problem solved... My next time out should be a lot more comfortable...

The kicker to this incredibly duh moment? On a whim I peeked at the bearing set-up on the stock wheels that I had just taken off of my skates last week and lo and behold: spacers... I'll take those out and put them on the Street Fights. (Now that I know what they are and how vital they are...)

There are days when I feel like an advanced skater with a good grasp on the sport. And then there are days when I feel like a complete and total rank amateur. Guess which one it was yesterday?

Happy trails!

Breaking the cycle of 'Almost'.

2011-06-29T11:04:00.000-07:00

My entire life has been comprised of cycles of 'almost'. Last year, I 'almost' skated 500 miles for the year. I 'almost' finished P90X... Over the years I've 'almost' gotten promotions, 'almost' finished school; 'almost' got into that dress I bought that was two sizes too small... and so on.... and so forth. I'm pretty sure part of this is due to the mere fact that by nature I'm pretty lazy. I'm also easily distracted. AND - I tend to let fear rule my world. Fear causes hesitation; hesitation makes me falter - and if I falter: I fail. I believe that the key to breaking the cycle of almost is conquering my fear. Once I get a taste of success, I doubt if I'll ever settle for 'almost' again.

And believe me, I'm getting pretty sick and tired of 'almost'.

I turned 40 this past January, and I made a promise to myself that this would be the year that I got into the best shape of my life. I'm old enough to let go of the insecurities and hang-ups of my youth; and yet still young enough to push my body to extremes. I skate in spandex with my pot belly on full display and couldn't care less - back in my 20's this would have caused hesitation. I also skate farther than I ever have before because I don't hit a particular point on the trail and then turn around because mentally I don't think I can go any farther. If I feel pretty good and I'm not too tired - I keep going. The goal is to get rid of the pot belly and I can't do that sitting on my sofa hiding from the world.

I've had some issues getting on track of course. I got really sick in February and then again at the end of April, then I went on vacation - I know, excuses, excuses. So when we got back from vacation I plunged head first into a program of 3 days of P90X weight training, and 3 days of skating per week. That was on May 13th. I'm almost done with my 7th week of sticking to this program. My workout program is the P90X phase two weight workouts (Chest/Shoulders/Triceps, Back/Biceps, and Legs/Back) I try to skate 2 'short' 15-20 mile skates during the week and one long (20+) mile skate on the weekend. I still need to figure out where to squeeze in the 16 minute ab workout 3x a week: I'm usually pretty trashed after the workouts and don't have the juice. It is on the agenda to start happening.

I'm also still sorting out the nutrition side of the equation but I don't eat any fast food or junk food and I don't drink any soda. I try to make sure I'm getting enough protein and not too many carbs. My weaknesses tend to be sweets, flavored coffee creamer, and salad dressing. (I guess in the grand scheme of things, 2 tbsp of coffee creamer has got to be way better than say, a Whopper with fries, right??) It's a work in progress, it doesn't feel like I've 'almost' got it, it just feels like an ever evolving process. I like that...

I am in the midst of a complete transformation. Feeling fit and healthy gives me a level of confidence like nothing else can. I feel strong, but it's not just physical strength: it's mental strength as well. The kind that makes me say no to the office donuts because I want to enjoy the oatmeal I brought - especially knowing that I'll be skating hard later and cannot afford the sugar crash! I view my body as a machine that needs to be taken care of for optimum performance. I see this as progress and I'm feeling really positive!!!

The trail behind the Englewood Municipal golf course off of Oxford Ave.

Current Skating Stats:
Year to date mileage: 611 (as of 6/28/11)
Top marathon time: 2:00:06 (accomplished on 6/26/11)
Top half marathon time: 58:19 (accomplished on 6/26/11)

Going the distance

2011-06-24T16:11:00.000-07:00

Well, today I discovered the answer to the question 'how far is too far?' - for me it was 36 miles. I enjoyed the first part of my skate very much, but at about 25 miles in my left foot started hurting really bad on the ball of my foot. I don't know why? It made the last 10 miles pretty miserable! I hope it is just a matter of not lacing the skates up as tight... I was also out in the sun for 3 hours... So, I think from now on I'll keep my 'long' outings to 25-30 miles. It's no fun if you are in pain or uncomfortable!!! I want to focus on how fast I can do 13.1 and also work on completing 26.2 without stopping.

I may skate again on Sunday morning - just a short 20 miles... :)

Interval Training - Day One

2011-06-22T19:32:00.000-07:00

Today was the first time I've attempted timed interval training. (Usually I just do my own type of intervals; sprint until I'm spent, skate casual until I catch my breath; then do it again. Not timed, I just listen to my body.) The plan was to do one minute full on as fast as I could skate, followed by a two minute casual cool down - repeat 3 times and then on the third sprint take a five minute casual skate: repeat as many times as I could during the course of my outing. On my first attempt I discovered two things:

1.) Trying to skate full on as fast as I can right into a head wind is like trying to run in a swimming pool. (I'm so sick of the wind I can't even begin to express it...)

2.) One minute is a looong frigging time....

So the plan may have been 1 min on/2 min off but the reality was that I couldn't do my full on fastest skate for a full minute. I lasted about 30-35 seconds before I felt like I was going to die. And it also took me longer than 2 minutes to recover. I started getting discouraged but decided instead to ignore my watch and just do it like I always do. I still did intervals, I still felt like I was working hard; but I wasn't watching the clock. I still managed to do 15.73 miles in just under an hour and 13 minutes - my average mph was 12.9.

I'm a little concerned about my heart rate; I have a physical scheduled in a few weeks so I'll definitely run over it with my doctor. Based on my age, my maximum heart rate is 180. 85% of that is 153 bpm. My average bpm tonight was 174 with a maximum of 197... That seems like I was in the red zone for far too long. I felt pretty good, but it just scares me... I've been reading that everyone is different and that those numbers are just a guideline so maybe I'm just one of those fast heartbeat kind of people... I hope that's the case!!

Either way, it felt like a good training workout. I had a moment though, where I felt afraid of losing the very reason why I started skating in the first place. I am afraid that I'm going to wake up one morning and think of skating as work and not as something fun. I need to remember to look around and enjoy the feel of the sun, the beauty of my surroundings; hear the birds singing, the crickets chirping - the frogs doing whatever it is that frogs do... Make sure to focus on the other stuff and not just chasing miles as fast as I can. Skating has always been playtime for me - I never want to lose that. The minute I start feeling like it's work is the minute I chuck the app and start skating with no idea how far/fast I'm going....

This is why I skate - to be out in this...

Tomorrow is weight training, then I have a nice, long. leisurely skate planned for Friday morning - work on some distance with no hard core intervals...

It's All About the Gear!!

2011-06-21T17:03:00.000-07:00

One of the things I love about skating is the gear. Buying it, using it; maintaining it. I find comfort in the familiar exercise of rotating the wheels, cleaning the bearings; putting everything back together in anticipation of a smooth ride next time out. This year I have more gear because I've started wearing a helmet & a camelbak.

My Gear!

Another fun thing is to upgrade the wheels once you've completely pulverized the stock set that came with the skates... (I put just over 500 miles on the above wheels and they're toast.) Inline Warehouse had an epic sale on MPC wheels so I got a set of the VT's [firm] and a set of the Street Fights [firm] - put the VT's on with a set of TwinCam ILQ Pro bearings and just a quick roll around the neighborhood was pure smoothness.

Old versus new:

The Street Fights - I will probably save these bad boys for Houston!

My new set up:

Having a helper doesn't hurt, either!!

I'm ready for some interval training tomorrow after work; and a distance skate on Friday. Plan on doing intervals of 1 minute full on fastness/2 minutes casual skate x 3 - then five minute recovery skate. I will do this as many times as I can before I feel like I took a lactic acid sponge bath. Interval training is awesome because it not only helps teach your body how to get rid of the lactic acid quickly so you recover faster; but it's also really important for cardiovascular endurance.

I started this year out about 12 pounds overweight and soft. I'm beginning to slim down and get some muscle. But fitness isn't just about looking better (although that is a definite plus!) For me it's also about an overall sense of well being. Not getting sick as often, being able to carry heavy stuff, not getting winded going up a flight of stairs; and oh yeah - being able to skate 26.2 miles in a reasonable amount of time. (I'd take anything under 2 hours - my current personal best time on 26.2 miles is 2:05:05.) I think I can beat that....

The photo above is a picture of my favorite hill to sprint up... I LOVE this hill.... :)

How it began and where it's going...

2011-06-21T09:24:00.000-07:00

I began my skating adventure at the end of 1995 by receiving a pair of Rollerblade skates for Christmas. They were basically a ski boot with wheels and I HATED them. They were uncomfortable, clunky, and SLOW. I had heard that some other brands began making a soft boot skate; so I went out and found a pair of purple K2 soft boot inline skates. I loved them! I took to skating like a duck on water and fell completely in love with the sport... At first I was cautious about speed and never went above an ABEC 5 bearing. Skating was something I did for fun, I was outside with my friends, cruising along at a mellow pace. It wasn't fitness. It wasn't training. It wasn't even exercise to me. For years I viewed skating as something I did just for fun. I didn't realized how fantastic it is for fitness until later on in life. [The picture below is me on my purple K2's - March 1996]

I skated the purple K2's until they pretty much disintegrated. I stuck with the K2 brand and went through several more pairs of fitness skates but something was missing. I wanted more SPEED. I kept trying faster bearings, but I didn't realize that wheel size also plays an important part in speed. In 2010 I accidentally bought a pair of 90 mm wheels that didn't fit on my current pair of skates. I did more reading and found K2 Celenas and bought them. Skating became a LOT more fun, but the skates only gave me a small taste of my potential for speed. On top of faster skates, I also found an app for my smart phone called Endomondo, so for the FIRST TIME EVER I was able to accurately track how many miles I was skating and get an idea of my miles per hour. All of these variables contributed to me wanting MORE. More speed, more miles; more challenges. I set a goal of 500 miles for 2010 but only managed 357 with an average speed of 10.6 mph. I needed more... I also needed a network of skating buddies to help keep me motivated. [The picture below is me on my Celena 90 mm skates; spring 2010.]

So, in January of this year I bought a pair of K2 Radical 100's, and 16 years after getting my first pair of inline skates, my true skating journey has begun. I began to skate when it was cold. I began to skate when it was windy. I didn't care about twigs on the path or the setting sun; my passion for skating was wholly reborn. And then, I discovered that they have inline skating events all over the country - and they even have marathons! I set a goal to do at least a half marathon for this year. I also set a goal for 700 miles skated. On June 18th, I hit 516 miles skated for 2011 so I increased my goal to 1000. I bought a camelbak because I started spending more and more time out on my skates. (Instead of 30 minutes to an hour - I can be out for 2-3 hours at a time!) I bought a helmet. I wear a heart rate monitor that works with Endomondo. I focus on fuel and hydration, speed, endurance; but most of all it is even more FUN for me now than it ever was! I found a whole network of inline skaters on Endomondo who help keep the fire alive. I have friends who've given me training advice, hardware advice and pointers on technique. I've become a better skater: I'm STILL becoming a better skater!

Skating is now about fitness as well as fun. At this point in time I am averaging 12 mph and I burn between 800-1900 calories every time I'm out. I want to get faster - at least 13 mph. I'm also trying to condition my heart for longer sprints; endurance is definitely my weakness right now, so I'll be starting interval training next week on top of distance training. I also do weight training and eat like an athlete. I'm currently registered for a half marathon in August [St. Paul] but I also want to do a full marathon in November, [Houston] I plan on registering as soon as they open it up. I am VERY excited about both of these races!!!

I know I'll never win a marathon. I know I'll never be an elite athlete; but that is ok. I'm 40 years old and do not have the time to dedicate to full out training. My journey is more about making - and beating - my own personal bests. Skating has always been my happy place; an adrenaline rush, an endorphine high. It's my favorite ride; I hope you enjoy sharing the ride with me!